Antiques and Such
Something lovely this way comes43 total reviews
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Congrats in winning the contest it is a nice but sad poem, that goes beyond the normal. A masque that entraps and devours souls, that is something unique:"The mask had trapped another soul,
it always found a way.
she dreamed of all the night had held,
then later died that day."
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2020
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Congrats in winning the contest it is a nice but sad poem, that goes beyond the normal. A masque that entraps and devours souls, that is something unique:"The mask had trapped another soul,
it always found a way.
she dreamed of all the night had held,
then later died that day."
Comment Written 09-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2020
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I think I watched too much twilight zone when I was young..lol. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my poem. :)
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
A fantastic story told in this poem about mask. It has a free flow of thoughts and great word imagery and word visuals. I like and enjoyed the read. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2020
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A fantastic story told in this poem about mask. It has a free flow of thoughts and great word imagery and word visuals. I like and enjoyed the read. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 09-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2020
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Thank you for this very nice review. :)
Comment from oliver818
I enjoyed reading this poem. You really described everything poignantly and the characters are interesting. I can definitely see why it won this competition. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2020
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I enjoyed reading this poem. You really described everything poignantly and the characters are interesting. I can definitely see why it won this competition. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
Comment Written 09-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2020
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Thank you for this nice review. :)
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I have one six star left and I think i will spend it on your poem. Love your poem as Snow White has always been a favorite. Love the rhyming, too. Well written; unique.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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I have one six star left and I think i will spend it on your poem. Love your poem as Snow White has always been a favorite. Love the rhyming, too. Well written; unique.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Thank you for this lovely six star rating...it made my weekend! :)
Comment from Darlene Franklin
A mask of enchantment. I love it. I wonder if perhaps the shopkeepers victims felt the mask was worth the price? Giving them one, final night of youth and desirability before the end? Except she apparently went from beginning to age to being ravaged by age, renewing the shopkeeper's fountain of youth. What imagination!
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
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A mask of enchantment. I love it. I wonder if perhaps the shopkeepers victims felt the mask was worth the price? Giving them one, final night of youth and desirability before the end? Except she apparently went from beginning to age to being ravaged by age, renewing the shopkeeper's fountain of youth. What imagination!
Comment Written 03-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for this great review...I'm so glad you liked it.
Comment from June Sargent
This is a creative, clever and enchanting entry for the contest! I was mesmerized by the story as it unfolded. Very well done. I wish the best in the competition.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
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This is a creative, clever and enchanting entry for the contest! I was mesmerized by the story as it unfolded. Very well done. I wish the best in the competition.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
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Thank you for this wonderful 6 star rating...it means a lot to me that you liked it.
Comment from lancellot
Well worth a six. This was a lovely story in poetic form. I couldn't turn away from line to line. It started like Cinderella but ended like tales from the crypt. Great ending. Was she a witch, or a just a girl who now can live forever off other girls. who knows. Great entry.
I will remember this one.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
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Well worth a six. This was a lovely story in poetic form. I couldn't turn away from line to line. It started like Cinderella but ended like tales from the crypt. Great ending. Was she a witch, or a just a girl who now can live forever off other girls. who knows. Great entry.
I will remember this one.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
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Thank you for this great review and for the 6 stars, it means a lot. I think maybe I watched too many horror movies when I was younger..lol.
Comment from Sally Law
This is fabulous! Exceptional really, and here I am vanquished of sixes! Please accept my five with compliments. Beautifully penned and illustrated with a story within.
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sal xoxo
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
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This is fabulous! Exceptional really, and here I am vanquished of sixes! Please accept my five with compliments. Beautifully penned and illustrated with a story within.
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sal xoxo
Comment Written 03-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
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Thank you for this great review. I'm so glad you liked it. :)
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It's looks like a winner. You just watch!!! I'm rooting for ya!! Sal xo
Comment from Cindy Decker
Boogie nights, I am totally swept away by your enthralling poem. I loved the sound of it, how it marched along. And the imagery and story line are exceptional. Wonderful work. Beautiful entrancing photo.
Best wishes,
Cindy
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
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Boogie nights, I am totally swept away by your enthralling poem. I loved the sound of it, how it marched along. And the imagery and story line are exceptional. Wonderful work. Beautiful entrancing photo.
Best wishes,
Cindy
Comment Written 03-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
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Thank you for such a wonderful review and the 6 stars. You not only made my day..but also my birthday! Its today. Thanks again. :)
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Happy birthday and many more!
Comment from robyn corum
BN,
Interesting premise - and one I was not expecting -not at first, anyway. It also reminded me of Jim Carrey's 'The Mask' - which made him always tell the truth, didn't it? I don't think I've ever seen anything but the previews and trailers, but that jumped into my mind, as well.
It looked like you had fun composing this one, and I'm sure your readers will get a kick out of it. *smile* I did!
