Mysteries Of The Deep
Its secrets it will keep22 total reviews
Comment from equestrik
I like the feel and rhythm of this sonnet and enjoyed the story as well. I am intrigued by the sea and its mysteries. This picture goes very well with your writing and enhances the feel of it.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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I like the feel and rhythm of this sonnet and enjoyed the story as well. I am intrigued by the sea and its mysteries. This picture goes very well with your writing and enhances the feel of it.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Thank you for this very nice review. :))
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
A beautiful English sonnet. The sea bottom hides still so much secrets!
You have a typo in the most beautiful line of the poem:
"No sense of time, of who they are or were (not: where)
nor of the parts they played in epic wrecks.
I loved it!
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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A beautiful English sonnet. The sea bottom hides still so much secrets!
You have a typo in the most beautiful line of the poem:
"No sense of time, of who they are or were (not: where)
nor of the parts they played in epic wrecks.
I loved it!
Comment Written 25-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Thank you for this lovely review. I actually meant to say where because many spirits don't understand where they are, only believing that nothing has changed and they still walk among the living. I'm so glad you liked it. :)
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Oh. Sorry I misunderstood. Welcome to the review!
Comment from pome lover
well that is definitely a 6 in my book! I read it out loud and loved it.
Your wording is perfect, as is your form.
I especially love the first verse and last two lines.
This should be in a book of poems. Have you put together a collection?
Katharine - pome lover
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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well that is definitely a 6 in my book! I read it out loud and loved it.
Your wording is perfect, as is your form.
I especially love the first verse and last two lines.
This should be in a book of poems. Have you put together a collection?
Katharine - pome lover
Comment Written 25-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Thank you for your kind words, I'm so glad you like it. I appreciate this wonderful 6 star review. :)
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you're welcome
Comment from lightink
This is a beautiful sonnet, a mix of somber imagery and deeper thoughts.
The opening line pulls in the reader right away - 'linger long' sounds beautiful. You set the scene with an effective mix of mythology and reality (dead sailors).
The second stanza starts out trochaic...
If you intend to make it fully iambic, you could try:
Forgotten sailboats'/vessels' hulls are cradled there...
Or something like that.
The ghost crew description is amazing, especially:
"No sense of time, of who they are or where,"
Also, I admire these similar lines in stanza 3:
"Lost in a place that has no memory,
protected through the ages, safe and sound."
The closing lines are perfect, especially the mention of dreams being born there, too.
I'd recommend a slightly different punctuation, because the two lines are not two full sentences each:
"A place where dreams are born but also die (-)
as timeless as the mountains and the sky."
Wonderful entry! Good luck at the voting booth!
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
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This is a beautiful sonnet, a mix of somber imagery and deeper thoughts.
The opening line pulls in the reader right away - 'linger long' sounds beautiful. You set the scene with an effective mix of mythology and reality (dead sailors).
The second stanza starts out trochaic...
If you intend to make it fully iambic, you could try:
Forgotten sailboats'/vessels' hulls are cradled there...
Or something like that.
The ghost crew description is amazing, especially:
"No sense of time, of who they are or where,"
Also, I admire these similar lines in stanza 3:
"Lost in a place that has no memory,
protected through the ages, safe and sound."
The closing lines are perfect, especially the mention of dreams being born there, too.
I'd recommend a slightly different punctuation, because the two lines are not two full sentences each:
"A place where dreams are born but also die (-)
as timeless as the mountains and the sky."
Wonderful entry! Good luck at the voting booth!
Comment Written 24-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
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Thank you so much for this great review. :)
Comment from roof35
I am not really qualified to rate a sonnet's format as I am no poet. However, I can say I think your words deserve five stars. This is very nicely done.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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I am not really qualified to rate a sonnet's format as I am no poet. However, I can say I think your words deserve five stars. This is very nicely done.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Thank you, that's very kind of you. :)
Comment from H. Darwin Reeves
I appreciate your description of the secrets of the seas keep. Living on one of the Great Lakes, there always discoveries being made that leave more questions than the answer. The third stanza stands out for me, "buried treasures waiting to be found." Thanks for posting.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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I appreciate your description of the secrets of the seas keep. Living on one of the Great Lakes, there always discoveries being made that leave more questions than the answer. The third stanza stands out for me, "buried treasures waiting to be found." Thanks for posting.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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I live on a great lake Too! Lake Superior is next to Duluth mn, my home now. It's sometimes called an inland sea, it inspires me. Thank you for reading.
Comment from Karen Estep
well done, my friend. I feel you captured my interest in the first paragraph with the God Poseidon. Strong image there. Your graphic fit your writing perfectly. Good job!
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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well done, my friend. I feel you captured my interest in the first paragraph with the God Poseidon. Strong image there. Your graphic fit your writing perfectly. Good job!
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Thank you for this wonderful review. :)
Comment from Bobby Cunningham
This is truly an exceptional poem that you penned here. Everything is perfect, the picture accompanying this, the sea green background color, the rhyming and the consistent syllable count all come together for an impeccable presentation. Have a wonderful day.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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This is truly an exceptional poem that you penned here. Everything is perfect, the picture accompanying this, the sea green background color, the rhyming and the consistent syllable count all come together for an impeccable presentation. Have a wonderful day.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Thank you for this wonderful review and the 6 stars. It's the second sonnet I've written and I've fallen in love with this form of poetry. Thanks again for your kind words.
Comment from Eternal Muse
Oh, this is a beautiful entry in this contest. You use both nautical and Greek mythology imagery very effectively. Excellent use of iambic pentameter. I enjoyed your picture of a sunk ship which compliments your words. Great artistic presentation.
I think, in the line below you meant for your letter to be a small "a" and you have an "l" instead of an "i":
His mermaids through the ages sIng their song,
This should do extremely well in the contest, and, knowing your luck with contests, even be the winner.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Oh, this is a beautiful entry in this contest. You use both nautical and Greek mythology imagery very effectively. Excellent use of iambic pentameter. I enjoyed your picture of a sunk ship which compliments your words. Great artistic presentation.
I think, in the line below you meant for your letter to be a small "a" and you have an "l" instead of an "i":
His mermaids through the ages sIng their song,
This should do extremely well in the contest, and, knowing your luck with contests, even be the winner.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Thank you for pointing out those errors, I fixed them. I appreciate the help and your kind words. :)
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It's only one small nit, the poem is amazing! I predict for it for win.
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There are some people on the site that have extreme luck with contests. You seem to be one of those people. I remember the first sonnet you wrote won a sonnet contest, and there were some other wins. You have a knack with contests (smile). Or a lucky touch. It's a gift.
Comment from trimple
Hello there, Boogienights
I have some strong competition with this fine sonnet of yours. I should have read this before I took it upon myself to join. :)
You take us down to the ocean's bed and conjure up, quite masterfully, the fate of lost sailors having lost their lives in epic battles.
Your meter is fine and the rhyming is spot on!
I wish you luck my friend.
kind regards
trimple
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Hello there, Boogienights
I have some strong competition with this fine sonnet of yours. I should have read this before I took it upon myself to join. :)
You take us down to the ocean's bed and conjure up, quite masterfully, the fate of lost sailors having lost their lives in epic battles.
Your meter is fine and the rhyming is spot on!
I wish you luck my friend.
kind regards
trimple
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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I read your entry and it's unique and wonderful. I think I'm the one who has competition. I used to be a nursing assistant for many years, so I understand what you mean. I'm not paralyzed, but I am limited in my walking ability and in the activities I can do, so my imagination comes into play quite often. Thanks for sharing your creativity.
