Comment from Brad Bennett

Excellent

Very good message, short and sweet, but says much. We all want perfection, but most of us are smart enough to know it's unattainable. We do our best, and find a way.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 08-Jun-2020

Thanks for reading zanya

Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

-Good artwork
and presentation.
-The syllable count is good,
along with the topic, along
with the effective use of
one continuous thought, and rhyme.
-I like the contrast between
the first line, and your objective
in the last line.
-Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 08-Jun-2020

Thanks for reading and reviewing zanya

reply by Pam (respa) on 08-Jun-2020

You are very welcome, zanya.

Comment from phill doran

Excellent

Hello Anon
Good point. I was always told that lazy people make the best managers because they delegate everything effectively. One man's 'flaw' is another man's 'ceiling'!
5/7/5 isn't much wiggle space and you've done well. I was thinking that maybe you coudl articulate line 2 better, and make it less 'jerky'? I mean nothing disrespectful, only if you have time before your contest, it might make the reading smoother? Something alone the lines of;
"...but wait: I'll find the shortest..."
I am just thinking aloud - I wish you well with this piece as it reads.

cheers
phill

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 08-Jun-2020

Thanks for reviewing and suggestions -much appreciated zanya