To Breathe For George
A Swap Quatrain18 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
You've used the swap quatrain well for the 'breathe for George' story. Hopefully all the wold wide rallies will also make everyone realise we are all just people, no matter what we look like. Nicely done, cheers
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
  |
You've used the swap quatrain well for the 'breathe for George' story. Hopefully all the wold wide rallies will also make everyone realise we are all just people, no matter what we look like. Nicely done, cheers
Comment Written 18-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for your wonderful review and comments, much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from JLR
kahpot, thank you for such an eloquent and embracing the moment poem. With perfect swap refrains that are seamless. Your whole self was poured into the prophetic words, I am grateful for your sharing them,
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
|
kahpot, thank you for such an eloquent and embracing the moment poem. With perfect swap refrains that are seamless. Your whole self was poured into the prophetic words, I am grateful for your sharing them,
Comment Written 15-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
-
Thank you JLR, I enjoyed writing this and letting loose on how I feel, much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job with your challenge poem. I like the color scheme--a great fit for the seriousness and the tragedy that occurred. Your lines flow smoothly with great imagery. Your 'swap reverse nicely to further your message, This was a sad day and those rioters are making things worse with the looting and shooting that is happening plus the burning. I don't believe Mr. Floyd would approve. Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
|
You did a good job with your challenge poem. I like the color scheme--a great fit for the seriousness and the tragedy that occurred. Your lines flow smoothly with great imagery. Your 'swap reverse nicely to further your message, This was a sad day and those rioters are making things worse with the looting and shooting that is happening plus the burning. I don't believe Mr. Floyd would approve. Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
-
Thank you Jan, I enjoyed this form, no I am sure Mr Ffloyd would not, as always much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about the unfortunate death of a man at the hands of a police officer who constraint him in a way that he could not breathe but the officer seemed to ignore his cries causing his death.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
|
A very well-written poem about the unfortunate death of a man at the hands of a police officer who constraint him in a way that he could not breathe but the officer seemed to ignore his cries causing his death.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
-
Thank you, and yes unfortunately his cries were ignored, much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fine swap quatrain with a faithful message here, we will not forget this tragic event and hopefully we will learn from it, the mourning has turned into violence on the streets at a time when we should be isolating, a sad turn of events, well recorded in your words here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
|
A fine swap quatrain with a faithful message here, we will not forget this tragic event and hopefully we will learn from it, the mourning has turned into violence on the streets at a time when we should be isolating, a sad turn of events, well recorded in your words here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
-
Thank you Dolly, it is quite dangerous on both fronts now, I enjoyed this form, much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from lancellot
It is a well written piece with an emotional message. I condemn the way George died. We should hold cops at a higher standard because of power we grant them to do an often thankless and dangerous job.
But I also think we are getting carried away. Bad cops do bad things but not at the proportion all protests and riots make it seem, and George was not MLK or Kennedy or Malcolm. He didn't do anything for anyone.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
|
It is a well written piece with an emotional message. I condemn the way George died. We should hold cops at a higher standard because of power we grant them to do an often thankless and dangerous job.
But I also think we are getting carried away. Bad cops do bad things but not at the proportion all protests and riots make it seem, and George was not MLK or Kennedy or Malcolm. He didn't do anything for anyone.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
-
Thank you very much, and yes unfortunately there is bad in every color and race, much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
To Breathe For George
by kahpot
Hello, Kahpot,
Beautiful Swap Quatrain. It's a new form for me. I like the presentation too. I agree with you, I am not for looters but I am for protestors rights.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
|
To Breathe For George
by kahpot
Hello, Kahpot,
Beautiful Swap Quatrain. It's a new form for me. I like the presentation too. I agree with you, I am not for looters but I am for protestors rights.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
-
Thank you my Friend, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from mermaids
Your poetic form and strong steady beat gives George Floyd a voice that lives on. Your smooth flow of lines and rhyming words adds to the emotion and strength of the poem.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
|
Your poetic form and strong steady beat gives George Floyd a voice that lives on. Your smooth flow of lines and rhyming words adds to the emotion and strength of the poem.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
-
Thank you very much, I enjoyed trying this form, your review is much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Boogienights
I to am all for peaceful protests and social change. Sadly though, bad people have hijacked these protests and the result has been death and destruction. I didn't know George Floyd, but I feel he wouldn't like this. Just my opinion.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
|
I to am all for peaceful protests and social change. Sadly though, bad people have hijacked these protests and the result has been death and destruction. I didn't know George Floyd, but I feel he wouldn't like this. Just my opinion.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for these wonderful comments, yes these riots are taking away the real tragedy, much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Jesse James Doty
You did an exemplary job of the swap quatrain format for poetry. The repeated refrains emphasize the meaningful message of breathing for George. I, too, am for the marches in the street for civil rights. Not for the rioting. Sadly, they come at the same time, which muddles the issues involved with civil rights. This is, and always has been, an important issue in the course of our country and others of similar history. Equal rights for all is a great goal. You made several points and used the format to its upmost benefit in doing so. Well written and extremely topical. Bravo, my friend.
Take care,
Jesse
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
 |
You did an exemplary job of the swap quatrain format for poetry. The repeated refrains emphasize the meaningful message of breathing for George. I, too, am for the marches in the street for civil rights. Not for the rioting. Sadly, they come at the same time, which muddles the issues involved with civil rights. This is, and always has been, an important issue in the course of our country and others of similar history. Equal rights for all is a great goal. You made several points and used the format to its upmost benefit in doing so. Well written and extremely topical. Bravo, my friend.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment Written 13-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
-
Thank you Jesse, I do not understand all these riots, now the destruction of monuments, even in Aus. we are seeing the same destruction, this form was inspiring as the more I seem to write the more of what I wanted to say just came out, Many thanks for your very understanding and encouraging review, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
-
You are welcome. It can sometimes be cathartic to write what truly burns in your heart. It resonated with me, my friend. I am happy you liked my review.
Take care and stay well,
Jesse
