What Would You Do? (Part 1)

Have you ever had something happen (besides a death or injury of a loved one) that is so disturbing that you can't believe it is true? Yesterday, my husband, Glen, and I took a ride to a town about forty miles away to visit an Amish grocery store, and what we found out on the way home was the last thing I had ever thought would happen.

As we were about to pass our church cemetery, which is about twenty-five miles away from home, I asked Glen to stop so I could visit the graves of my parents and two brothers. It had been way too long since I had been there. 

When I picture the cemetery, I especially recall my mom's grave. I think of hers because she was the hardest of all my loved ones to let go. In the months before her death, I'd go to the house and help out where I could. Also, whenever she was in the hospital, I stayed with her no matter how long it was, so she would not be frightened. 

It was a time in my life when I was thankful my kids were mostly grown, so they didn't need me as much. My mom took so much comfort in knowing I would be there when she woke up. I promised I would be beside her through eternity and even lie next to her someday when it was my time to go. 

So that is why, not long after her young death thirty years ago, I contacted the Church's cemetery sexton and bought the plot next to her. 

Of course I would have no idea until yesterday that the price the cemetery guy charged me back then was twice as much as my parents and brothers and much more than they ask nowadays. Plus it was never reported to the church, nor was it recorded. The church never saw the money. 

George Saukala, the big auctioneer even in Wright County had finally done what I could tell in church what he wanted to do to me; he screwed me big-time. 

Yesterday, as we were walking toward their graves, I heard Glen gasp, and I asked him what was wrong. He squeezed my hand tight, and I didn't ask again because I was worried about the answer. I knew something was visibly wrong, and when we got up next to the graves, I saw it, too. 

My heart started racing, and yet the rest of me was frozen in time. At first, I couldn't speak. Glen kept talking to me and asking me to say something, and yet it seemed like an hour before I started crying. 

The horror of seeing there was a stone where my burial plot was had completely devastated me. My aunt, who was the last of my mom's siblings, had passed away two years earlier, but the memorial service was held at a later date. I had been at that service but didn't go to the cemetery. This was the first time I had been there since before my aunt had died.

I told my husband I needed to get out of there. When we got back to the car, I called the church immediately and started leaving messages for whoever might know anything that would help me.

By last night, I knew it was obvious that poor record-keeping and ignorance were responsible for this catastrophe. I have the deed, but there doesn't seem to be any clear answers from the cemetery sexton, who took over six years ago and couldn't tell me much except that an error was made. 

An error? I told him that I expected them to make this right somehow, as it was completely unacceptable. At this point, I don't even know if my thoughts are rational.

I also know the conflict this could cause with my cousins if I stick to my guns.

Just to be clear, I do realize the importance of what really matters is my going to be with Jesus someday and that I'll be with her in Heaven. 

But how do you erase something that you believed to be true all these years, and in just a few days it's all changed? I am having a hard time letting go of the idea of honoring my mother's deathbed request and keeping the last wishes I had for myself. 

All I can do is plead being human. I am on day 2 of trying to work it out in my mind, and I am surprised that I have not changed my feelings about expecting them to make it right by me. That is not at all me, being so stubborn. 

Now I know why they always advise giving yourself a cooling-off period before making any critical decision. 

We'll meet with the church board on Wednesday. I feel sick inside and still can't wrap my head around how this could have happened. Although, I am pretty sure I know what I should do. 

Yet I am curious: if you could honestly put yourself in my place, what do you think you would do?