An Accomplishment of Love
(459 words) Caring for my elderly father.17 total reviews
Comment from lightink
Congratulations on winning the contest! This is such a moving piece! It's so rare that someone offers this lever of care and attunement in the last few years of a parent. Your big heart was just shining through! Thank you for sharing!
My grandma lived with us in her final years but she was very depressed and my mom was having a very hard time - but we tried. I wouldn't change anything about that time.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
  |
Congratulations on winning the contest! This is such a moving piece! It's so rare that someone offers this lever of care and attunement in the last few years of a parent. Your big heart was just shining through! Thank you for sharing!
My grandma lived with us in her final years but she was very depressed and my mom was having a very hard time - but we tried. I wouldn't change anything about that time.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
-
Thank you for your warm congratulations. I appreciate your kind comments. You will know from personal experience that it is a challenging thing to undertake... but worthwhile
-
I very much hope that I can do it for my mom. She definitely deserves it. My parents divorced and my dad has a Young enough wife to take care if all this.
I hope things settled in a good way for you after the divorce, too.
Warmly,
J
-
It's nice to know you appreciate your mom... a lot of people just would not make the necessary adjustments. Sounds like your dad did the classic thing of finding a younger woman.
I did not find a lasting love since I divorced and I don't have any children, so while things did settle down for me they didn't turn out as i'd hoped.
-
Oh, it's more complex than that, he had 5 wives! But it looks like the 5th worked out. My mom was the second and they divorced when I was 2 - so pretty much raised only by my mom. We are still pretty close.
I'm sorry it turned out different than what you hoped. I have the feeling that you are quite a radiant force of love out in the world regardless!
-
Wow - he must have to pay a lot of alimony.
I was so close to my father because Mum died when I was a teenager.
I try to shine my lovelight when I can.
-
LOL! Not in Hungary... That's where I'm from. Actually, the Child support was the same amount for 16 years. My mom didn't want to challenge it, partially to make sure that he wouldn't challenge her full custody...
Have a wonderful night! See you around!
Warmly,
Jyoti
-
This site certainly is international! It's (1.15pm on Wednesday afternoon here in NZ.)
-
Oops! Sorry! Have a good night in about 8-9 hours! ;)
-
Thank you!
It looks like it is about 3.30am where you are? You are a night owl.
-
No, it's 9pm, Minnesota... :)
Comment from RodG
This is a heart-warming story, Lisa, that shows dreams can come true with sacrifice and devotion. I like how you clarify what the obstacles were to your getting Dad to come to you. This story should be an impetus to anyone who's thinking of taking in an elderly parent. It certain deserves the red ribbon. Congrats! Rod
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
|
This is a heart-warming story, Lisa, that shows dreams can come true with sacrifice and devotion. I like how you clarify what the obstacles were to your getting Dad to come to you. This story should be an impetus to anyone who's thinking of taking in an elderly parent. It certain deserves the red ribbon. Congrats! Rod
Comment Written 18-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
-
Thank you for your generous comments, Rod.
If I wrote all the details of the logistical problems associated with the move and some of the dramas that happened due to Dad's Alzheimer's I think it would put most people off the idea.
-
The problems of living with an Alzheimer?s victim is definitely grist for another essay. Rod
-
I did write about it once and a reviewer told me off for mocking the illness, but when I explained it came from a place of love and understanding he backed off quickly.
Comment from Bill Schott
This was a great story that we all would like to be true for our relationships with our parents. We were able to do this with my wife's mother and it did us all good. You were a good daughter and you brother a dipshit. So glad you could do your father such a kindness.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
 |
This was a great story that we all would like to be true for our relationships with our parents. We were able to do this with my wife's mother and it did us all good. You were a good daughter and you brother a dipshit. So glad you could do your father such a kindness.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
-
Thanks for your warm remarks, Bill. You and your wife did a kindness too, so you understand entirely.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written story about the dream of taking care of a loving father in his golden years is a humble dream that has more faith than all the money and treasures of the earth.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
|
A very well-written story about the dream of taking care of a loving father in his golden years is a humble dream that has more faith than all the money and treasures of the earth.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
-
Thank you for these caring and wise words.
Comment from Benshu-bookgai
Choosing to completely restructure one's life to accommodate an aging parent is a commendable choice, and watching out for your father when everything around you seems to have deteriorated I imagine gave you an immense feeling of pride and satisfaction.
Having grown up internationally myself and being very intimately familiar with the rigors of uprooting to lands unknown, I was a bit saddened that the strategic nightmare of the moving process was glossed over so much--if he only brought his pets, some literature, and some paint and photo gear, all things considered he sounds like he was readily mobile, despite having been in the same spot for almost half a century.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
|
Choosing to completely restructure one's life to accommodate an aging parent is a commendable choice, and watching out for your father when everything around you seems to have deteriorated I imagine gave you an immense feeling of pride and satisfaction.
