Static
A shocking poem46 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I was concentrating on the interesting meaning of this contest entry, but the second time through noticed the great rhyming scheme. I read this poem backwards. I think the first time through should be for the flow of poetry then concentrate on meaning. Oh well, good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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I was concentrating on the interesting meaning of this contest entry, but the second time through noticed the great rhyming scheme. I read this poem backwards. I think the first time through should be for the flow of poetry then concentrate on meaning. Oh well, good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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Thanks for your review and good luck wishes, Barbara. Glad you enjoyed the poem. All the best, Tony
Comment from estory
I like how you used alliterations to create this sense of the electricity flowing through the lines of the poem, and this snap and crackle of the static. It's also a great image you used to portray this politically static society, stuck in the snap and pop of fear mongering. In the end you run for the hills and the natural world, an escape from society, where all you hear is the thunder and the coyotes howling. I could see that. estory
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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I like how you used alliterations to create this sense of the electricity flowing through the lines of the poem, and this snap and crackle of the static. It's also a great image you used to portray this politically static society, stuck in the snap and pop of fear mongering. In the end you run for the hills and the natural world, an escape from society, where all you hear is the thunder and the coyotes howling. I could see that. estory
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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Thanks for your comments and synopsis, estory. I appreciate your observations about the alliteration and metaphor. My refuge here is a small farm by the sea, but if I lived in America, I'd probably head for the hills. All the best, Tony
Comment from Shirley McLain
I enjoyed reading your poem. It is a great entry for the 20 line Poem Contest. You did a wonderful job I saw no errors. Have a wonderful day. Shirley
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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I enjoyed reading your poem. It is a great entry for the 20 line Poem Contest. You did a wonderful job I saw no errors. Have a wonderful day. Shirley
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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Thanks, Shirley. Glad you enjoyed it. All the best, Tony
Comment from DeboraDyess
OH, what a wonderful use of 'static'. I was going to pick my favorite line, but I like far to many. I might as well just copy and paste the poem. I love that you aren't calling out a single party, but the entire party system. Yep, they're pretty static, all right. And going from the staged, rigidity of politics to the wild, free noise of the mountain -- good transition!
An exceptional poem. You'll do well in this contest!
Be blessed,
Deb
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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OH, what a wonderful use of 'static'. I was going to pick my favorite line, but I like far to many. I might as well just copy and paste the poem. I love that you aren't calling out a single party, but the entire party system. Yep, they're pretty static, all right. And going from the staged, rigidity of politics to the wild, free noise of the mountain -- good transition!
An exceptional poem. You'll do well in this contest!
Be blessed,
Deb
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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Thanks, Deb, for your comments and encouragement. I'm delighted that you enjoyed the poem and very much appreciate the accolade of a sixth star. I have little doubt that both parties will do their best to bamboozle the voters for their own ends. It's just the same here in Australia! Electioneering hasn't changed much over the ages. All the best, Tony
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Opening line paints a memorable picture of a lightning flash.
The second stanza defines the event that occurs every four years.
The rest of the poem illustrates the effectiveness, or lack thereof, on the voters of the rhetoric spewed forth on them.
Not especially fond of political pieces but this one is presented in a unique manner that makes it much more intriguing.
Liked the ending of retreating to safety to watch the sparks fly, and the fallout, because that is what I usually do when this fiasco rolls around.
Favorite line: hustings are busting
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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Opening line paints a memorable picture of a lightning flash.
The second stanza defines the event that occurs every four years.
The rest of the poem illustrates the effectiveness, or lack thereof, on the voters of the rhetoric spewed forth on them.
Not especially fond of political pieces but this one is presented in a unique manner that makes it much more intriguing.
Liked the ending of retreating to safety to watch the sparks fly, and the fallout, because that is what I usually do when this fiasco rolls around.
Favorite line: hustings are busting
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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Thanks for your comments and summation, Brett. As you probably guessed, I'm not a political animal. I have little doubt that both parties will do their best to bamboozle the voters for their own ends. It's just the same here in Australia! Electioneering hasn't changed much over the ages. All the best, Tony
Comment from Amanda Louise Davis
I really like this poem. I think it's awesome, and I love the word play in it. Very nice job with this, and keep up the good writing for sure. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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I really like this poem. I think it's awesome, and I love the word play in it. Very nice job with this, and keep up the good writing for sure. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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Thanks, Amanda. Glad you enjoyed it. All the best, Tony
Comment from January L'Angelle
Well done! I like that you used three definitions of "static" in your poem. The rhyme of "power" and "year" threw me off just a bit, as all the other rhymes were matched so perfectly, this one was a bit different. I chalked it up to you perhaps having a different accent than me. I really enjoyed this poem and felt that it was so smart and cleverly written. Great work! -January L.
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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Well done! I like that you used three definitions of "static" in your poem. The rhyme of "power" and "year" threw me off just a bit, as all the other rhymes were matched so perfectly, this one was a bit different. I chalked it up to you perhaps having a different accent than me. I really enjoyed this poem and felt that it was so smart and cleverly written. Great work! -January L.
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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Thanks, January. Glad you enjoyed it despite the somewhat questionable slant rhyme! All the best, Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
This this is the second excellent example of amphibrachic metre, or more correctly catalectic amphibrachic metre, that I have seen here recently. I think Gloria was responsible for the earlier example. When it is done well as here it produces a great rhythm.
I loved the juxtaposition of static electricity and party politics in this -- both being splendid examples of Shakespeare's 'all sound and fury signifying nothing'.
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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This this is the second excellent example of amphibrachic metre, or more correctly catalectic amphibrachic metre, that I have seen here recently. I think Gloria was responsible for the earlier example. When it is done well as here it produces a great rhythm.
I loved the juxtaposition of static electricity and party politics in this -- both being splendid examples of Shakespeare's 'all sound and fury signifying nothing'.
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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Thanks, Jim. All sound and fury, signifying nothing, is a good summation of these political shenanigans. Electioneering hasn't changed much over the centuries. Thanks for your comments about the metre. Catalectic amphibrachic, eh? I'll believe you!
Comment from royowen
I like the points you make here, it's funny when one thinks of it, perception is everythin, politicians are well aware of this and operate accordingly, no wonder you want.to live on a mountain, but chose to move to the fleuriue peninsula, an excellent post, I told you, you had a great chance in the sonnet contest, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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I like the points you make here, it's funny when one thinks of it, perception is everythin, politicians are well aware of this and operate accordingly, no wonder you want.to live on a mountain, but chose to move to the fleuriue peninsula, an excellent post, I told you, you had a great chance in the sonnet contest, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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Thanks, Roy. I think that if I lived in America, I'd head for the hills. However, the Fleurieu Peninsula suits me perfectly here! I appreciate your congratulations for the sonnet contest. It must have been a close-run thing - there were several very good entries.
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Yours was the best I saw
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
Tony, I think this is a splendid 20-line poem.
Electricity, sparks, danger, tension, lightning, pain, warnings, political implications...it is all there in carefully chosen words, rhyming exquisitely to make a tremendous impact.
I am impressed. It is beautiful.
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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Tony, I think this is a splendid 20-line poem.
Electricity, sparks, danger, tension, lightning, pain, warnings, political implications...it is all there in carefully chosen words, rhyming exquisitely to make a tremendous impact.
I am impressed. It is beautiful.
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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Very many thanks for your review and kind words, Marjon. I also much appreciate the accolade of a sixth star. All good wishes, Tony
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So welcome!
