Animal Antics and Interactions
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "A Dog With an Attitude"Animal that inspire me to record their stories.
12 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello anonymous
An interesting entry for the start the story with this sentence writing prompt contest. You followed the rules well. The story didn't go where I thought and was a pleasant surprise. Very well written. It seemed believable. It had a sweet ending. Kokomo sounds like my aunt's dog, a Pekinese...he was vicious and bit everyone but my aunt and my dad. I was terrified of him.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Hello anonymous
An interesting entry for the start the story with this sentence writing prompt contest. You followed the rules well. The story didn't go where I thought and was a pleasant surprise. Very well written. It seemed believable. It had a sweet ending. Kokomo sounds like my aunt's dog, a Pekinese...he was vicious and bit everyone but my aunt and my dad. I was terrified of him.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for the review and the nice comments. I appreciate it.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a great story entry for the Start the story with this sentence writing prompt. This is entertaining and should do well in the contest. Good luck!
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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This is a great story entry for the Start the story with this sentence writing prompt. This is entertaining and should do well in the contest. Good luck!
Comment Written 29-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for the review and nice comments.
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You're welcome.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Really well executed. I have met several dogs like that. My in laws had a nasty little Shih Tsu that I kept visualizing throughout. Fun story. Nice ending. Gretchen
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Really well executed. I have met several dogs like that. My in laws had a nasty little Shih Tsu that I kept visualizing throughout. Fun story. Nice ending. Gretchen
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for the review and nice comments.
Comment from mermaids
I enjoyed your doggie tale immensely because my dog Que was the dachshund version of Kokomo. I inherited Que from my parents and he was a great watch dog. Fortunately, he liked my husband when I met him, but was not too fond of anyone else. This is a well written canine story and I wish you well in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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I enjoyed your doggie tale immensely because my dog Que was the dachshund version of Kokomo. I inherited Que from my parents and he was a great watch dog. Fortunately, he liked my husband when I met him, but was not too fond of anyone else. This is a well written canine story and I wish you well in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for the great review and comment and for six stars
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Life shows us miracles everywhere, and your story brings it at the end :"austiously, I slid the door back, and Kokomo came inside and sat by Dad's knee. Dad reached down and patted him, and he laid his head against Dad leg. For the rest of Dad's life, he had a friend. Miracles do happen.:" Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Life shows us miracles everywhere, and your story brings it at the end :"austiously, I slid the door back, and Kokomo came inside and sat by Dad's knee. Dad reached down and patted him, and he laid his head against Dad leg. For the rest of Dad's life, he had a friend. Miracles do happen.:" Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for the review and nice comments.
Comment from damommy
I guess Kokomo needed a purpose in life, and your father gave him that, to comfort him bound in the wheelchair. Animals are amazing, and we don't always understand them. This is quite the nice story. Thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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I guess Kokomo needed a purpose in life, and your father gave him that, to comfort him bound in the wheelchair. Animals are amazing, and we don't always understand them. This is quite the nice story. Thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for the review and nice comments.
Comment from nor84
I wanted to give you a heads-up. The contest announcement says to write a short story beginning with a specified sentence.
Required Sentence: I saw it batter against the glass snarling.
Your sentence: "I saw it batter against the glass snarling," Kimberly said as she stood trembling in my kitchen.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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I wanted to give you a heads-up. The contest announcement says to write a short story beginning with a specified sentence.
Required Sentence: I saw it batter against the glass snarling.
Your sentence: "I saw it batter against the glass snarling," Kimberly said as she stood trembling in my kitchen.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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I'm confused, are you saying a the quote marks would disqualify this.
Punctuation has never disqualified them in the past. They have never had a problem in the past with even changing the tense.
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No, but adding words to the required sentence would. All of the 'sentence starts the story' contests have use the required sentence unless it specifies changes can be made in the announcement. Usually, it's a simple fix. Just use the required sentence and put further explanation in the second sentence. Yes, you can use quote marks and a tag (she asked/said, etc) but you can't add any additional words.
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Thanks.
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I corrected it.
Comment from Kermit R. Mullins
The title "A dog with an attitude certainly set the stage for the body of the work, which did work out very well. He's still showing his teeth was fluent throughout the chapter. From despise, to compromise and then compassion, the direction was set to end nicely. Very well done'
As a note:in the 2nd paragraph Komomo may have been a misspelling?
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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The title "A dog with an attitude certainly set the stage for the body of the work, which did work out very well. He's still showing his teeth was fluent throughout the chapter. From despise, to compromise and then compassion, the direction was set to end nicely. Very well done'
As a note:in the 2nd paragraph Komomo may have been a misspelling?
Comment Written 27-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for the review and nice comments. Thanks for pointing out the typo in his name.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
What an interesting contest entry, Mystery Author. I don't know much about spitz dogs. However, your seemed unusual. I'm glad he had you Dad as a friend. I believe Kokomo instinctively knew your dad was sick and not able to do for himself. Maybe that's what Kokomo needed all along--like a therapy dog. I'm glad you and your husband kept him for those many years. I laughed at the part about chewing the roof off his house.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
May I suggest or File 13
"Calm down," I said. "It's not an it. It's a he. That's Komomo. [ Kokomo --check the spelling on other places where you use his name ] He always goes a little crazy when someone, [no comma ] he doesn't know comes into the house."
"That('s) a dog? You have a vicious dog?
I laughed. "We happen to care about that dog. Look (,) he's calmed down some. Don't you think he's pretty.(?) He's a spitz.
