I have found growing old to be a bother.  Gone are the days that I could run like a deer.  So too are the days that I could play pick-up basketball for hours on end.  I`m not a young man anymore, I`m not even middle age.  I am 67, however, most would say I look closer to someone in their late 50`s or at least in their early 60`s.  Gold bless them! There is an outside area near my apartment, walking distance, that offers various forms of exercise equipment.  A high bar for pull-ups, rings, a squat bench, two free-weight stations (a contained apparatus) and a tartan style flooring that is soft to the step.  I have found this exercise station as a necessary evil in my daily health routine.  What I didn`t plan on was sharing this confined area with a woman in her 30`s who terrifies me. However, another woman my age shares the space who inspires.  

 

I created a specific work-out routine that I felt was appropriate for my age and what I wanted to accomplish.  (Evening looks in the mirror don`t impress.)  My routine consists of 9 stations with 3 reps per station:  jumping jacks (50), push-ups (10), ring pull-ups (10), bicycle kicks (25), standing squats (10), dead-lift-50 pounds (10), pull-ups (3-5), plank (30 sec), bench-press 50 pounds (10).  This routine isn`t significant by any means but it does consist of 270+ total reps and takes me about 40 minutes to complete.  I can say that my work-out shirt is somewhat damp after finishing.

There are two exercises that I muddle through, not because of difficulty, rather a feeling of vertigo experienced during execution.  The two I speak of are the bench-press and bicycle kicks: both have me lying on my back.  As soon as I get into position my head just starts spinning.  I will shut my eyes with a grimace, quickly press my hands against both sides of my head, and in a few seconds the sensation will dissipate.   It`s a terrible feeling.  Should I get up too quick, I have a hard time maintaining balance and reach for something to steady me.  It`s embarrassing.  I trudge on performing like my actual age.  Often when I am doing my exercises, the `inspiring woman` is also present.  I get a sense that her age is like mine. She does her workout with a flare of grace and a dancer`s rhythm. She`s in great shape.  Kind of pisses me off but in the same breath, her regime motivates me to `hang with her`.   I`m open to new ideas.  Her routine focuses on stretching and that`s something I have always left out in my program.  I am in my 10th year of a full left knee replacement and a consistent routine of stretching would keep me limber as well as prolong the functionality of my knees.  This little woman is a doctor in disguise.  

 

There is couple who also enjoys the outdoor gym when I have been present.  Two stout human beings having a very young child who will sit quietly on a blanket occupied with Tupperware as parents’ gruel through their routines.  Their ages are probably mid-30`s.  He might be a little older based on the grey in his hair and beard.  She looks like an athlete recovering from childbirth.  I would put her at 5`-8” and 150 pounds. Broad shoulders, meaty in a good way and strong.  I could picture her swimming the English Channel, she has that kind of physique.  Her husband is similar in build, 6`-2”, thick but trim and weighing around 220 pounds.  Neither have any scary muscular definition, rather they have endurance written all over them.  I pay little attention to the husband.  The wife, however, is the one who `terrifies` me.  Of course, I am kidding, but the fact that this woman would and could bury me in any athletic challenge is unsettling.  I had been a very good athlete in my youth, I played all the sports and excelled at most of them.  Now, I`m observing a woman who is tireless in her workout and one I would not even entertain stepping into the ring with.  I am a realist, I have over 30 years on her but still, growing old has become a bother.  

 

The `Door of Dismay` I stumble through.

 

age is everything
alas, health requires effort-
feeling crucified