A Shiver of Sharks
A 5-7-5 for the contest80 total reviews
Comment from Bobby Cunningham
This is an interesting little poem. Can be interpreted in different ways much like how people interpret a painting. The photo is perfect and the color of the word Flesh is very creative. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
  |
This is an interesting little poem. Can be interpreted in different ways much like how people interpret a painting. The photo is perfect and the color of the word Flesh is very creative. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
-
Many thanks for your supportive review and good luck wishes, Bollie. Appreciated.
Comment from Amanda Louise Davis
I really loved this one. Great use of your syllables. I loved the etaphor and the alliteration. You did a really great job. I hope you had fun writing this one.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
 |
I really loved this one. Great use of your syllables. I loved the etaphor and the alliteration. You did a really great job. I hope you had fun writing this one.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
-
Many thanks for your supportive review and the sixth star, Amanda. Appreciated.
Comment from Bichon
Is "shiver" the collective word for a number of sharks together? I didn't know that! This was an interesting 5-7-5 about the sharks and their feeding routine, probably chasing after some fish.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
|
Is "shiver" the collective word for a number of sharks together? I didn't know that! This was an interesting 5-7-5 about the sharks and their feeding routine, probably chasing after some fish.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
-
Many thanks for your supportive review, Bichon. Appreciated.
Comment from Bill Pinder
Excellent 575 poem for the contest. I like your matching of the picture with your well chosen words. I guess a group of sharks is called a shiver. Clever use of the phrase "pound of flesh." Bill
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
|
Excellent 575 poem for the contest. I like your matching of the picture with your well chosen words. I guess a group of sharks is called a shiver. Clever use of the phrase "pound of flesh." Bill
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
-
Many thanks for your supportive review, Bill. Appreciated.
Comment from R. Hiland
Hmmm. You lost me with this one--don't know how to read "misfortune". That would seem to be about a human or some other prey diving into the shiver. Love the "shiver" tho. Great image.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
|
Hmmm. You lost me with this one--don't know how to read "misfortune". That would seem to be about a human or some other prey diving into the shiver. Love the "shiver" tho. Great image.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
-
Many thanks for your review, R. Hiland. Appreciated. The poem was intended as a metaphor for loan sharks. The picture was a bit misleading, perhaps.
-
Maybe I should have had caffeine coffee this AM--wake my brain up
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello Tony, a very good use of metaphor in this piece. You could not have written it at a better time with sharks everywhere trying to cash in on a worldwide economic disaster. A risky time if you are wondering where to invest your money. You misled me with the flesh coloured word 'flesh' - LOL! 'Diving into misfortune' - what a good line. Good luck in the contest with this winner. Dorothy x
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
|
Hello Tony, a very good use of metaphor in this piece. You could not have written it at a better time with sharks everywhere trying to cash in on a worldwide economic disaster. A risky time if you are wondering where to invest your money. You misled me with the flesh coloured word 'flesh' - LOL! 'Diving into misfortune' - what a good line. Good luck in the contest with this winner. Dorothy x
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
-
Thanks for your review, Dorothy, and for the supportive comments and good luck wishes. I appreciate the accolade of the sixth star, too!. All the best, Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
Google has the collective noun 'shiver' as well as 'shoal' and 'school' for a gathering of sharks and it does strike me as appropriate as well as alliterative. Did you miss a further alliterative chance that would also have been appropriate -- 'diving into the shylocks'? (The shylocks being dangerous shallows where you could get screwed!)
The pink fonted 'flesh' was a master stroke but you know what the judge's reaction will be -- too much reliance on the picture!
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
|
Google has the collective noun 'shiver' as well as 'shoal' and 'school' for a gathering of sharks and it does strike me as appropriate as well as alliterative. Did you miss a further alliterative chance that would also have been appropriate -- 'diving into the shylocks'? (The shylocks being dangerous shallows where you could get screwed!)
The pink fonted 'flesh' was a master stroke but you know what the judge's reaction will be -- too much reliance on the picture!
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
-
There's a term I've never heard of before. It is so appropriate that I've amended my poem and stolen your second line, with appropriate acknowledgement, of course! Plagiarism and pink flesh - what hope have I now?
-
Plagiarism is certainly a more sincere form of flattery than mere imitation. You are welcome to that one, but a virtual beer please if it wins.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written 5-7-5 poem about the shiver of sharks who dived into a pool of misfortune to claim their daily pound of flesh. A great photo to complement your poem.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
|
A very well-written 5-7-5 poem about the shiver of sharks who dived into a pool of misfortune to claim their daily pound of flesh. A great photo to complement your poem.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
-
Thank you, Sandra. I appreciate your synopsis. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from humpwhistle
Ah, and tender, pink flesh it may be. A shiver of sharks, eh? I never heard that one before, but it is eerily appropriate. Yes, sharks swim in misfortune like other fish swim in the sea.
Best of luck with the Committee.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
|
Ah, and tender, pink flesh it may be. A shiver of sharks, eh? I never heard that one before, but it is eerily appropriate. Yes, sharks swim in misfortune like other fish swim in the sea.
Best of luck with the Committee.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
-
Thanks, Lee. There are sharks everywhere!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is scary and I know australia has many sharks and this is a metaphor for the sharks in society who act in the same way and often jump on the band wagon to attack someone who has already fallen until every ounce of flesh is picked off the bone, a fine 5-7-5 with hidden meaning here, I love the alliteration too, Tony, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
|
This is scary and I know australia has many sharks and this is a metaphor for the sharks in society who act in the same way and often jump on the band wagon to attack someone who has already fallen until every ounce of flesh is picked off the bone, a fine 5-7-5 with hidden meaning here, I love the alliteration too, Tony, love Dolly x
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
-
Thanks, Dolly. I appreciate your review. All good wishes, Tony.
