Prayers for Fanstory Family
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "For Yvonne"Prose and Poem Prayers for Fanstorians
34 total reviews
Comment from juliaSjames
A lovely sonnet, Sandra. It captures grief, anger and solace. The words resonate as written from your heart in imagery we all can understand, and feelings we all can imagine if not share.
God bless Yvonne. May her son rest in eternal peace
Stay safe out there
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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A lovely sonnet, Sandra. It captures grief, anger and solace. The words resonate as written from your heart in imagery we all can understand, and feelings we all can imagine if not share.
God bless Yvonne. May her son rest in eternal peace
Stay safe out there
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 24-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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I echo your blessing, Jula. I can't begin to imagine the pain of losing a child. Thank you for your kind words for my poem, my friend. Warm hugs. Sandra xx
Comment from Ulla
Sandra, this is beautiful, and it brought tears to my eyes. I'm sure Yvonne will find much comfort in your heartfelt words. She is going through a very difficult time right now. Ulla xxx
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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Sandra, this is beautiful, and it brought tears to my eyes. I'm sure Yvonne will find much comfort in your heartfelt words. She is going through a very difficult time right now. Ulla xxx
Comment Written 24-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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Thank you, Ulla. I hope she knows how much we all grief with her. To lose a child is the worst loss of all. Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xx
Comment from royowen
This is a lovely tribute Sandra, of course your a great writer, so naturally you have that ability to communicate the gospel And incumbent feelings so beaUtifully, well done my friend, this is such a gentle and tender offering, she will hopefully, be comforted, God needs to touch her, as He did with Horatio Spafford of "it is well with my soul" fame. Well done Sandra, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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This is a lovely tribute Sandra, of course your a great writer, so naturally you have that ability to communicate the gospel And incumbent feelings so beaUtifully, well done my friend, this is such a gentle and tender offering, she will hopefully, be comforted, God needs to touch her, as He did with Horatio Spafford of "it is well with my soul" fame. Well done Sandra, blessings Roy
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Comment Written 24-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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I'm sure God is reaching out to her, and hopefully she will see this soon. In grief we feel and think such sad, and angry thoughts. It's natural. I've been there, and it did take a while, but God doesn't think in minutes and hours, He is just there for when we can see through that mist again. I'm glad you think my words will help, Roy. I don't know how I would cope with a loss of a child. Warm hugs. Sandra xx
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You are wise in God Sandra.
Comment from Pantygynt
An ideal sonnet just right in the circumstances. One suggestion: your line,
'When you search through unanswered mysteries,
And sadness serves to create moistened eyes,'
feels slightly odd to me as I want to stress the 'search' rather than the 'you' in the first of those lines and the second syllable of 'create' in the second and the metre won't let me.
Perhaps this might serve as a solution.
'When searching through unanswered mysteries,
And sadness serves, creating moistened eyes,'
The rest is bang on the metre.
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reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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An ideal sonnet just right in the circumstances. One suggestion: your line,
'When you search through unanswered mysteries,
And sadness serves to create moistened eyes,'
feels slightly odd to me as I want to stress the 'search' rather than the 'you' in the first of those lines and the second syllable of 'create' in the second and the metre won't let me.
Perhaps this might serve as a solution.
'When searching through unanswered mysteries,
And sadness serves, creating moistened eyes,'
The rest is bang on the metre.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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Thank you, Jim. I wasn't too happy with those lines, so I'll take your help gratefully. Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xx
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When uncomfortable with metre, it is like a stone in the shoe. It has to be attended to. My tip is highlight the words/syllables you want to stress because of their meaning or natural stress and play with the line until they fall on the metrically stressed places. This is what I did in order to come up with my piece of advice to you here.
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That's a really good tip. I can take ages working on my metre, you managed to put it right, so I truly am grateful. Highlight pen coming out now!! xxx
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The mistake people make is to keep reading it with misplaced stress until that feels almost comfortable but it isn't!
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That is so right. After I posted it last night, I closed up my internet and had an early night. I've not been sleeping well. Anyway, when I read it this morning, I saw it the way you did. Sometimes you do need to leave it till later.
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Yup!
