A Fond Memory
City Kid15 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
There is a major juxtaposition of message in this poem. It is made stronger because it is told through a child's point of view and perspective. I don't think children are allowed to live as innocently in these days, when things should have gotten better. Their parents have to warn them about everything. Hopefully, parents of white children are not warning them about black people as the parents of black children need to warn their children about white people.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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There is a major juxtaposition of message in this poem. It is made stronger because it is told through a child's point of view and perspective. I don't think children are allowed to live as innocently in these days, when things should have gotten better. Their parents have to warn them about everything. Hopefully, parents of white children are not warning them about black people as the parents of black children need to warn their children about white people.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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Thank you for reading my poem. I wish a time would come when skin color wouldn't matter, I hope it's in our lifetime. Thanks again for reviewing.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a lovely and strong entry for the Childhood writing prompt. It should do very well in the contest. I wish you the very best luck.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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This is a lovely and strong entry for the Childhood writing prompt. It should do very well in the contest. I wish you the very best luck.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Mary Hollingsworth
Oh wow, you conjured up such beautiful childhood memories. The kids today don't have a clue of what real fun is. Thank you for sharing your childhood memories, I really enjoyed the read. Makes me think of Stevie Wonder's song: I wish those could come back again , why did those days ever have to end. I love them sooooooooooooooo!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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Oh wow, you conjured up such beautiful childhood memories. The kids today don't have a clue of what real fun is. Thank you for sharing your childhood memories, I really enjoyed the read. Makes me think of Stevie Wonder's song: I wish those could come back again , why did those days ever have to end. I love them sooooooooooooooo!
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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Thank you for this great review, it means a lot.
Comment from Mia Twysted
A very good entry for this contest. It was light and bouncy. I was given the chance to see things from another's eyes as the events of their childhood were related to me.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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A very good entry for this contest. It was light and bouncy. I was given the chance to see things from another's eyes as the events of their childhood were related to me.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Thank you for this very nice review and your kind words. :)
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed reading your fun contest entry, Mystery Author. Good job with the rhymes, the smooth flow of lines, the great picture, and the way you told this fun event. I could see everything you mentioned as I read it. Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
'till---> 'til
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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I enjoyed reading your fun contest entry, Mystery Author. Good job with the rhymes, the smooth flow of lines, the great picture, and the way you told this fun event. I could see everything you mentioned as I read it. Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
'till---> 'til
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Thank you for this great review ...I'm so glad you liked it.
Comment from Roberta Lawrinsky
hi!
The southside of Chicago!
omg!
Reminds me so much of being a little girl, holding my mother's hand on a hot day as we walked through New York City streets at the moment the hydrant was unlocked.
So much joy!
I like your concrete descriptions.
Nothing vague & abstract here.
"I wish I could relive those days,
they meant so much to me."
suggestion: they MEAN so much to me--??
In a way, your poem does relive the experience, every time someone reads it.
"A Fond Memory" as a title is good, but sorta generic so my other there suggestion is to be more specific, as in 'Southside Memories'.
You know best, of course, so I'm leavin' it up to you.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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hi!
The southside of Chicago!
omg!
Reminds me so much of being a little girl, holding my mother's hand on a hot day as we walked through New York City streets at the moment the hydrant was unlocked.
So much joy!
I like your concrete descriptions.
Nothing vague & abstract here.
"I wish I could relive those days,
they meant so much to me."
suggestion: they MEAN so much to me--??
In a way, your poem does relive the experience, every time someone reads it.
"A Fond Memory" as a title is good, but sorta generic so my other there suggestion is to be more specific, as in 'Southside Memories'.
You know best, of course, so I'm leavin' it up to you.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Thank you for this nice review and your helpful suggestions...it's how I learn. Much appreciated. :)
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I hope you won the contest
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello my friend
Nice entry for the
Childhood writing prompt contest. Great rhyme scheme. Good line count. Lovely childhood memories. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Hello my friend
Nice entry for the
Childhood writing prompt contest. Great rhyme scheme. Good line count. Lovely childhood memories. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Thank you for reading my poem and for your encouraging words. :)
Comment from BethShelby
I really enjoyed reading your upbeat poem. It was a welcome relief from all the bad childhood some claim to have had. Those of us who were happy children probably grew up to be happier adults. We were the lucky ones.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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I really enjoyed reading your upbeat poem. It was a welcome relief from all the bad childhood some claim to have had. Those of us who were happy children probably grew up to be happier adults. We were the lucky ones.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Thank you for this nice review. I think we are the lucky ones.
Comment from BethShelby
I really enjoyed reading your upbeat poem. It was a welcome relief from all the bad childhood some claim to have had. Those of us who were happy children probably grew up to be happier adults. We were the lucky ones.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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I really enjoyed reading your upbeat poem. It was a welcome relief from all the bad childhood some claim to have had. Those of us who were happy children probably grew up to be happier adults. We were the lucky ones.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Thank you
Comment from BethShelby
I really enjoyed reading your upbeat poem. It was a welcome relief from all the bad childhood some claim to have had. Those of us who were happy children probably grew up to be happier adults. We were the lucky ones.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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I really enjoyed reading your upbeat poem. It was a welcome relief from all the bad childhood some claim to have had. Those of us who were happy children probably grew up to be happier adults. We were the lucky ones.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Thanks again. :)
