Dad! Your Burning Down the House
A Story About Living with an Alcoholic.34 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Your writing has a very conversational tone to it which is fitting for what You're writing.
It's not easy essentially becoming a carer for a parent but sometimes these things are unavoidable.
Be careful of repeating phrases close together. Here early on you use 'at this time's in successive sentences.
It's a good idea to use different forms for thought and speech. If you use the same marks it can get confusing for the reader. Inthis piece you use the double marks for both.
The title should read You're rather than Your
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Hi there,
Your writing has a very conversational tone to it which is fitting for what You're writing.
It's not easy essentially becoming a carer for a parent but sometimes these things are unavoidable.
Be careful of repeating phrases close together. Here early on you use 'at this time's in successive sentences.
It's a good idea to use different forms for thought and speech. If you use the same marks it can get confusing for the reader. Inthis piece you use the double marks for both.
The title should read You're rather than Your
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Well, thank you so much GMG for the ideas and review. I truly appreciate that!
Comment from Lana Marie
Thank you for this real story. I'm sure so many of us can relate to living with a parent that has struggled with alcoholism. My stepdad was an alcoholic and that relationship did not last. When he was 36 years old, he was killed in a motorcycle accident people thought that he had been drinking that morning. My ex-husband's mom used to work at that Ford plant in Ohio. I wonder if they knew each other. Sorry for what you went through and for the loss of your father. There are lots of good people who do bad things.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Thank you for this real story. I'm sure so many of us can relate to living with a parent that has struggled with alcoholism. My stepdad was an alcoholic and that relationship did not last. When he was 36 years old, he was killed in a motorcycle accident people thought that he had been drinking that morning. My ex-husband's mom used to work at that Ford plant in Ohio. I wonder if they knew each other. Sorry for what you went through and for the loss of your father. There are lots of good people who do bad things.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Well, thank you so much Lana for the kind words and great review. I truly appreciate you!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Super telling. Great writing. You put us in the head of a child and made it real.
The title (You're)
coast of Colombia, with the U.S. Coast Guard. - You don't need this comma.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Super telling. Great writing. You put us in the head of a child and made it real.
The title (You're)
coast of Colombia, with the U.S. Coast Guard. - You don't need this comma.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Well, thank you so much Wayne for the kind words, ideas and great review. I truly appreciate you!
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is truly a compelling story. It must have been difficult as a child, to feel responsible for a grown adult. I understand your mother's decision to take her children and leave, knowing you were mature enough to also understand. Your story is well written, paced well, and flows seamlessly. Well done.
Correct one word in your title. (Dad. YOU'RE Burning Down the House)
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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This is truly a compelling story. It must have been difficult as a child, to feel responsible for a grown adult. I understand your mother's decision to take her children and leave, knowing you were mature enough to also understand. Your story is well written, paced well, and flows seamlessly. Well done.
Correct one word in your title. (Dad. YOU'RE Burning Down the House)
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Well, LJbutterfly thank you for your kind words, ideas, and great review. I truly appreciate you!
Comment from Brenda Strauser
This was such a heartfelt story. You described your life with your dad very well. It was easy to read and very compelling. I enjoyed it. Great job.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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This was such a heartfelt story. You described your life with your dad very well. It was easy to read and very compelling. I enjoyed it. Great job.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Well, thank you so much Brenda for the kind words and great review! I truly appreciate you!
Comment from royowen
That's what I was until I met God, or rather He met me, as well as being a compulsive gambler and smoker, all three went into the waters of baptism, my kids were 4 and 6 months, they've never really saw me drunk, but you're right, it's a disease, I could be a terrible drunk. I did nearly burn the house down once, ruined a sofa. My dad died at 67, he was a smoker and a drunk, he suffered a major stroke, I miss him also, mum and and dad were divorced also. Beautifully written, blessing Harry, Roy
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2025
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That's what I was until I met God, or rather He met me, as well as being a compulsive gambler and smoker, all three went into the waters of baptism, my kids were 4 and 6 months, they've never really saw me drunk, but you're right, it's a disease, I could be a terrible drunk. I did nearly burn the house down once, ruined a sofa. My dad died at 67, he was a smoker and a drunk, he suffered a major stroke, I miss him also, mum and and dad were divorced also. Beautifully written, blessing Harry, Roy
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2025
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Thank you so much Roy. I truly appreciate you! Sorry to hear that about your dad! Thanks for the review. I truly appreciate that!
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Most welcome
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Roger That!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Your story is so honest and filled with emotions and I can only imagine what was for you as a child to burden with such a big responsibility, watching your dad and your siblings.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2025
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Your story is so honest and filled with emotions and I can only imagine what was for you as a child to burden with such a big responsibility, watching your dad and your siblings.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2025
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Thank you so much Iza. Yes, it was a great responsiblity, but I got through it. Thank you for the kind words and review. I truly appreciate it!
Comment from Ulla
No It certainly can't be. You told this story so very vividly that, at times, I bought t must have been for real. Unfortunately, it is real for far too many. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2025
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No It certainly can't be. You told this story so very vividly that, at times, I bought t must have been for real. Unfortunately, it is real for far too many. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2025
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Yes, Ulla. It was real for me to. I wish it had not been, but it was. I truly appreciate your review!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
What a tragic story, Harry, and you recount it with such fluency and lucid memory. I used to work with alcoholics and know exactly what you mean when you say he was a working alcoholic. We have a concept of someone with this disease being dysfunctional in all aspects of their life but this isn't necessary the case. They learn to hold their liquor at specific times. I can't believe how fundamental you were in rescuing your father and siblings. You should never have any conscience that you didn't help him. You were a life-saver! A virtual six from me! Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2025
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What a tragic story, Harry, and you recount it with such fluency and lucid memory. I used to work with alcoholics and know exactly what you mean when you say he was a working alcoholic. We have a concept of someone with this disease being dysfunctional in all aspects of their life but this isn't necessary the case. They learn to hold their liquor at specific times. I can't believe how fundamental you were in rescuing your father and siblings. You should never have any conscience that you didn't help him. You were a life-saver! A virtual six from me! Take care Debbie
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2025
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Thank you so much Debbie. I appreciate the fact that you understand the difference in alcoholics. And you worked with them as well. That is a very honorable job! Thank you for the kind words and great review! I truly appreciate that!
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
This is such a deeply moving story. Your compassion shines through in every word. For me that made it all the more heartbreaking. The way you describe watching over your father while also caring for your siblings is incredibly touching. It speaks to a strength beyond your years. The fire scene had me on edge. And the way you took charge at such a young age is nothing short of heroic. Your love for your father is evident despite everything, and that makes this piece all the more touching. Thank you for sharing such a personal and heartfelt story.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2025
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This is such a deeply moving story. Your compassion shines through in every word. For me that made it all the more heartbreaking. The way you describe watching over your father while also caring for your siblings is incredibly touching. It speaks to a strength beyond your years. The fire scene had me on edge. And the way you took charge at such a young age is nothing short of heroic. Your love for your father is evident despite everything, and that makes this piece all the more touching. Thank you for sharing such a personal and heartfelt story.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2025
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Well, thank you Michael. I truly appreciate your kind words and great review!
