senryu (slick surface so smooth)
Watch out for lying worms; appearances can be misleading.16 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This senryu, Slick Surface So Smooth, presented as a 5-7-5, provides that the outside appearance may hide the true insides which are ap-ple-ing.
This senryu, Slick Surface So Smooth, presented as a 5-7-5, provides that the outside appearance may hide the true insides which are ap-ple-ing.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2020
Comment from Mia Twysted
This says to me you do not know what lies behind the curtain. Looks can be deceiving and before you dive in maybe you can take a moment to trely look at what you are getting yourself in to.
This says to me you do not know what lies behind the curtain. Looks can be deceiving and before you dive in maybe you can take a moment to trely look at what you are getting yourself in to.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2020
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello anonymous
Beautiful entry for the Write a Senryu writing prompt contest. Good syllable count and connection between lines. I like the presentation too. I like the apple metaphor. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Hello anonymous
Beautiful entry for the Write a Senryu writing prompt contest. Good syllable count and connection between lines. I like the presentation too. I like the apple metaphor. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2020
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a perfect entry for the Write a Senryu contest. It is easy to read and understand, and it says much in a few words. I enjoyed this!
This is a perfect entry for the Write a Senryu contest. It is easy to read and understand, and it says much in a few words. I enjoyed this!
Comment Written 06-Oct-2020
Comment from Melissa Russell Deur
I just finished reading Genesis 3 today, so this poem really spoke to me. The sibilance in the first line suggests the serpent's beguiling hisses. "Slick" is a great word for wily Satan. I love your last line: "rotten at the core." Good luck in the contest!
I just finished reading Genesis 3 today, so this poem really spoke to me. The sibilance in the first line suggests the serpent's beguiling hisses. "Slick" is a great word for wily Satan. I love your last line: "rotten at the core." Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
Comment from lyenochka
Great use of alliteration and allusion to the first couple's temptation by the fruit that was in the Garden from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. And then you end with a well known expression. Best wishes in the contest!
Great use of alliteration and allusion to the first couple's temptation by the fruit that was in the Garden from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. And then you end with a well known expression. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
Comment from equestrik
This is a very clever and thought provoking picture to go well with your well chosen words. This is a good write for the senryu contst. Best of luck to you.
This is a very clever and thought provoking picture to go well with your well chosen words. This is a good write for the senryu contst. Best of luck to you.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
I love the message conveyed in this. Temptation indeed can be not what we think it should be as you've so eloquently stated. Thanks for sharing this inspirational and well written work. Well done!
I love the message conveyed in this. Temptation indeed can be not what we think it should be as you've so eloquently stated. Thanks for sharing this inspirational and well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Senryu about feeling a smooth slick surface until we are tempted to bite into the Apple and find it is rotten at the core.
A very well-written Senryu about feeling a smooth slick surface until we are tempted to bite into the Apple and find it is rotten at the core.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
Comment from Earl Corp
Not everything, or everybody, is as it appears to be. This should do well in the Senyru contest. Good luck in the contest. Very nice job. Stay safe and stay healthy.
Not everything, or everybody, is as it appears to be. This should do well in the Senyru contest. Good luck in the contest. Very nice job. Stay safe and stay healthy.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020