Hell in a Bottle
The horror of addiction and the nightmare that followed43 total reviews
Comment from royowen
I admire the incredible resolve that you took on board that caused you to live, it seems that a lot of celebrities have taken their own lives after the realities thst fame and fortune can't really fix the problem of not having God, pain seems more likely to make us like Jesus than comfort, a big dose of God each day fills that need more than drugs. When God filled that need that everyone needs, I stopped drinking, smoking and gambling. I no longer needed satanic idols anymore. It is like identifying with Christ's suffering that brings the true joy. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
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I admire the incredible resolve that you took on board that caused you to live, it seems that a lot of celebrities have taken their own lives after the realities thst fame and fortune can't really fix the problem of not having God, pain seems more likely to make us like Jesus than comfort, a big dose of God each day fills that need more than drugs. When God filled that need that everyone needs, I stopped drinking, smoking and gambling. I no longer needed satanic idols anymore. It is like identifying with Christ's suffering that brings the true joy. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 19-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
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Hi Roy, thank you for the kindness you show me for this.
As they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." My faith was lower when I was on them because I was letting the pills rule my happiness, not Jesus.
I do live with a lot of pain, but I write and use mind over matter and I pray about it now instead of waiting for my next fix. It feels good to see the other side so it's not so easy to judge.
Thanks for the very kind words, dear friend. Love, Debi
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Well done
Comment from GWHARGIS
Somehow, a lot of people who are addicted to prescription narcotics, do not think they are addicts. After all, the doctor told them to take them. Oxycontin, which isn't as heavily prescribed anymore, is so addictive, it makes your body create pain. It was a brave post. I see it more often than I care too. Thankfully, you fought back. Good on you. Gretchen
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
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Somehow, a lot of people who are addicted to prescription narcotics, do not think they are addicts. After all, the doctor told them to take them. Oxycontin, which isn't as heavily prescribed anymore, is so addictive, it makes your body create pain. It was a brave post. I see it more often than I care too. Thankfully, you fought back. Good on you. Gretchen
Comment Written 19-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
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Hi Gretchen, I figured you would have lots of knowledge about this subject. It did take me a while to get it but only because I was lying to myself. I didn't want to quit. But I made the only choice between the pills or my family.
As they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." My faith was lower when I was on them because I was letting the pills rule my happiness, not Jesus.
I do live with a lot of pain, but I write and use mind over matter and I pray about it now instead of waiting for my next fix. It feels good to see the other side so it's not so easy to judge.
Thanks for the very kind words, dear friend. Love you so much! Debi
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh Debi, how awful! I'm surprised the doctor let you have all those! He should be struck off! It had to be hard when you were in so much pain. I'm so glad things are better now, but those nightmares, you can get help with those, love. Well done, for writing this, it must have been hard. Love you lots, my friend. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
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Oh Debi, how awful! I'm surprised the doctor let you have all those! He should be struck off! It had to be hard when you were in so much pain. I'm so glad things are better now, but those nightmares, you can get help with those, love. Well done, for writing this, it must have been hard. Love you lots, my friend. Sandra xx
Comment Written 19-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
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Hi Sandra, back 25 years ago there was nobody fighting this dirty practice between doctors and big pharma. When the legislature cracked down there was a multi-billionaire settlement and I could have received compensation for the suffering. But I said no. I just wanted to try to forget it.
As they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." My faith was lower when I was on them because I was letting the pills rule my happiness, not Jesus.
I do live with a lot of pain, but I write and use mind over matter and I pray about it now instead of waiting for my next fix. It feels good to see the other side so it's not so easy to judge.
Thanks for the very kind words, dear friend.
I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you daily too. I know how your asthma gives you trouble. Please take care of yourself and good luck on the cataracts. I hope you have as good of luck with yours as I had with mine.
Love you so much! Debi
Comment from karenina
Thanks for sharing this, Debi. Many patients, seeing their doctors regularly and trusting their prescriptions, fall into addiction. This is happening today as well. You've made it clear that the common conception of an addict being some homeless human in an alley is only a small part of the picture.
The scary thing is going off of painkillers is not only painful, if not done with medical supervision, it can kill you.
