| General Fiction posted November 2, 2022 | Chapters: |
...27 28 -29- 30... 
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flash fiction
A chapter in the book Random Rhyme and Petty Prose
Mrs. J
by Bill Schott
A woman pulled an SUV into the service station. She exited the vehicle and joined the manager in his office. She sat in a straight-back chair across a desk from the man who sat in a comfortable-looking swiveling office chair.
"Hello, Mrs. Johnson; my name is Roger."
"Hi, Roger. I was hoping to get my oil changed."
"Absolutely, Ms. Johnathon, but I'm afraid there is a larger issue to deal with here."
"Johnson."
"Yes, of course. I'm Roger. Now, Mrs. Joanston, we noticed as you drove in that your front end shimmied a bit."
"Oh?"
"Yes. We recommend that we check your tire wear and do a frontend alignment."
"Really?"
"Also, Nate, our lead mechanic. noted that your exhaust sounded as though you had a hole in the muffler. We'll need to replace that as there are some strict noise regulations coming down the pike in the near future. Fines, forfeitures, and all kinds of expensive legal issues could erupt from having an unmuffled muffler."
"Amazing. It's fortunate that I pulled in when I did."
"It's all right, Mrs. Jackson; we are here to make it all better."
"What do you think all this will cost?"
"Well, while we've been talking, I checked your credit, and you can charge the whole recovery."
"How much would that be?"
"Tires, on sale, eight hundred; balancing and recycling is extra, of course."
"Huh?"
"Front end alignment runs two hundred. We would be replacing the entire exhaust system, of course, so the parts and labor will be close to an even thousand."
"How much is the oil change?"
"Would you want regular oil or the superior synthetic product?"
"I suppose the superior product should be used since I'm spending so much."
"Like the way you think, Ms. Jujubean. Super LubriCAN is twenty-five dollars a quart for the first five quarts, and half price for any more that should be necessary. A new oil filter is free -- well, relatively free -- ten bucks."
"Sold! Nice job, Roger."
"Thanks, Boss."
"Now remember: Never give a sucker an even break; if you can't make the up-sale. don't worry, there's another sucker born every minute."
"So, I got the name wrong enough times?"
"That was genius, Roger. The customer begins to think that they should consider a name change as well, since their name is somehow hard to remember."
"Great! Ah, what about the minivan?"
"Oh, you take it. I hotwired it and stole it from a parking lot on the other side of town. My chauffer will be here with the Rolls in a few minutes."
"Thanks for this opportunity, Boss."
"Call me Mrs. J."
A woman pulled an SUV into the service station. She exited the vehicle and joined the manager in his office. She sat in a straight-back chair across a desk from the man who sat in a comfortable-looking swiveling office chair.
"Hello, Mrs. Johnson; my name is Roger."
"Hi, Roger. I was hoping to get my oil changed."
"Absolutely, Ms. Johnathon, but I'm afraid there is a larger issue to deal with here."
"Johnson."
"Yes, of course. I'm Roger. Now, Mrs. Joanston, we noticed as you drove in that your front end shimmied a bit."
"Oh?"
"Yes. We recommend that we check your tire wear and do a frontend alignment."
"Really?"
"Also, Nate, our lead mechanic. noted that your exhaust sounded as though you had a hole in the muffler. We'll need to replace that as there are some strict noise regulations coming down the pike in the near future. Fines, forfeitures, and all kinds of expensive legal issues could erupt from having an unmuffled muffler."
"Amazing. It's fortunate that I pulled in when I did."
"It's all right, Mrs. Jackson; we are here to make it all better."
"What do you think all this will cost?"
"Well, while we've been talking, I checked your credit, and you can charge the whole recovery."
"How much would that be?"
"Tires, on sale, eight hundred; balancing and recycling is extra, of course."
"Huh?"
"Front end alignment runs two hundred. We would be replacing the entire exhaust system, of course, so the parts and labor will be close to an even thousand."
"How much is the oil change?"
"Would you want regular oil or the superior synthetic product?"
"I suppose the superior product should be used since I'm spending so much."
"Like the way you think, Ms. Jujubean. Super LubriCAN is twenty-five dollars a quart for the first five quarts, and half price for any more that should be necessary. A new oil filter is free -- well, relatively free -- ten bucks."
"Sold! Nice job, Roger."
"Thanks, Boss."
"Now remember: Never give a sucker an even break; if you can't make the up-sale. don't worry, there's another sucker born every minute."
"So, I got the name wrong enough times?"
"That was genius, Roger. The customer begins to think that they should consider a name change as well, since their name is somehow hard to remember."
"Great! Ah, what about the minivan?"
"Oh, you take it. I hotwired it and stole it from a parking lot on the other side of town. My chauffer will be here with the Rolls in a few minutes."
"Thanks for this opportunity, Boss."
"Call me Mrs. J."
"Hello, Mrs. Johnson; my name is Roger."
"Hi, Roger. I was hoping to get my oil changed."
"Absolutely, Ms. Johnathon, but I'm afraid there is a larger issue to deal with here."
"Johnson."
"Yes, of course. I'm Roger. Now, Mrs. Joanston, we noticed as you drove in that your front end shimmied a bit."
"Oh?"
"Yes. We recommend that we check your tire wear and do a frontend alignment."
"Really?"
"Also, Nate, our lead mechanic. noted that your exhaust sounded as though you had a hole in the muffler. We'll need to replace that as there are some strict noise regulations coming down the pike in the near future. Fines, forfeitures, and all kinds of expensive legal issues could erupt from having an unmuffled muffler."
"Amazing. It's fortunate that I pulled in when I did."
"It's all right, Mrs. Jackson; we are here to make it all better."
"What do you think all this will cost?"
"Well, while we've been talking, I checked your credit, and you can charge the whole recovery."
"How much would that be?"
"Tires, on sale, eight hundred; balancing and recycling is extra, of course."
"Huh?"
"Front end alignment runs two hundred. We would be replacing the entire exhaust system, of course, so the parts and labor will be close to an even thousand."
"How much is the oil change?"
"Would you want regular oil or the superior synthetic product?"
"I suppose the superior product should be used since I'm spending so much."
"Like the way you think, Ms. Jujubean. Super LubriCAN is twenty-five dollars a quart for the first five quarts, and half price for any more that should be necessary. A new oil filter is free -- well, relatively free -- ten bucks."
"Sold! Nice job, Roger."
"Thanks, Boss."
"Now remember: Never give a sucker an even break; if you can't make the up-sale. don't worry, there's another sucker born every minute."
"So, I got the name wrong enough times?"
"That was genius, Roger. The customer begins to think that they should consider a name change as well, since their name is somehow hard to remember."
"Great! Ah, what about the minivan?"
"Oh, you take it. I hotwired it and stole it from a parking lot on the other side of town. My chauffer will be here with the Rolls in a few minutes."
"Thanks for this opportunity, Boss."
"Call me Mrs. J."
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#16 November 2022 |
Thanks to USWA6346 for use of the image.
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