*****
He was the only one of the litter left, and she let us have him at a reasonable price, [ no comma ] because she had a new litter about to go on the market.
Maybe the virus left this one a little crazier than most. Because everyone was afraid of him, my husband built him a house and decided he needed to live outside [ add period ] Still a teething puppy, he promptly chewed the roof off the house.
For a small dog, he could leap almost to the top of the sliding glass dog[door ]. He seemed to feel his calling in life was to make sure no one, other than family[ comma after family ] felt welcome on our home.
"Please, somebody! Get him off", she pleaded. "He's gonna' [ delete this apostrophe ] bite me."
If we dared dress up to go out, we better stay inside, because he would growl threateningly at us, [ no comma ] if we came near him.
This dog's lifespan lasted eighteen years, and other than my husband and I, [ me ] who fed and cared for him, he only made one friend.
After my mom died, my dad came to live with us. We brought Dad into the house, [no comma ] in his wheelchair. Kokomo didn't do his usual jumping and snarling act. He sat calmly,[ no comma ] looking at Dad. He actually wagged his tail and looked as though he was smiling.
"What a beautiful dog," Dad said. "Can he come inside?"
Caustically, [ Cautiously, ] I slid the door back, and Kokomo came inside and sat by Dad's knee. Dad reached down and patted him, and he laid his head against Dad leg. For the rest of Dad's life, he had a friend. Miracles do happen.
~~~
Donâ??t you think heâ??s pretty? [add space after question mark ]Heâ??s a spitz. Weâ??ve had him since he was a puppy.â??
Occasionally, we let him inside, but invariable [ invariably ] he'd steal a
shoe
Caustiously, I slid [ Cautiously ]
.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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What an interesting contest entry, Mystery Author. I don't know much about spitz dogs. However, your seemed unusual. I'm glad he had you Dad as a friend. I believe Kokomo instinctively knew your dad was sick and not able to do for himself. Maybe that's what Kokomo needed all along--like a therapy dog. I'm glad you and your husband kept him for those many years. I laughed at the part about chewing the roof off his house.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
May I suggest or File 13
"Calm down," I said. "It's not an it. It's a he. That's Komomo. [ Kokomo --check the spelling on other places where you use his name ] He always goes a little crazy when someone, [no comma ] he doesn't know comes into the house."
"That('s) a dog? You have a vicious dog?
I laughed. "We happen to care about that dog. Look (,) he's calmed down some. Don't you think he's pretty.(?) He's a spitz.
*****
He was the only one of the litter left, and she let us have him at a reasonable price, [ no comma ] because she had a new litter about to go on the market.
Maybe the virus left this one a little crazier than most. Because everyone was afraid of him, my husband built him a house and decided he needed to live outside [ add period ] Still a teething puppy, he promptly chewed the roof off the house.
For a small dog, he could leap almost to the top of the sliding glass dog[door ]. He seemed to feel his calling in life was to make sure no one, other than family[ comma after family ] felt welcome on our home.
"Please, somebody! Get him off", she pleaded. "He's gonna' [ delete this apostrophe ] bite me."
If we dared dress up to go out, we better stay inside, because he would growl threateningly at us, [ no comma ] if we came near him.
This dog's lifespan lasted eighteen years, and other than my husband and I, [ me ] who fed and cared for him, he only made one friend.
After my mom died, my dad came to live with us. We brought Dad into the house, [no comma ] in his wheelchair. Kokomo didn't do his usual jumping and snarling act. He sat calmly,[ no comma ] looking at Dad. He actually wagged his tail and looked as though he was smiling.
"What a beautiful dog," Dad said. "Can he come inside?"
Caustically, [ Cautiously, ] I slid the door back, and Kokomo came inside and sat by Dad's knee. Dad reached down and patted him, and he laid his head against Dad leg. For the rest of Dad's life, he had a friend. Miracles do happen.
~~~
Donâ??t you think heâ??s pretty? [add space after question mark ]Heâ??s a spitz. Weâ??ve had him since he was a puppy.â??
Occasionally, we let him inside, but invariable [ invariably ] he'd steal a
shoe
Caustiously, I slid [ Cautiously ]
.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for the review and the nice comments.
I really appreciate the help you have given me with punctuation and other corrections. I think I've made them all.
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Thank you for being gracious with my suggestions. I only wanted to help.
Comment from Bobby Cunningham
This is a very lovely story that we really enjoyed reading. It is a very good contest entry. We feel bad about the four star review, however there are too many gramatical errors and typos. This definitely needs editing. First Promptly chewe the roof... Forgot the D. Secondly He steal a shoe... Should be He'd. Third sliding glass dog. Should be door. Fourth He seemed to feel he'd his calling in life... The He'd shouldn't be there. It really is a lovely write and will flow effortlessly once these changes are made. Best of luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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This is a very lovely story that we really enjoyed reading. It is a very good contest entry. We feel bad about the four star review, however there are too many gramatical errors and typos. This definitely needs editing. First Promptly chewe the roof... Forgot the D. Secondly He steal a shoe... Should be He'd. Third sliding glass dog. Should be door. Fourth He seemed to feel he'd his calling in life... The He'd shouldn't be there. It really is a lovely write and will flow effortlessly once these changes are made. Best of luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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Thank;you for the review and comments I just got through reading over it and I think I was probably correcting those things while you were reading. Ir got posted before I was finished.
