Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Hi, debi. Brilliant writing here. Your story continues to keep the reader very involved. Greatr imagery throughout:
like:

"Piper turned over from his sitting position onto his knees and reached toward his belongings. He removed the flute from its traveling case and unwrapped the sheepskin covering he used for extra protection."

Natural-sounding dialogue, too.
Suggestrions: "Piper gasped and his eyes grew wide." (Perhaps just :"Piper's eyes widened."

Bravo, my friend! Blessings, Bob

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2017

Hi Bob,
Thank you for taking time to read and comment on this chapter. I appreciate the comments and suggestions.
Debi

Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)

Excellent

Your alternative world is so well crafted it is very absorbing and appealing. I love reading your work, you are a very talented writer and as ever this was a very strong chapter with good progression and a really enjoyed by me. Kindest regard Meia x

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2017

Hi Meia,
Thank you for taking time to stop by to read and review. I appreciate you comments about the alternative world and how you found it absorbing. Such encouraging comments are welcome.
Debi

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

Yes there is power in music and I have been led to believe in the flute. Remember the Pied Piper? A story older than dirt! LOL What is it that Redd-Leif Summerstorm wants from Piper?
Music is supposed to tame the savage beast. We'll see I suppose. xo Nancy

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2017

Hi Nancy,
Thank you for the excellent review and your encouraging comments.
Oh, yes, I do like the Pied Piper. It is one of my favorite stories. Sometimes I think he is the hero and sometimes I think it is wise to beware of him. But whatever he is, it is best to stick to any bargain you make with him.
Music does have its own magic.
Debi

Comment from F. Wehr3

Exceptional

I think your story is really coming along nicely. Good descriptive work as always. I enjoy how you are slowly introducing Piper's magic. Great job!

When Rupert dropped his bundle of wood it frightened the wolves off,--Suggest a comma after wood.

Take care,
Russell

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2017

Hi Russell,
Thank you for brightening my day with the shiny six star rating. I appreciate it so much! Thank you for catching the missing comma. I'm off to correct it. I appreciate you dropping in to read and review, and for the encouragement.
Debi

Comment from Benny Beeharry

Excellent

Hi friend. I am lucky I got this one in my box too. I like it and as I said before,I like the language and specially the continuous knitting of one fact or occurrance into another, which gives strength to the flow and make the story solid. The flow is beautiful and one cannot get bored .the details are exactly sufficient to make the reading go.
Thank you. Take care

Danny Jock(Benny)

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2017

Hi Danny Jock (Benny)
How nice of you to stop by. I appreciate the kind comments about the writing and you pointing out the facts and occurrences knitting together.
Debi

Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Excellent

An intriguing chapter where we see Redd-Leif taking charge of the two boys to try and get them help. He encourages Piper to continue to play his music, and to stay alone and safe while he gets help for Rupert.

Great story,
Rhonda

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2017

Hi Rhonda,
Good to hear from you again. Thank you for the analysis of the chapter and the encouragement.
Debi