Hardly Quicksilver Jones
Justice is swift in the west27 total reviews
Comment from forestport12
This story intrigued me. The picture first caught my eye. You have a good style of writing the western genre. I enjoyed reading about the different, realistic and gritty happenings. It put me in the genre. I'm so sorry to read that you live in so much pain. I hope somehow you can continue to enrich our lives, as you do describe it as cathartic. Blessings...ahead.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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This story intrigued me. The picture first caught my eye. You have a good style of writing the western genre. I enjoyed reading about the different, realistic and gritty happenings. It put me in the genre. I'm so sorry to read that you live in so much pain. I hope somehow you can continue to enrich our lives, as you do describe it as cathartic. Blessings...ahead.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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Aren't you sweet. I had never written a western. I challenged myself to do it. It took me two years to crank this sucker out. It is not my balliwick. I write humerous crime mostly. I write about practically anything. And, although narration is my favorite, I write in other styles as well. I have been learning poetry too. Did you know there are over 300 kinds?
I will check you out. Thanks for the read and kind words. karen :-)
Comment from Douglas Goff
I wouldn't worry too much about no cousins if they are cut from the same cloth!
Ha! Fun read. Enjoyed this one so much that I had to six star it!
D
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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I wouldn't worry too much about no cousins if they are cut from the same cloth!
Ha! Fun read. Enjoyed this one so much that I had to six star it!
D
Comment Written 12-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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Thank you so much for the read and the six. It took me two years to get this one out. Westerns are not my balliwick. Love to you and yours. My next challenge is a Biography. :-)
Comment from patcelaw
Wish you the very best with all her writing and I am so pleased that you're reaching out to do other types of writing as well. Your western story is very well done Patricia.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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Wish you the very best with all her writing and I am so pleased that you're reaching out to do other types of writing as well. Your western story is very well done Patricia.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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Thanks so much. I challenged myself to do it. I don't know why it was so hard to do. I loved westerns growing up. But, I didn't read them except for Elmore Leonard and Larry MacMurtry. But, I did it, and I don't know if I will do another. I appreciate the read. Karen
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I loved the story. I'm sure being a bounty hunter does pay better than being a sheriff and may actually be safer. LOL I'm sorry about the rating. I know I explained about up to five errors a five star, but once I get to six, it's a four.
His half-brother Mostly Mercury ran his Ranch. (brother,)
They had been unhappy when he captured and turned over their brother Lester to the law for hanging. (brother,)
Well they all were odd, but he was odder still. (Well,)
When he was ten he decided he wanted fancy snake skin boots like he had seen in the general store once. (ten, & snakeskin)
When the lad was thirteen he discovered girls. (thirteen,)
Heknocked him in the head to daze him. (He knocked)
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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I loved the story. I'm sure being a bounty hunter does pay better than being a sheriff and may actually be safer. LOL I'm sorry about the rating. I know I explained about up to five errors a five star, but once I get to six, it's a four.
His half-brother Mostly Mercury ran his Ranch. (brother,)
They had been unhappy when he captured and turned over their brother Lester to the law for hanging. (brother,)
Well they all were odd, but he was odder still. (Well,)
When he was ten he decided he wanted fancy snake skin boots like he had seen in the general store once. (ten, & snakeskin)
When the lad was thirteen he discovered girls. (thirteen,)
Heknocked him in the head to daze him. (He knocked)
Comment Written 12-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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Thanks for the read. All edits have been made. I am very bad at that stuff. When my money situation is fixed up, I will get grammarly again. Everyone used to gripe about me using too many commas. Now , I don't use enough. If you give me a four that's okay. You are supposed to. I make errors. I don't get why people get on here to learn and improve, and then get mad when you try to help? I love you sweetie. I agreed with all the errors you found. We can be blind to our bad language. Pick away. I will listen and try to have it sink in. It would help, though, if you would explain why what I did is wrong. Jim Wilie explains why I need the comma. He says I am getting better. But, I think Wayne Fowler has too much fun hunting for egregious errors. I do appreciate your help, and the time you spend on me. Thank you. Karen :-)
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I do the 'when in doubt leave them out', but sometimes they're necessary.
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You help me a lot, and I appreciate it. You are a good friend. Karen
Comment from lancellot
You have a good story premise, but there is an issue, and this may be your chosen style for these stories (for some reason), but they and this one is all telling or narrative. It doesn't show or engage the reader. It is basically someone reading a summary of what happened.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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You have a good story premise, but there is an issue, and this may be your chosen style for these stories (for some reason), but they and this one is all telling or narrative. It doesn't show or engage the reader. It is basically someone reading a summary of what happened.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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I appreciative that you don't care for narrative writing. It is indeed a style. And it is my preferred way of writing. I find dialogue often clumsy. I like the flow of narration. Most of the best writers like Shakespeare, Hemingway, King, are actually storytellers. And that is what I am. I am a storyteller.
Some folks like the drive of "writers". But most seem to like narration with a careful light sprinkling of dialogue. That's what the booksellers say. I do have an old timey slant sometimes. If you do not care for it, do not feel obligated to review me. I don't review all of yours. If everyone liked the same things what a dull world it would be. You do not offend me by stating your dislike for narration. I will live. :-) But, I am warning you, It is my preferred style. Karen
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Slow. Slow. Nowhere did I say I didn't dislike narration or anything. Nowhere did I say I was obligated. Nowhere did I say I didn't care for anything.