You wrote: "I had no idea of the danger of withdrawal." -- and THAT is the miracle here. Especially with the pharmacy mix-up (and what is THAT about? Mixing up on narcotics?) -- you could have easily gone into seizures -- or death.
You may save lives with this post. It is very brave to reveal your struggle with addiction-- for anyone reading, I pray that they question their medical providers extensively and carefully consider alternatives to narcotics.
Sometimes, of course, they may be necessary. "Doctor shopping" and "ER Hopping" are still prevalent and multiple prescriptions are still relatively easy to get.
Good job saving yourself from a certain hell!
Karenina
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2025
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Thanks for sharing this, Debi. Many patients, seeing their doctors regularly and trusting their prescriptions, fall into addiction. This is happening today as well. You've made it clear that the common conception of an addict being some homeless human in an alley is only a small part of the picture.
The scary thing is going off of painkillers is not only painful, if not done with medical supervision, it can kill you.
You wrote: "I had no idea of the danger of withdrawal." -- and THAT is the miracle here. Especially with the pharmacy mix-up (and what is THAT about? Mixing up on narcotics?) -- you could have easily gone into seizures -- or death.
You may save lives with this post. It is very brave to reveal your struggle with addiction-- for anyone reading, I pray that they question their medical providers extensively and carefully consider alternatives to narcotics.
Sometimes, of course, they may be necessary. "Doctor shopping" and "ER Hopping" are still prevalent and multiple prescriptions are still relatively easy to get.
Good job saving yourself from a certain hell!
Karenina
Comment Written 19-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2025
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Hi K, Yes, this was back twenty years ago, before they started cracking down on doctors giving and pushing this. I believe my doctor was in it for the payback from the pharmaceutical company. Because whenever I went to see her and I would tell her about my pain, she would offer me them. I said no for years because I had a mother smart enough to warn me at a young age cause I was on BC pills from the age of ten to help my cycle. And remember that they said speed and other narcotics could cause problems. I think it was blood clots. So that much I knew.
But once I was addicted to these heavenly oxy pills, I lost all concept of right and wrong, healthy or not, and good or bad. I didn't care. All that mattered to me is that I needed that high. It was helping me cope as well as taking a little edge off the pain.
So, did you notice that I said my NEW doctor was helping me ween? However, I was still not using common sense at the time. All I knew is that I wanted that feeling to disappear and then there was a mixup with my ambien and I had to go without that for what seemed like a week or so. I remember that they weren't able to get them as there was some kind of a shortage of the CR kind I was on at the time.
I know the reason for that violent of a nightmare and that was because I was trying to control my own destiny with those things.
And yet there are days!! I think if I knew the world was going to end next week, I'd pop those babies, have a couple margaritas and start smoking again. (OMGosh, did I just say that? LOL) do you think there might be a little addiction left in me? Once an addict, always an addict. And yet just as I am with enduring pain, I fight back just as strong with my temptation for oxy.
Jesus and my Holy Spirit gave it back to me (common sense) and are my saving Grace! I shouldn't even joke around about going back to it for any reason.
Thanks for all the kind words for my story, K. You're the best. Love ya, Debi
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Ambien and Oxy? Girl...you are lucky you got through that period! Even though there is much more evidence information, there are still medical professionals that write scripts for Oxy without a second thought. One in our town recently lost his ability to prescribe ANY narcotic for his indiscriminate treatment with them.
I'm so glad you have that chapter behind you!
