Reviews from

senryu (slick surface so smooth)

Watch out for lying worms; appearances can be misleading.

16 total reviews 
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This senryu, Slick Surface So Smooth, presented as a 5-7-5, provides that the outside appearance may hide the true insides which are ap-ple-ing.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2020

Comment from Mia Twysted
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This says to me you do not know what lies behind the curtain. Looks can be deceiving and before you dive in maybe you can take a moment to trely look at what you are getting yourself in to.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2020

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello anonymous

Beautiful entry for the Write a Senryu writing prompt contest. Good syllable count and connection between lines. I like the presentation too. I like the apple metaphor. Well done. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2020

Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a perfect entry for the Write a Senryu contest. It is easy to read and understand, and it says much in a few words. I enjoyed this!

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2020

Comment from Melissa Russell Deur
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I just finished reading Genesis 3 today, so this poem really spoke to me. The sibilance in the first line suggests the serpent's beguiling hisses. "Slick" is a great word for wily Satan. I love your last line: "rotten at the core." Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2020

Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great use of alliteration and allusion to the first couple's temptation by the fruit that was in the Garden from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. And then you end with a well known expression. Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2020

Comment from equestrik
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very clever and thought provoking picture to go well with your well chosen words. This is a good write for the senryu contst. Best of luck to you.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2020

Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love the message conveyed in this. Temptation indeed can be not what we think it should be as you've so eloquently stated. Thanks for sharing this inspirational and well written work. Well done!

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2020

Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very well-written Senryu about feeling a smooth slick surface until we are tempted to bite into the Apple and find it is rotten at the core.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2020

Comment from Earl Corp
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Not everything, or everybody, is as it appears to be. This should do well in the Senyru contest. Good luck in the contest. Very nice job. Stay safe and stay healthy.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2020