Having grown up internationally myself and being very intimately familiar with the rigors of uprooting to lands unknown, I was a bit saddened that the strategic nightmare of the moving process was glossed over so much--if he only brought his pets, some literature, and some paint and photo gear, all things considered he sounds like he was readily mobile, despite having been in the same spot for almost half a century.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
-
The "strategic nightmare" would have taken up too much of the story! Dad's house was stuffed full of life's accumulations, as was my own home so I discouraged him from bring any furniture for instance. I had to go help him clear up for a couple of extended visits; also arranging pet quarantine when the animals arrived, and finding space for all his books, music LPs, and collection of photo slides, and setting up a darkroom for his enlarger. It was not an easy move at all... I feel tired just thinking about it now! The only easy part was that Dad decided very quickly to come and live with us - I did not have to work hard to persuade him. He was a very independent man and that showed me just how lonely he had been.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A very nice photo and
beautiful story.
-You moved me with each
word, sentence, and paragraph.
-It is hard to come up with the
right word, but I greatly admire
you for what you did.
-How wonderful it must have been
for your father to be with someone
who loved him and cared for him.
-It sounds like you had to deal with
a lot of stress from your brother, but
I give you a lot of credit for putting
your father first.
-Even in declining health, it had to
have meant a lot in his heart that
you cared, and he was safe and loved.
-I can't say enough good things about
this story, and I look forward to
knowing who you are.
-Good luck in the contest;
you deserve it.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
|
-A very nice photo and
beautiful story.
-You moved me with each
word, sentence, and paragraph.
-It is hard to come up with the
right word, but I greatly admire
you for what you did.
-How wonderful it must have been
for your father to be with someone
who loved him and cared for him.
-It sounds like you had to deal with
a lot of stress from your brother, but
I give you a lot of credit for putting
your father first.
-Even in declining health, it had to
have meant a lot in his heart that
you cared, and he was safe and loved.
-I can't say enough good things about
this story, and I look forward to
knowing who you are.
-Good luck in the contest;
you deserve it.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
-
Your response to my story warms my heart. Such generous comments. I felt I had a duty of love to perform for my father - duty being an honour. I honoured my father's love for me by loving and caring for him. (Another aspect of this story i did not write about was that Dad expressed a worry that he would lose me back to my birth mother or birth family if/when I found out who they were. I wanted my continued presence in Dad's life to reassure him of my love. I waited until after he died before I made any inquiries about finding my birth mother.)
-
You are very welcome and deserving of the comments. Thank you for sharing in your reply. I think you both must be at peace with the decision you made.
-
:)
Comment from mermaids
I commend you for taking care of your father. I took care of both of my parents. I found your story interesting and I could relate. I lived with my parents and it was a challenge juggling work and taking care of them. This is an excellent entry for this contest.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
|
I commend you for taking care of your father. I took care of both of my parents. I found your story interesting and I could relate. I lived with my parents and it was a challenge juggling work and taking care of them. This is an excellent entry for this contest.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
-
Thank you for your complimentary review. Your own accomplishment of love with looking after your parents is significant. You understand the challenges.
Comment from writer723
I found your entry very touching. It moved me in an emotional way. It sounds like you loved your father very much and provided the best care possible for him. I'm sure he appreciated your efforts and loved you dearly. Your words drew me in, reminding me of how a lot of kindness still exists in the world.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
|
I found your entry very touching. It moved me in an emotional way. It sounds like you loved your father very much and provided the best care possible for him. I'm sure he appreciated your efforts and loved you dearly. Your words drew me in, reminding me of how a lot of kindness still exists in the world.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
-
Thank you for these comments. I appreciate your review. Kindness is such an essential quality, especially in times of difficulty.
Comment from Valerie Fish
This is so heart warming to read; 'an accomplishment of love' has to be the greatest accomplishment of all.
Spookily , I have just a few minutes ago submitted a true story about my dying father and my brother ( though not quite in the same vein).
You should be proud, your father must have been so proud of you ( and to usticks and get on a plane at his age and state of health is a great accomplishment too.)
You're earned one of my rare six stars, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
|
This is so heart warming to read; 'an accomplishment of love' has to be the greatest accomplishment of all.
Spookily , I have just a few minutes ago submitted a true story about my dying father and my brother ( though not quite in the same vein).
You should be proud, your father must have been so proud of you ( and to usticks and get on a plane at his age and state of health is a great accomplishment too.)
You're earned one of my rare six stars, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
-
Thank you so much for releasing your grip on a sixer! I really appreciate that. It is hard to write of such personal matters but my father is never far from my thoughts and when i saw the contest prompt this memory bubbled to the surface as an accomplishment I was proud of being able to do for him.
I will check out your story.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, anonymous,
Great entry for the Your Biggest Dream writing prompt contest. You followed the rules of the contest with your personal dream autobiography. Nice picture.
You should be proud, the way you took care of your dad in his old age was a very kind gesture.
Good luck!
|
Hello, anonymous,
Great entry for the Your Biggest Dream writing prompt contest. You followed the rules of the contest with your personal dream autobiography. Nice picture.
You should be proud, the way you took care of your dad in his old age was a very kind gesture.
Good luck!
Comment Written 17-Aug-2020