Comment from estory
This is a real, emotional narrative of the horrors of opiod addiction. The relation of this nightmare, with you coiled up in this barbed wire, waking up screaming, is just gripping. And the sinister tale of how the first doctor just prescribes more and more painkillers, as you sink into the addiction, is really eerie. And scary. Some of these doctors are just out for the money, and when they get you between a rock and a hard place, suffering in pain without relief, they just drop you down the rabbit hole. I had a similar experience once when I had some surgery on my wrist and the doctor prescribed enough oxycodone to last a month or more. I followed the directions, and promptly od's within a day. Luckily my sister told me these symptoms of dizziness and sweating profusely were overdose symptoms and I dumped all the pills in the toilet and switched to tylenol. estory
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
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This is a real, emotional narrative of the horrors of opiod addiction. The relation of this nightmare, with you coiled up in this barbed wire, waking up screaming, is just gripping. And the sinister tale of how the first doctor just prescribes more and more painkillers, as you sink into the addiction, is really eerie. And scary. Some of these doctors are just out for the money, and when they get you between a rock and a hard place, suffering in pain without relief, they just drop you down the rabbit hole. I had a similar experience once when I had some surgery on my wrist and the doctor prescribed enough oxycodone to last a month or more. I followed the directions, and promptly od's within a day. Luckily my sister told me these symptoms of dizziness and sweating profusely were overdose symptoms and I dumped all the pills in the toilet and switched to tylenol. estory
Comment Written 19-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
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Hi estory, that is quite the story you have there. You, my friend, were a heck of a lot smarter than I was. I found my self get a little chill when I read you flushed them down the toilet. You see, my mind still reacts to the thought of them, even if I don't take them anymore.
I guess my addiction will always be there.
Anyway, back 25 years ago there was nobody fighting this dirty practice between doctors and big pharma. When the legislature cracked down there was a multi-billionaire settlement and I could have received compensation for the suffering. But I said no. I just wanted to try to forget it.
As they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." My faith was lower when I was on them because I was letting the pills rule my happiness, not Jesus.
I do live with a lot of pain, but I write and use mind over matter and I pray about it now instead of waiting for my next fix. It feels good to see the other side so it's not so easy to judge.
Thanks for the very kind words, dear friend. Love, Debi
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
Debi,
What a great story about the hell you went through to get off of pain medicine. It is a living nightmare. I have watched a couple of friends get off of them and it was awful.
I understand that determination to stay away from them. My husband thinks like you when it comes to alcohol. He says he never wants to go through that hell to get off of it again.
You are a super hero my friend. Stay strong and have a blessed day.
Cecilia
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
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Debi,
What a great story about the hell you went through to get off of pain medicine. It is a living nightmare. I have watched a couple of friends get off of them and it was awful.
I understand that determination to stay away from them. My husband thinks like you when it comes to alcohol. He says he never wants to go through that hell to get off of it again.
You are a super hero my friend. Stay strong and have a blessed day.
Cecilia
Comment Written 19-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
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Hi Cecilia, back 25 years ago there was nobody fighting this dirty practice between doctors and big pharma. When the legislature cracked down there was a multi-billionaire settlement and I could have received compensation for the suffering. But I said no. I just wanted to try to forget it.
As they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." My faith was lower when I was on them because I was letting the pills rule my happiness, not Jesus.
I do live with a lot of pain, but I write and use mind over matter and I pray about it now instead of waiting for my next fix. It feels good to see the other side so it's not so easy to judge.
Thanks for the very kind words, dear friend. Love, Debi
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You're welcome
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this club entry with us. Yes, it's possible to get to prescription medicine. It seems that's how some people start. They can't get the prescription refills and look elsewhere. I know God was there to help you through this.
my doctor was increasing the dose again and again. (The doctor should not have done that.)
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2025
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Thank you for sharing this club entry with us. Yes, it's possible to get to prescription medicine. It seems that's how some people start. They can't get the prescription refills and look elsewhere. I know God was there to help you through this.
my doctor was increasing the dose again and again. (The doctor should not have done that.)
Comment Written 19-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2025
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That's right, Barb. My doctor should not have done that. Did you notice that I wrote that my NEW doctor started weaning me off. I got a new doctor right away and have had her since. But twenty years ago when this was going on, they weren't telling doctors yet to stop prescribing these. I think they were getting a big bonus from big pharmaceutical companies, you know?
So I don't know how they lived with themselves.
I will tell you this, tho. If I ever would find out that they were healthy, I want them back. LOL.. that is the old addiction trickery.
Thanks for the kind words for my story. I know you are right about that too. It is by the grace of God that I got off and strong enough to stay off.
Lotsa love, my friend. Debi
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Sending you love.
Comment from Jim Wile
What a horrifying experience you went through, Debi, that is all too common. That's exactly how many people become addicted to opioids like Oxy. The real problem seems to be that pleasure is mixed in with pain relief and after a while you're not sure if you're taking them for the pain relief or the pleasure or a combination. If they didn't give such pleasure, they wouldn't be so addicting.
