Static
A shocking poem46 total reviews
Comment from humpwhistle
Yup, that's pretty much the size of it, Tony. A clear and scathing account of the sorry state of our national affairs. The wonder is, we're not all shocked out of our wits at this cancerous corruption we've settled into.
Several great lines, references, and allusions throughout. I'm particularly fond of the gramaphone's grating, frustrating sameness of sound.
Enough to cause anyone to opt for the coyote party.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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Yup, that's pretty much the size of it, Tony. A clear and scathing account of the sorry state of our national affairs. The wonder is, we're not all shocked out of our wits at this cancerous corruption we've settled into.
Several great lines, references, and allusions throughout. I'm particularly fond of the gramaphone's grating, frustrating sameness of sound.
Enough to cause anyone to opt for the coyote party.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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I don't profess to know much about American politics, but seen from a distance, things do seem to be a bit of a shambles at the moment. Not a great deal better here! Your generous award of a sixth star is one bright spot on the horizon, though.
Comment from Vanna1
What is soapbox supposed to mean. Like fakeness like soap opera shows? You have a good vocabulary I must say. I didn't even know a few! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-May-2020
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What is soapbox supposed to mean. Like fakeness like soap opera shows? You have a good vocabulary I must say. I didn't even know a few! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 27-May-2020
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Thanks for the review. The term 'soapbox' is probably more familiar to an English audience. Wikipedia explains it thus: A soapbox is a raised platform which one stands on to make an impromptu speech, often about a political subject. The term originates from the days when speakers would elevate themselves by standing on a wooden crate originally used for shipment of soap or other dry goods from a manufacturer to a retail store.
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There you go... Exceptional vocab... What do I know.
Comment from LisaMay
Your poem snaps and crackles along just like static - if you touched me after reading it my whiskers would have fizzed. You use the variations of 'static' most graphically. I dread election years, with all the crap we are subjected to.
(Dingo is easier to pronounce!)
reply by the author on 27-May-2020
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Your poem snaps and crackles along just like static - if you touched me after reading it my whiskers would have fizzed. You use the variations of 'static' most graphically. I dread election years, with all the crap we are subjected to.
(Dingo is easier to pronounce!)
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 27-May-2020
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Thanks for this fizzing review! I'd probably have used 'dingo' if this hadn't been mainly written for the American audience, who are already being subjected to all that nonsense.
Of course, you guys don't have any dangerous flora and fauna, do you? - except for the kiwifruit, and even that's Chinese!
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People over here only die in danger from their own stupidity by falling off a cliff or getting lost.
Those Chinese gooseberries aren't all they're quacked up to be.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I loved the meter here consistent throughout Tony, some end rhymes depend on accent I expect, for instance: power/year, and fear/scare, these are pronounced very differently in England. Politics can often make us want to escape the sparks flying and it never settles down until the votes are in, I loved the metaphor here, good luck with your vote! I always think of Australia as a liberal country unlike conservative Britain, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 27-May-2020
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I loved the meter here consistent throughout Tony, some end rhymes depend on accent I expect, for instance: power/year, and fear/scare, these are pronounced very differently in England. Politics can often make us want to escape the sparks flying and it never settles down until the votes are in, I loved the metaphor here, good luck with your vote! I always think of Australia as a liberal country unlike conservative Britain, love Dolly x
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Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 27-May-2020
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Thanks, Dolly. Even here those two are only near rhymes, slant rhymes, or whatever you want to call them! Australia certainly has a more relaxed atmosphere that England and a looser social structure. Politically, the Liberals here are very much the same as the Conservatives in England. Pehaps not quite so hidebound, though.
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That?s what I love about Australia, my sister emigrated when she was in her twenties and I could have gone with her but I stayed in England, she married an Aussie and has loves her life there, love Dolly x
Comment from JanPerry
Highly commended. Your use of English in this prose is outstanding. Well done on an intellectual insight of static electricity. I like communication interference as a reference to static. A deep insight indeed. Thank you.
reply by the author on 27-May-2020
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Highly commended. Your use of English in this prose is outstanding. Well done on an intellectual insight of static electricity. I like communication interference as a reference to static. A deep insight indeed. Thank you.
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 27-May-2020
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Thank you, Jan. I very much appreciate your kind remarks and the sixth star. All good wishes, Tony
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You must be very smart.
Comment from lyenochka
Another wonderfully crafted poem. Your meter flows and I'm now attuned to Aussie speech rhymes. The first stanza's lightning (in the nerves) is echoed in Nature's lightning. But the natural one is much more conducive to peace, unlike the chaos in politics and biased news.
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reply by the author on 27-May-2020
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Another wonderfully crafted poem. Your meter flows and I'm now attuned to Aussie speech rhymes. The first stanza's lightning (in the nerves) is echoed in Nature's lightning. But the natural one is much more conducive to peace, unlike the chaos in politics and biased news.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 27-May-2020
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Thanks, Helen. I tend to agree! Much better to be out of doors than watching and an endless tale of tragedy and woe on the television!
