Reviews from

The Crossing

100 word flash contest

18 total reviews 
Comment from jessizero
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This story was cute and creative, and you told it well in just 100 words. Joey's reasoning made me smile. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
    Thank you.
    Much appreciated.
Comment from rspoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an excellent flash story for the contest with a nice touch of humor.
Who knows. Maybe this is Joey's lucky day. There could be several versions of the movie, like they did in Clue.
Nicely done.
Best wishes and good luck in the contest and to Joey.
Robert


 Comment Written 11-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
    Robert.
    Thank you
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Are there movies at train stations? A little confused by this. But I really like the idea of Joey having to keep seeing the movie because each time his view of the beautiful girl is obscured by the train. All well captured in your 100 word story. Although it might just need some author's notes to explain my query (living in the UK where trains are permanently stuck where they shouldn't be but no movies to watch either!) Good luck! Debbie

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
    Noooo. No movies in train stations. He went to see the movie over and over hoping the train in the movie ran late and not block his view of the stunningly beautiful female bathing buck naked in the lake.

    Capish?
reply by Debbie D'Arcy on 12-Jan-2024
    Aha! I see. Even better! I like that because he was never going to see her buck naked. Sorry, for being so slow here.
Comment from Thesis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

LOL, that was funny. I liked how you built up the reader to think about why Joey kept going to see the same movie. you delivered the punchline very well. I really laughed out loud. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
    Awesome review.
    Much appreciated.
Comment from LateBloomer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ha, ha, ha. Very good, Author. You made me laugh. Your story has good dialogue, and I could see the whole scene from buying the ticket to talking to the ticket taker. Of special note:

One day that train has to be late."
(Great ending and punch line)

This story made me smile and laugh. Well done. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. Margaret ~ LateBloomer


 Comment Written 11-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
    Awesome review. Thank you very much.
Comment from Navada
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is very interesting logic on Joey's part, if a little misguided! No wonder the cinema staff are happy to see him. He's paying all their wages! Thanks for the share and good luck for the contest.

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
    Absolutely. Thank you for the fine review.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Okay, I thought this was going to be a fluff piece but you spun off in a way different fun direction.

One catch:
daily?"

"Theres this one scene," Joey said.
(There's)

Great creativity.
D


This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
    Thank you, Doug.
    Also for the spag fix?
reply by Douglas Goff on 11-Jan-2024
    We?re in this together!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was a funny and unexpected ending:"Where the curvaceous actress disrobes for a swim in the lake. Every day the train passes and blocks my view. One day that train has to be late."

The ticket checker grinned." Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
    Iza, thank you.
    Much appreciated.