| General Script posted April 6, 2025 | Chapters: |
...5 6 -7- 8... 
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a script
A chapter in the book Scene at a Cast Meeting
Scene at the Cast Meeting 7
by Bill Schott
Pons as Himself
Ned as Hisself Pez as The Law Pallas as Hamburger Victim Lisa (Felix's girlfriend) as Public Defender
Fox as Felix Fine, PI Felix as Fox Fine, PU
Matt as Witness
Jiffy as Second Witness GED (Ned's clone) as Suspect
Lois (Fox's girlfriend) as coroner
Scar (Pons' clone) as The Mayor
DED as Himself (Agent of Death)
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Last scene:
Autopsy confirmed victim was cruelly murdered by a maniac.
Readers were reminded that GED was a brain-eating zombie a year ago. .
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Scene opens with all characters reassembled in Bill's breakfast nook. All sit in a semicircle facing down stage.
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Bill: Alright, everyone. That is the basic setup for this storyline. Are there any questions going forward?
Pons: Seems like I had no part in the story.
Ned: Looks like Ned spins lots a time chewin' the fat wit DED. Ain't that a bit pickeller. Pez: I think I come off a little cutesy. That's not me. Pallas: I might want a more challenging role than a dead woman. Lisa: I feel my role as the Public Defender was well matched with my depth of talent.
Fox: I sounded a bit like Felix. Maybe you have us confused. Ned: I sure am.
Felix: That seems right. Now, as far as Fox is concerned, I see his point. I am the comedy relief here.
Matt: My "witnessing" was underplayed I think, since I had no lines or even appearence. Even Pallas had lines and he's dead.
Pallas: C'mon! Cast as a woman.
Jiffy: You were in a scene, Phyllis. I was in zero scenes.
GED: Why am I always being cast as a villain?
Lois: I believe I have established the mold for presenting an autopsy dialogue.
Pallas: I'm sure you were inspired by the cadaver's performance.
Felix: You seemed a bit "stiff" to me, dude.
Pallas: What? You weren't even there.
Fox: I was there. You killed it.
Scar: The mayor was strangely absent from either the prison scene or morgue, as he would typically be seen with accused murderers and corpses. Oh! Wait! That's it -- I wasn't in the scene.
DED: I am unaware of my need here.
Ned: Them folks thinks yer Deaf.
Bill: So, my notes say that Pons needs a part, Ned needs a purpose --
Ned: A dolphino would do, though, I guess that's askin' a lot.
D-Red: He said purpose, dummy. Yeah, that's right. I wrote myself into this scene just to point out Ned's total ignorance and stupidity.
Pallas: That's right! Ned is the total package.
Pregnant pause.
Bill: Pez needs to be seen as moody and not-to-be-messed-with; Pallas is a smart aleck, Lisa and Lois are well-cast as lawyer and doctor, and Matt is fun-loving and clever, as Jiffy is fun-loving but left of center.
Pons: It might be nice to find a place for Abecedari Ann and Betty Biggins.
Pallas: One could replace me as the corpse.
Pez: Then he could be the second victim.
Pallas: Or, I could be the cop who solves the case.
A figure appears at the doorway at the left. It is a two-headed woman. One head looks like Ann, with long blond hair, and the other looks like Betty with long, fire-engine red hair.
Ned: (seeing the two-headed woman) Holy Cattle-on-a-cattle-drive! Betty colored her hair red!
Pons: How did you get Abecedari Ann and Betty Biggins' heads on the same body, Bill.
Bill: I know a guy.
To be continued...
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