The Hair Clip
5/7/5 Senryu for Contest19 total reviews
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
I am not friends with senryus and never get them right, but this one pulled the emotion out of me kicking and screaming all the way. Absolutely emotional
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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I am not friends with senryus and never get them right, but this one pulled the emotion out of me kicking and screaming all the way. Absolutely emotional
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from Rashanna Popoola
This poem was on point. I like how the writer expressed that the bed which he & his love use to share was frigid, and that her hair clip jabs him. I thought that was a uniquely way of reminding him of her lying there. Great Job Writer!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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This poem was on point. I like how the writer expressed that the bed which he & his love use to share was frigid, and that her hair clip jabs him. I thought that was a uniquely way of reminding him of her lying there. Great Job Writer!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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Hello, thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a fine thought for the Senryu Poetry writing prompt entry. Sometime short thoughts can really hit the spot, touch our heart, and even be encouraging. Well done!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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This is a fine thought for the Senryu Poetry writing prompt entry. Sometime short thoughts can really hit the spot, touch our heart, and even be encouraging. Well done!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
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You're very welcome!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written scary Senryu the partner who passed away seems to left a souvenir in the bed they shared and was discovered the night after the funeral.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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A very well-written scary Senryu the partner who passed away seems to left a souvenir in the bed they shared and was discovered the night after the funeral.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much for your review
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This is a beautiful poem with two very nice white roses. The first rose is dead but the second one is alive in heaven. Also "The hair clip jabs me" implied that the person was definitely alive again.
Exceptionally written.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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This is a beautiful poem with two very nice white roses. The first rose is dead but the second one is alive in heaven. Also "The hair clip jabs me" implied that the person was definitely alive again.
Exceptionally written.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words. I appreciate the six stars!
Comment from lyenochka
Dramatic and poignant way to capture the pain of loss from the frigid sheets to the hairpin jabbing reinforcing the pain with a physical reminder. Hope you win the contest!
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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Dramatic and poignant way to capture the pain of loss from the frigid sheets to the hairpin jabbing reinforcing the pain with a physical reminder. Hope you win the contest!
Comment Written 25-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much, Helen. I hope so...I love writing haiku and senryu.
Comment from LisaMay
... and I bet you burst into tears - not from the pain of a hairclip jab, but because simple reminders of another's presence underline their absence. Your poem is a simple yet profound observation of the minutiae of coupledom - grief, loss, and what is left behind.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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... and I bet you burst into tears - not from the pain of a hairclip jab, but because simple reminders of another's presence underline their absence. Your poem is a simple yet profound observation of the minutiae of coupledom - grief, loss, and what is left behind.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much, Lisa. :) May you have a wonderful weekend.
Comment from sammielwf
I loved this, because I know this! I know this because, I lived this!
So few words- but he mind image they create is absolutely palpable.
Enough said dear poet. Enough said,
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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I loved this, because I know this! I know this because, I lived this!
So few words- but he mind image they create is absolutely palpable.
Enough said dear poet. Enough said,
Comment Written 25-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much for your outstanding review and kind words. Thank you very much for the six stars!
Comment from Bill Schott
This senryu, The Hair Clip, presented as a 5-7-5, Reminds me of the plot to A Rose for Emily with a gender swap. Love never dies, though the bodies do. Arrrg!
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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This senryu, The Hair Clip, presented as a 5-7-5, Reminds me of the plot to A Rose for Emily with a gender swap. Love never dies, though the bodies do. Arrrg!
Comment Written 25-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Comment from palmart
Good writing that conveys not only one specific message but the cold atmosphere that can be felt surrounding the funeral. Paper clip brings a body sensation that makes contrast with such a ghostly description...
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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Good writing that conveys not only one specific message but the cold atmosphere that can be felt surrounding the funeral. Paper clip brings a body sensation that makes contrast with such a ghostly description...
Comment Written 25-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
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You`re welcome!