Some notes, if I may?
1.) Sequins sewed around the crown,
put on (their) own light show.
2.) A veil covered up her face, it made her feel at ease.
-> (A hanging veil concealed her face,
and) made her feel at ease.
--> for scansion - to even out the meter
3.) Pulling up her stockings
that had holes around the knees.
--> She deftly inched her stockings up (with holes around the knees.)
4.) She found the mask that afternoon,
at a shop, she'd never seen.
And yet it seemed familiar
like she'd seen it in a dream.
--> She('d) found the mask that afternoon,
(in) a shop she'd never seen.
And yet it seemed familiar(:)
like she'd (worn) it in a dream.
5.) "Antiques and Such"(,) the sign had (read),
it(')s the first thing that she saw.
--> "Antiques and Such"(,) the sign had (read);
the first thing that she saw.
6.) The shop owner bagged up the mask,
--> The shop keeper wrapped up the mask,
7.) She smiled at her kindly(--)
"Have a good day(,)" she extolled.
8.) It(')s something she had never felt,
9.) The mask came off, the silken cloth,
faux jewels, paper mache.
--> two stanzas above you said she NEVER ONCE took off the mask and he never saw her face...(May need to reword that since you're contradicting yourself?)
10.) "Antiques and Such," the sign had said,
the beautiful owner smiled.
The mask waited on a dusty shelf,
from since she was a child.
--> I know we're supposed to just go with it, but I can't help wondering how the mask got back to the lady at the shop...
11.) Would she live forever?
Well, (m)ust you even ask?
--> hahaha I couldn't help but think of Gothel in the the Disney version of Rapunzel entitled, "Tangled'. In that movie, it's Rapunzel's long and beautiful hair that has the ability to keep Rapunzel's stepmother looking beautiful and young. Have you seen it? Because of my grandgirls, it's another movie I can recite verbatim from beginning to end! hahaha
This poem also made me think of Jim Carrey's movie, The Mask. But rather than affect his looks, I THINK that mask made him always tell the absolute truth, didn't it? (Another very yucky situation!)
A fun post. Thanks so much for sharing -- And good luck in the voting -- I hope you find something useful in these notes!! *smile*
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020
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BN,
Interesting premise - and one I was not expecting -not at first, anyway. It also reminded me of Jim Carrey's 'The Mask' - which made him always tell the truth, didn't it? I don't think I've ever seen anything but the previews and trailers, but that jumped into my mind, as well.
It looked like you had fun composing this one, and I'm sure your readers will get a kick out of it. *smile* I did!
Some notes, if I may?
1.) Sequins sewed around the crown,
put on (their) own light show.
2.) A veil covered up her face, it made her feel at ease.
-> (A hanging veil concealed her face,
and) made her feel at ease.
--> for scansion - to even out the meter
3.) Pulling up her stockings
that had holes around the knees.
--> She deftly inched her stockings up (with holes around the knees.)
4.) She found the mask that afternoon,
at a shop, she'd never seen.
And yet it seemed familiar
like she'd seen it in a dream.
--> She('d) found the mask that afternoon,
(in) a shop she'd never seen.
And yet it seemed familiar(:)
like she'd (worn) it in a dream.
5.) "Antiques and Such"(,) the sign had (read),
it(')s the first thing that she saw.
--> "Antiques and Such"(,) the sign had (read);
the first thing that she saw.
6.) The shop owner bagged up the mask,
--> The shop keeper wrapped up the mask,
7.) She smiled at her kindly(--)
"Have a good day(,)" she extolled.
8.) It(')s something she had never felt,
9.) The mask came off, the silken cloth,
faux jewels, paper mache.
--> two stanzas above you said she NEVER ONCE took off the mask and he never saw her face...(May need to reword that since you're contradicting yourself?)
10.) "Antiques and Such," the sign had said,
the beautiful owner smiled.
The mask waited on a dusty shelf,
from since she was a child.
--> I know we're supposed to just go with it, but I can't help wondering how the mask got back to the lady at the shop...
11.) Would she live forever?
Well, (m)ust you even ask?
--> hahaha I couldn't help but think of Gothel in the the Disney version of Rapunzel entitled, "Tangled'. In that movie, it's Rapunzel's long and beautiful hair that has the ability to keep Rapunzel's stepmother looking beautiful and young. Have you seen it? Because of my grandgirls, it's another movie I can recite verbatim from beginning to end! hahaha
This poem also made me think of Jim Carrey's movie, The Mask. But rather than affect his looks, I THINK that mask made him always tell the absolute truth, didn't it? (Another very yucky situation!)
A fun post. Thanks so much for sharing -- And good luck in the voting -- I hope you find something useful in these notes!! *smile*
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020
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Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem, and for your suggestions. I find them all very helpful. :)
