When There Were People
Ghost Story contest entry2 total reviews
Comment from CandySoda777
This has potential to be a good story, except there's no story in it! Some parts are too sudden and needs some work. The ending is a bit rough and doesn't tie everything together nicely. I don't understand why this is a nightmare, or why he is seeing these things. I really don't like giving negative reviews. :( Give this story some work and it could be much better!
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2020
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This has potential to be a good story, except there's no story in it! Some parts are too sudden and needs some work. The ending is a bit rough and doesn't tie everything together nicely. I don't understand why this is a nightmare, or why he is seeing these things. I really don't like giving negative reviews. :( Give this story some work and it could be much better!
Comment Written 04-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2020
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Thanks!
Comment from humpwhistle
Well, that takes COVID to the extreme. Do ghosts actually eat at restaurants?
Best of luck with the voters.
Peace, Lee
the ghosts he thought that was having a good time.--'were', not 'was'.
he sees the ghosts appearing and are having fun.--maybe you don't need 'are' in this sentence.
They were playing on the beach.--you've changed tenses. 'Were' should be 'are' if you want to stay in present tense.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2020
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Well, that takes COVID to the extreme. Do ghosts actually eat at restaurants?
Best of luck with the voters.
Peace, Lee
the ghosts he thought that was having a good time.--'were', not 'was'.
he sees the ghosts appearing and are having fun.--maybe you don't need 'are' in this sentence.
They were playing on the beach.--you've changed tenses. 'Were' should be 'are' if you want to stay in present tense.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2020
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Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed my story!
