Spellbound
An Acrostic that will surprise some....51 total reviews
Comment from richie b
Your poem generates much energy. There is a flow
that continually gains momentum. These factors
arrest your readers attention with ample imagery.
I enjoyed your poem, best wishes in contest
Peace,
Richie b
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Your poem generates much energy. There is a flow
that continually gains momentum. These factors
arrest your readers attention with ample imagery.
I enjoyed your poem, best wishes in contest
Peace,
Richie b
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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richie b thank you so much, it was fun to put up a little levity into the lines of this one.
Comment from Manh C Dang
This poem is interesting, clever and humorous in my opinion. The description of the pier is actually quite good. I can sense the author standing on the beach, admiring the pier's beauty for a long time :-)
Congratulations on a job well done and good luck!
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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This poem is interesting, clever and humorous in my opinion. The description of the pier is actually quite good. I can sense the author standing on the beach, admiring the pier's beauty for a long time :-)
Congratulations on a job well done and good luck!
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Manh, thank you.
Comment from Kenneth Gagne
I think the personification throughout is effective at conveying your feelings toward and about the subject. It helps provide context to the attachment shown toward vessels that, frankly, I've never really understood. I was also surprised at your choice to describe your own eyes, which is an interesting break from the convention of only describing the subject.
I think there are a few places where punctuation might improve the readability. More specifically, its absence makes it slightly difficult to discern where some thoughts end and where others begin, which makes the combination of images expressed on one line with those expressed on multiple lines somewhat off-putting.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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I think the personification throughout is effective at conveying your feelings toward and about the subject. It helps provide context to the attachment shown toward vessels that, frankly, I've never really understood. I was also surprised at your choice to describe your own eyes, which is an interesting break from the convention of only describing the subject.
I think there are a few places where punctuation might improve the readability. More specifically, its absence makes it slightly difficult to discern where some thoughts end and where others begin, which makes the combination of images expressed on one line with those expressed on multiple lines somewhat off-putting.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Kenneth thanks for your fluid and honest comments, I may revisit this, but being spellbound in and of itself, could be seen as a something that doesn't have a pause or breaking points, look back later today thanks
Comment from Puzzle
This is so beautifully written. Also I had no idea we were able to use more than one word for an acrostic poem! I had it in my head they were one word only! I loved yours. Great job
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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This is so beautifully written. Also I had no idea we were able to use more than one word for an acrostic poem! I had it in my head they were one word only! I loved yours. Great job
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Puzzle yes it is quite acceptable to co-join a word.
Comment from Margaret Bednar
An acrostic poem can have so many different styles. This is quite humorous as if the photo wasn't shown the reader would most likely think this is poem is about a woman. I enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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An acrostic poem can have so many different styles. This is quite humorous as if the photo wasn't shown the reader would most likely think this is poem is about a woman. I enjoyed it.
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Margaret, you are so correct, very relieved myself that she was a boat, nice to put a little levity into this one, have a great day!
Comment from Susan Larson
I'm assuming this was a boat for which you listed so passionately. It did keep me wondering to the very end, even thought you foretold it would be a surprise ending . I enjoyed your mastery of words so much I read it three times.
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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I'm assuming this was a boat for which you listed so passionately. It did keep me wondering to the very end, even thought you foretold it would be a surprise ending . I enjoyed your mastery of words so much I read it three times.
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Susan, oh my! thank you, the tickle worked then. You are so correct, very relieved myself that she was a sailboat, nice to put a little levity into this one, THANK YOU for your review and comments.
Comment from joycetreasures
Hello,
I pray all is well in your world during this pandemic. Your artwork of the beautiful bridge over the water is so breathtaking. Spellbound is a very creative acrostic poem. Your message shares you are spellbound by the beauty of this lady. Landmines exploring in your head as you lusted for her. Nice line. Her frame overtly beguiling and her spell so griping are making her appearance spellbound. This is a lovely descriptive, imaginative, and creative acrostic poem. This was an enjoyable read. Happy writing:-)
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Hello,
I pray all is well in your world during this pandemic. Your artwork of the beautiful bridge over the water is so breathtaking. Spellbound is a very creative acrostic poem. Your message shares you are spellbound by the beauty of this lady. Landmines exploring in your head as you lusted for her. Nice line. Her frame overtly beguiling and her spell so griping are making her appearance spellbound. This is a lovely descriptive, imaginative, and creative acrostic poem. This was an enjoyable read. Happy writing:-)
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Joyce, thank you for this deep reflection. I am very relieved myself, however, that "she" was a 32' sailboat. It was nice to put a little levity into this one,
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You are welcome.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Your acrostic poem does a good job of conveying the feeling of exhilaration and desire when faced with a luxury object such as a gleaming sports car, or in this case, a fine yacht. Enough to make me think this is based on personal experience.
I feel that the first line is somewhat out of place and detracts a little from the overall effect.
Good luck. Stay safe.
Steve
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Your acrostic poem does a good job of conveying the feeling of exhilaration and desire when faced with a luxury object such as a gleaming sports car, or in this case, a fine yacht. Enough to make me think this is based on personal experience.
I feel that the first line is somewhat out of place and detracts a little from the overall effect.
Good luck. Stay safe.
Steve
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Thanks Steve
Comment from amada
This acrostic work left me a little confused. Or maybe, I was expecting a wonderful revelation in the last line. Maybe I just didn't get it. However, the story develops well. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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This acrostic work left me a little confused. Or maybe, I was expecting a wonderful revelation in the last line. Maybe I just didn't get it. However, the story develops well. Best wishes.
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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amada, sorry it confused... I the end I am very relieved that this beauty was a 32' sailboat and not a lady, I was fun to put a little levity into this one, as She "Spellbound" was a great bit of fun while owned her.
Comment from Sophie Clarke
Wow. This passes as a wonderful freeverse poem; you wouldn't even notice its acrostic if you weren't looking! You've really captured the feeling of being completely enraptured with someone. Very nice.
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Wow. This passes as a wonderful freeverse poem; you wouldn't even notice its acrostic if you weren't looking! You've really captured the feeling of being completely enraptured with someone. Very nice.
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Sophie, thank you!
