The Crossing
100 word flash contest18 total reviews
Comment from jessizero
This story was cute and creative, and you told it well in just 100 words. Joey's reasoning made me smile. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
This story was cute and creative, and you told it well in just 100 words. Joey's reasoning made me smile. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Thank you.
Much appreciated.
Comment from rspoet
This is an excellent flash story for the contest with a nice touch of humor.
Who knows. Maybe this is Joey's lucky day. There could be several versions of the movie, like they did in Clue.
Nicely done.
Best wishes and good luck in the contest and to Joey.
Robert
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
This is an excellent flash story for the contest with a nice touch of humor.
Who knows. Maybe this is Joey's lucky day. There could be several versions of the movie, like they did in Clue.
Nicely done.
Best wishes and good luck in the contest and to Joey.
Robert
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Robert.
Thank you
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Are there movies at train stations? A little confused by this. But I really like the idea of Joey having to keep seeing the movie because each time his view of the beautiful girl is obscured by the train. All well captured in your 100 word story. Although it might just need some author's notes to explain my query (living in the UK where trains are permanently stuck where they shouldn't be but no movies to watch either!) Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
Are there movies at train stations? A little confused by this. But I really like the idea of Joey having to keep seeing the movie because each time his view of the beautiful girl is obscured by the train. All well captured in your 100 word story. Although it might just need some author's notes to explain my query (living in the UK where trains are permanently stuck where they shouldn't be but no movies to watch either!) Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Noooo. No movies in train stations. He went to see the movie over and over hoping the train in the movie ran late and not block his view of the stunningly beautiful female bathing buck naked in the lake.
Capish?
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Aha! I see. Even better! I like that because he was never going to see her buck naked. Sorry, for being so slow here.
Comment from Thesis
LOL, that was funny. I liked how you built up the reader to think about why Joey kept going to see the same movie. you delivered the punchline very well. I really laughed out loud. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
LOL, that was funny. I liked how you built up the reader to think about why Joey kept going to see the same movie. you delivered the punchline very well. I really laughed out loud. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Awesome review.
Much appreciated.
Comment from LateBloomer
Ha, ha, ha. Very good, Author. You made me laugh. Your story has good dialogue, and I could see the whole scene from buying the ticket to talking to the ticket taker. Of special note:
One day that train has to be late."
(Great ending and punch line)
This story made me smile and laugh. Well done. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. Margaret ~ LateBloomer
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
Ha, ha, ha. Very good, Author. You made me laugh. Your story has good dialogue, and I could see the whole scene from buying the ticket to talking to the ticket taker. Of special note:
One day that train has to be late."
(Great ending and punch line)
This story made me smile and laugh. Well done. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. Margaret ~ LateBloomer
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Awesome review. Thank you very much.
Comment from Navada
This is very interesting logic on Joey's part, if a little misguided! No wonder the cinema staff are happy to see him. He's paying all their wages! Thanks for the share and good luck for the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
This is very interesting logic on Joey's part, if a little misguided! No wonder the cinema staff are happy to see him. He's paying all their wages! Thanks for the share and good luck for the contest.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Absolutely. Thank you for the fine review.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Okay, I thought this was going to be a fluff piece but you spun off in a way different fun direction.
One catch:
daily?"
"Theres this one scene," Joey said.
(There's)
Great creativity.
D
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
Okay, I thought this was going to be a fluff piece but you spun off in a way different fun direction.
One catch:
daily?"
"Theres this one scene," Joey said.
(There's)
Great creativity.
D
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Thank you, Doug.
Also for the spag fix?
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We?re in this together!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
This was a funny and unexpected ending:"Where the curvaceous actress disrobes for a swim in the lake. Every day the train passes and blocks my view. One day that train has to be late."
The ticket checker grinned." Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
This was a funny and unexpected ending:"Where the curvaceous actress disrobes for a swim in the lake. Every day the train passes and blocks my view. One day that train has to be late."
The ticket checker grinned." Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Iza, thank you.
Much appreciated.