Remembering Yesterday
Viewing comments for Chapter 65 "Niagara Falls"A widow's journey into her relationship with her
15 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Beth,
I am really enjoying this series. I am just so proud of you for being so diligent to get this done! I KNOW this will be a precious treasure for your entire family. And yourself!
Some notes:
1.) This came as a shock to me because, you had never really been fond of going
--> no comma
2.) I needed something interesting we could do every/day to keep the kids happy
3.) I decided we should drive to my parent(s') home in Mississippi
4.) because that would cut several hours off the vacation to beg(i)n with.
--> that sounds like a negative - that it takes hours OFF your vacation time. Can you reword?
5.) We took our time the first day, switching drivers
--> This would actually be Saturday, right?
--> We took our time as we headed out on Saturday, switching...
6.) and puzzle books to help the kids not get too bored.
--> and puzzle books to help (ensure the kids didn't get bored).
--> just a little less awkward way of saying it
7.) I scheduled that for our first main day of travel. By Sunday morning, we
--> but the first day of travel was Saturday, wasn't it? perhaps -
--> I scheduled that for our first (full day of vacation experiences).
8.) but the frosty feeling (lingering) in our room had nothing to do with the air conditioning.
9.) The falls were much prettier from that side.
--> you've really already said that
10.) planned for there but since we('d) gotten off schedule,
11.) Amish people before, and we (were) shocked to realize how large
Thanks so much - hope this helps!
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2020
  |
Beth,
I am really enjoying this series. I am just so proud of you for being so diligent to get this done! I KNOW this will be a precious treasure for your entire family. And yourself!
Some notes:
1.) This came as a shock to me because, you had never really been fond of going
--> no comma
2.) I needed something interesting we could do every/day to keep the kids happy
3.) I decided we should drive to my parent(s') home in Mississippi
4.) because that would cut several hours off the vacation to beg(i)n with.
--> that sounds like a negative - that it takes hours OFF your vacation time. Can you reword?
5.) We took our time the first day, switching drivers
--> This would actually be Saturday, right?
--> We took our time as we headed out on Saturday, switching...
6.) and puzzle books to help the kids not get too bored.
--> and puzzle books to help (ensure the kids didn't get bored).
--> just a little less awkward way of saying it
7.) I scheduled that for our first main day of travel. By Sunday morning, we
--> but the first day of travel was Saturday, wasn't it? perhaps -
--> I scheduled that for our first (full day of vacation experiences).
8.) but the frosty feeling (lingering) in our room had nothing to do with the air conditioning.
9.) The falls were much prettier from that side.
--> you've really already said that
10.) planned for there but since we('d) gotten off schedule,
11.) Amish people before, and we (were) shocked to realize how large
Thanks so much - hope this helps!
Comment Written 29-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2020
-
Thank you so much for the review and for all trouble your took to help me improve the story. It was very helpful.
Beth
Comment from nancy_e_davis
It must have been more stressful for you with your husband behaving like that. It sounds like an interesting trip. My Husband loved to take weekend trips and poke around close to home but any cross country trip was just that. Never even stopped to see the Grande Canyon. If it was from Illinois to Nevada or Nevada to Illinois it was drive till we were tired, sleep awhile in a motel and then drive the rest of the way. We did stop to eat a few times. LOL Good job with this chapter, Beth. Nancy:)
ð???ð???
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
|
It must have been more stressful for you with your husband behaving like that. It sounds like an interesting trip. My Husband loved to take weekend trips and poke around close to home but any cross country trip was just that. Never even stopped to see the Grande Canyon. If it was from Illinois to Nevada or Nevada to Illinois it was drive till we were tired, sleep awhile in a motel and then drive the rest of the way. We did stop to eat a few times. LOL Good job with this chapter, Beth. Nancy:)
ð???ð???
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
-
Thank you Nancy. I appreciate the review and comments. My husband was a mild mannered man most of the time. Vacations were an exception because he usually felt horrible after the first day of driving and when he didn't feel well he wasn't pleasant to be around. Having four children in a cramped up car didn't help either.
Beth
-
Oh, I understand the situation. Hugs.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
What an interesting post. I've been there, done that with five children in a van, so I understand the frustration to keep everyone happy and satisfied.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
|
What an interesting post. I've been there, done that with five children in a van, so I understand the frustration to keep everyone happy and satisfied.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
-
Thank you so much for the review Rebecca/ The next rrip was in the van and it was much easier because the kids could move around and wasn't locked into a small space. Still with five-I thought four was too many.
-
ha ha. Love your story.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Beth, I can't imagine how you travelled all that way and back in one week.
No wonder your husband was cranky. You say you can't imagine doing it for more than one week, but that is the problem. Not enough time to relax. I relate to the places you mention since my husband and four boys have taken trips to those places. I love the Blue Ridge Mountains and the country of the Amish. Here in Toronto, Canada, we visit the Falls often and I'm in agreement with you. The Canadian side is more spectacular.
You've done a great job creating the imagery of this trip.
NB:
almost ever overlook>> I think you mean 'every'
and was looking for someone>> was s/b were
farm county>> 'country'
Ralf xx
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
|
Beth, I can't imagine how you travelled all that way and back in one week.
No wonder your husband was cranky. You say you can't imagine doing it for more than one week, but that is the problem. Not enough time to relax. I relate to the places you mention since my husband and four boys have taken trips to those places. I love the Blue Ridge Mountains and the country of the Amish. Here in Toronto, Canada, we visit the Falls often and I'm in agreement with you. The Canadian side is more spectacular.
You've done a great job creating the imagery of this trip.