Unfortunately, this happens on FanStory, quite often. I try, and the site does too, to caution (sometimes directly, others through satire) No, reviews are personal or an insult, nor dislike or anything. I am merely, reviewing and pointing out the difference between Showing vs. Telling. Something, I've learned to writing classes, or Tutorials on YouTube, and books about writing. I merely try to share with fellow members. There are limits built into straight narration. Never do I say writers must do what I suggest. And If I saw something absolutely wrong, I rate differently.
I will say, I too get reviews where people share their opinions. Do I always agree? No. But this is art, and we all ask for the opinions of others.
I get that, and many times, others will see what I am too close to recognize.
Karen, I mean no disrespect, but I don't understand why so many adults on the site lash out emotionally at reviews they ask for, and despite the site's warnings?
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Honey bunch, I did not take offense. I write all kinds of ways about all kinds of things. Narration is my favorite. But I have other styles as well. You will like some, and not like others. I am not bothered, and I do listen to edits and critiques. Some times I adjust my work, sometimes not. I still like you just fine. And I will still read you. Karen :-)
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
Karen,
This is a good western story. It has all the makings of the good old west and the protocols for the day. Shoot or be shot. I'm curious where this story is going. Keep writing.
Cecilia
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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Karen,
This is a good western story. It has all the makings of the good old west and the protocols for the day. Shoot or be shot. I'm curious where this story is going. Keep writing.
Cecilia
Comment Written 12-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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Boy, I wrote it because I challenged myself to do it. It was hard for me. I don't know why, but it was. I don't know why it was difficult. My next challenge is a Biography. The western story is open ended, so I might come back to it. I am contrary. Thanks for the read. Karen
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
wow this was a lot darker than I expected. But that's not to say I didn't like it. You really seemed to encompass the feeling of the old-time West and their ways. I liked the set up to the final line and the line itself was a perfect ending. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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wow this was a lot darker than I expected. But that's not to say I didn't like it. You really seemed to encompass the feeling of the old-time West and their ways. I liked the set up to the final line and the line itself was a perfect ending. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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For a western, it is not dark at all. And considering you run the horror show, It is not dark at all by comparison. Have you watched many westerns.? This is fairly cut and dried and clean for a western. Watch the wild bunch! Love ya sweetie, thanks for the read.
Karen
Comment from Rene Tyo
This a fun story, I could see how it could be bloodier as you referenced in a comment to me about my western. That being said, this almost feels like cartoon violence, which really works for your story and this genre. Your writing style is very straightforward, which I find refreshing. You navigated the many characters in such a short story very well. There was a lot going on! Your opening paragraph is a hoot. You flip between Tilly and Tillie, is this intentional?
I read your bio, I'm so sorry to hear of your misfortunes. Keep up the writing and sharing here. Writing is cathartic in my opinion. This is a very welcoming group.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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This a fun story, I could see how it could be bloodier as you referenced in a comment to me about my western. That being said, this almost feels like cartoon violence, which really works for your story and this genre. Your writing style is very straightforward, which I find refreshing. You navigated the many characters in such a short story very well. There was a lot going on! Your opening paragraph is a hoot. You flip between Tilly and Tillie, is this intentional?
I read your bio, I'm so sorry to hear of your misfortunes. Keep up the writing and sharing here. Writing is cathartic in my opinion. This is a very welcoming group.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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I edited. It is Tillie. Karen
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I'm going to be enjoying this story, Karen, you've kicked off with an exciting first chapter. With one brother as a bounty hunter and the other as a sheriff, Josh will have his hands full on the ranch. I'm going to watch out for the next chapter. Well done! :)) Sandra xxx
And broke up to(o) many cantinas
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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I'm going to be enjoying this story, Karen, you've kicked off with an exciting first chapter. With one brother as a bounty hunter and the other as a sheriff, Josh will have his hands full on the ranch. I'm going to watch out for the next chapter. Well done! :)) Sandra xxx
And broke up to(o) many cantinas
Comment Written 12-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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Thanks, who said there was more? It took two years to write this one. But, I left it open, just in case:-)
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WHAT!!!! I want MORE! 😂
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I am seriously thinking on it okay? Don't have a conniption.
Mostly, Hardly, and Josh were sitting round the supper table talking about "Joaquin Murrieta Carrillo " the most wanted man in California, Sonora, and Mexico. "Word is, he is headed this way,"said Mostly. "I don't know if I believe the stories", said Josh. I am just saying, I am thinking about it. :-)
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I've just learned a new word!! Conniption. I have never heard of it before and had to check it out! I must be sadly lacking in my education!!!! 😂
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It is an old western word. I try to send up at least one word that is not used often.
I am quirky like that. :-)
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I think you're great! xxx
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I edited. Karen
Comment from Ric Myworld
I don't think there is anyone who tells a better story than you do or creates better characters and names. Now I'm just waiting for the time when you use those fantastic word skills to show us the mud, the blood, the rapes, and the dead bodies. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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I don't think there is anyone who tells a better story than you do or creates better characters and names. Now I'm just waiting for the time when you use those fantastic word skills to show us the mud, the blood, the rapes, and the dead bodies. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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I love doing the names. If I wasn't so darn humble I would tell you of my many fine qualities. You want bloody? Give me my first sentence. :-)
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It wasn't the gunfight at O.K. Corral, but there were more bloody carcasses than a slaughterhouse.
