With Me
a poem12 total reviews
Comment from A. Fortier
Bill Schott,
Wow. What a tidy, dark arc this short poem has. Well done! It's well-written and entertaining. Evocative of new love and the slippery slope it can take. Thank you for sharing.
-A.Fortier
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Bill Schott,
Wow. What a tidy, dark arc this short poem has. Well done! It's well-written and entertaining. Evocative of new love and the slippery slope it can take. Thank you for sharing.
-A.Fortier
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Thanks, A, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Chelle_GH
Stunned with the ending but you were able to conveyed it as I got alarmed with it. Excellently written as you were able to convey your intent to the reader.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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Stunned with the ending but you were able to conveyed it as I got alarmed with it. Excellently written as you were able to convey your intent to the reader.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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Thanks, Chelle
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I did not expect to get hit between the eyes!
Your poem does not leave this reader shocked but numb.
I expect that is what you went for and did it very well.
Very well written. It is one that sticks with you because just listening to local news; it has a reality.
Well done Sir.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2020
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I did not expect to get hit between the eyes!
Your poem does not leave this reader shocked but numb.
I expect that is what you went for and did it very well.
Very well written. It is one that sticks with you because just listening to local news; it has a reality.
Well done Sir.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2020
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Thank you, Mary
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Oh, murder suicide. If I can't have you, no one can. I love you so much I want to take you down with me. This poem speaks of the epitomy of unhealthy co-dependency and dependency. It is clearly a cautionary tale. Well thought out.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Oh, murder suicide. If I can't have you, no one can. I love you so much I want to take you down with me. This poem speaks of the epitomy of unhealthy co-dependency and dependency. It is clearly a cautionary tale. Well thought out.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Thank you, Liz
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is an extremely dark piece of writing. Not content with planning to commit suicide, the author intends to take his beloved along on that one way trip with him. By sheer audacity and depth of expression, it all works very well. I enjoyed it a great deal.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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This is an extremely dark piece of writing. Not content with planning to commit suicide, the author intends to take his beloved along on that one way trip with him. By sheer audacity and depth of expression, it all works very well. I enjoyed it a great deal.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Thank you, Katherine.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, anonymous,
Nice entry for the Repetition Poem writing prompt contest. You followed the rules of repeating a line three times or more.
Your topic of crime of passion is eerie.. well done.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Hello, anonymous,
Nice entry for the Repetition Poem writing prompt contest. You followed the rules of repeating a line three times or more.
Your topic of crime of passion is eerie.. well done.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Thank you, GBR
Comment from Beverly A McBride
Wow. What a sentiment. I wish this was not a common occurrence, but I believe it is. The telling phrase, "I'll use a knife to end my life and I'm taking you with me," is sadly, all too common. Users can't be around other users for this and many other reasons. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Wow. What a sentiment. I wish this was not a common occurrence, but I believe it is. The telling phrase, "I'll use a knife to end my life and I'm taking you with me," is sadly, all too common. Users can't be around other users for this and many other reasons. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Thanks, Beverly
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written repitition poem about young lovers that find life is much harder than they thought. One started using drugs and have suicide thoughts but doesn't want to go without his lover.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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A very well-written repitition poem about young lovers that find life is much harder than they thought. One started using drugs and have suicide thoughts but doesn't want to go without his lover.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Kids, right?
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is quite a shocking write of manipulation and control, ending in tragedy here. A well rhymed and poignant powerful write, very sad too, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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This is quite a shocking write of manipulation and control, ending in tragedy here. A well rhymed and poignant powerful write, very sad too, love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Thank you, Dolly
Comment from LisaMay
This is grippingly awful... an inside view of what can happen to the 'cool' kids at school who get into drugs for heightened experiences, addicted to highs then crashing to the lows of murder and suicide. Chilling.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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This is grippingly awful... an inside view of what can happen to the 'cool' kids at school who get into drugs for heightened experiences, addicted to highs then crashing to the lows of murder and suicide. Chilling.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Thank you, Lisa. A bit dark, I know.