NB:
almost ever overlook>> I think you mean 'every'
and was looking for someone>> was s/b were
farm county>> 'country'
Ralf xx
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
-
Thank you so much for the review and the great comments. I also appreciate you noticing the typos. Canada is beautiful. That was the only time I've been on the Eastern side, but I love to go again. The Western side is spectacular with the Rocky Mountains.
Comment from Sankey
This was another grerat chapter. You are doing really well, just sorry I amot keeping up. Just a couple of spags through here. and starting to (complain)from being cooped
pulled into almost ever(y)
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
 |
This was another grerat chapter. You are doing really well, just sorry I amot keeping up. Just a couple of spags through here. and starting to (complain)from being cooped
pulled into almost ever(y)
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
-
Thank you so much for the review and comment and especially for the six stars. I sent two notices on one of them but after they aren't paying anymore, I know you're busy doing other things.
Beth
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
As always, you really nail the narration and your cast of "characters. " This travelogue-from-hell and the discontent amongst the demonic crew is darkly humorous given my distance. Brings back dreadful memories! Fine work. Cheers. LIZ (When I was a kid in the 60s we went to Amish country--my folks pronounced it long A also!)
(once A car was driven IT auomatically; at a dealership [OMIT: which was priced low enough] that we could afford [OMIT: it]; it was the last Chargers s/b Charger ... ; but since [OMIT: comma] I'd learned ... ; because [OMIT: comma] you had ... ; do everyday s/b every day; it would be the first [OMIT: major highlightS; INSERT: point of interest--highlight mean THE high point] of our trip; they were starting to [????] from being cooped up)
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
|
As always, you really nail the narration and your cast of "characters. " This travelogue-from-hell and the discontent amongst the demonic crew is darkly humorous given my distance. Brings back dreadful memories! Fine work. Cheers. LIZ (When I was a kid in the 60s we went to Amish country--my folks pronounced it long A also!)
(once A car was driven IT auomatically; at a dealership [OMIT: which was priced low enough] that we could afford [OMIT: it]; it was the last Chargers s/b Charger ... ; but since [OMIT: comma] I'd learned ... ; because [OMIT: comma] you had ... ; do everyday s/b every day; it would be the first [OMIT: major highlightS; INSERT: point of interest--highlight mean THE high point] of our trip; they were starting to [????] from being cooped up)
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
-
Thank you for the review and your comments. There were so unforgettably bad moments on that trip. I really appreciate you helping me polish this chapter. I hope I fixed all of the spots that needed work.
Beth
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Beth, the content of this post makes it very different, from the others. The many comments about your Husband's moods and behavior predominate in this script, and for the first time he is portrayed for your posterity as more than just a man working to support the family.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
|
Dear Beth, the content of this post makes it very different, from the others. The many comments about your Husband's moods and behavior predominate in this script, and for the first time he is portrayed for your posterity as more than just a man working to support the family.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
-
Thank ;you so much for the review and comments. He was very mild mannered unless he was in pain which usually happened near the beginning of most of the trips we took. I'm trying to show all the facets of his personality.
Beth
Comment from Ben Colder
I drove a Greyhound Charter to the falls in 63, It would have been nice if you could have spent time driving the Queens's Hwy on the Canada side. The lights at night makes the falls beautiful.
Another good memory I can relate to.
Thanks for sharing. I never see any fault in your work. You need to slip up into the top five by late November. You should finish with a trophy if interested.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
|
I drove a Greyhound Charter to the falls in 63, It would have been nice if you could have spent time driving the Queens's Hwy on the Canada side. The lights at night makes the falls beautiful.
Another good memory I can relate to.
Thanks for sharing. I never see any fault in your work. You need to slip up into the top five by late November. You should finish with a trophy if interested.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
-
Thank you Chuck. I think you've done everything I've done and a whole lot more. I've been at number five for a while but I know you are about to catch up and pass me by
Beth
-
I am at a novel 60, 000 words but deciding to carry on until second part of the novel.
I have been a little under the weather and will try and bounce back. I need to get feeling better. I would like to see you win a trophy. I have won in the script before but nothing like that turns me on anymore.
Take care Beth.
-
I have no idea how many words, I'm on 67 chapters and I know it going to be too long for one book if I keep going. Probably about 15,000 words per Ch.
-
I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. I put you in my prayers. Beth
Comment from Mistydawn
It sounds like you and hubby are exact opposites when it comes to planning. My hubby and I are too. Only I'm the planner he's not. Not planning ahead gives me digestive issues. Hubby says I should live a little, I say I will once I get it all planned out, lol. Your story is well-written, very interesting start to finish. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
|
It sounds like you and hubby are exact opposites when it comes to planning. My hubby and I are too. Only I'm the planner he's not. Not planning ahead gives me digestive issues. Hubby says I should live a little, I say I will once I get it all planned out, lol. Your story is well-written, very interesting start to finish. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
-
Yes he was far more organized that I have ever been. Thank you for reading my story. I so glad you find it interesting.
Beth
Comment from Mary Vigasin
You have a correction to make: "on some of the trails around the cave, we and toured"
Other wise I enjoyed your family trip and the sites and the problems you met along the way.
I am glad that you are using your writing not only to bring your husband along with you again but to have your children getting to know you not only as parents but as humans with joys, sorrows, fun and aggravations. well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
 |
You have a correction to make: "on some of the trails around the cave, we and toured"
Other wise I enjoyed your family trip and the sites and the problems you met along the way.
I am glad that you are using your writing not only to bring your husband along with you again but to have your children getting to know you not only as parents but as humans with joys, sorrows, fun and aggravations. well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
-
Thank you so much, Mary, for the review and the comments and for noticing where I made an error. I have fixed it. I appreciate you stopping by.
Beth
