It took until Saturday early morning before I felt safe to cry.

The earthquake hit on early Tuesday morning before the sun had risen.  I shook with the quake.  Sunny, my cat hid until many hours after the quake had stopped.

For the first two hours after it hit I didn’t move from my spot on the couch where I had been sleeping.  All I knew was that my glasses and cellphone were somewhere out of reach.  I was in a state of shock.

After I regained my composure, I called David my faithful friend to help move the stuff which was strewn around all over the floor and in the path of my wheelchair.   Reluctantly he came since his room was as disheveled as mine. 

As soon as he entered my apartment Sunny came out and I rejoiced with glee.  Moving one item at a time, David slowly made a pathway for me to finally take my wheelchair and get reacquainted with my apartment again.

Now, several days later I am alone, (except for Sunny) and I finally feel the tears running down my face.  I take my glasses off gently, to not smear them with tears. 

I look around and feel frightened as I remember the feelings of terror I felt that night.  I tried to face my fear and tough it out when all I really wanted to do was reach out to someone and hold them tight until the fear went away.

The weather, which was supposed to rain all week, decided to wait until we safely got over the shock of the earthquake.  The weather is kind and considerate that way.

I wonder, when have others decided they could feel safe enough to cry.  If they are like me, they have waited many days and nights worrying whether the earth is going to move violently again.

I guess each person has their own ways of dealing with terrible happenings such as earthquakes.  My thoughts are that I will feel bad until I trust the earth to stay still, otherwise, I may become one of the victims of PTSD.

Time alone will tell.  Let us hope the holiday spirit lifts us up and keeps us safe.  Safe and warm, whether we are in the throes of a blizzard or homeless, we need to feel safe and secure from the elements.

So, keep the faith and hope alive, my friends, and let’s enjoy the holiday season together.