There is a new heavy-duty, non-addictive painkiller that was just approved by the FDA called Journavx that uses a different mechanism of action than by attaching to opioid receptors (the thing that gives both pain relief and causes euphoria). Instead, it does something called sodium channel blocking that blocks the route of pain signals to the brain. It works much like the dentist's lidocaine shots, which don't cause euphoria.
This was the subject of my last novel called Duel with the Devil that I wrote over a year ago, and it featured a young man who also became addicted to Oxy after a car accident, but who goes to college and becomes a neuroscientist and invents a non-addictive drug that uses sodium channel blocking. (They stole my idea for Journavx!) My current novel, which is a sequel, deals with Big Pharma's attempt to stop this new drug because it threatens their opioid cash cows.
Sorry you had to go through that, and it's too bad there wasn't such a drug around that could have been used instead of opioids.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
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What a horrifying experience you went through, Debi, that is all too common. That's exactly how many people become addicted to opioids like Oxy. The real problem seems to be that pleasure is mixed in with pain relief and after a while you're not sure if you're taking them for the pain relief or the pleasure or a combination. If they didn't give such pleasure, they wouldn't be so addicting.
There is a new heavy-duty, non-addictive painkiller that was just approved by the FDA called Journavx that uses a different mechanism of action than by attaching to opioid receptors (the thing that gives both pain relief and causes euphoria). Instead, it does something called sodium channel blocking that blocks the route of pain signals to the brain. It works much like the dentist's lidocaine shots, which don't cause euphoria.
This was the subject of my last novel called Duel with the Devil that I wrote over a year ago, and it featured a young man who also became addicted to Oxy after a car accident, but who goes to college and becomes a neuroscientist and invents a non-addictive drug that uses sodium channel blocking. (They stole my idea for Journavx!) My current novel, which is a sequel, deals with Big Pharma's attempt to stop this new drug because it threatens their opioid cash cows.
Sorry you had to go through that, and it's too bad there wasn't such a drug around that could have been used instead of opioids.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
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Hi Jim, I know you know a lot about this too. Right before I went off, I was on 4-60mg Oxycontin a day and 4-10mg Percocet with 325mg Tylenol. There was only one step higher and that was for cancer patients.
Here in MN, back 25 years ago there was nobody fighting this dirty practice between doctors and big pharma. When the legislature cracked down here, there was a multi-$$$$$ settlement and I could have received compensation for the suffering. But I said no. I just wanted to try to forget it.
As they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." My faith was lower when I was on them because I was letting the pills rule my happiness.
I will have to ask my dr about Journavx.
I do live with a lot of pain, but I write and use mind over matter and I pray about it now instead of waiting for my next fix. It feels good to see the other side so it's not so easy to judge.
Thanks for the very kind words, dear friend. I will try to come over sometime and read what you have written. Is your novel on FS?
Thanks again, my friend. Love, Debi
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Debi, I'm so sorry to hear about the amount of pain you live with and your horrible experience with opioids. Your experience is shared by many with very unfortunate results in many cases. There are at least 80,000 deaths a year from opioid overdoses in the US alone, not to mention the daily ravages of addiction.
Journavx, I believe, is only prescribed for acute pain rather than chronic pain. I'm not sure if they've studied it for chronic pain, but I'm sure they are working on non-addictive drugs for that too.
Both my last novel and my current one are available on FanStory. The last one was called Duel with the Devil. Here is a blurb for it to see if you might be interested in reading it:
One stupid moment is all it took to change 16-year-old Brian Kendrick's life forever. Infatuated with an older girl, he makes a fool of himself at a teenage party and flees in shame. He smashes his car into a tree, severely damaging his back and neck, which leaves him in chronic pain. He develops an addiction to opioids after receiving treatment, leading to predictable, harmful outcomes and a stint in rehab. There he meets Julia, an exceptionally gifted violinist whose performance anxiety led her to a similar addiction to drugs.
When a gym accident in college leads to a relapse, a compassionate professor helps Brian to recover and steers him to become a neuroscientist, who devotes himself to formulating a non-addictive painkiller to replace opioids. He creates a new drug that is fabulously successful until something goes horribly wrong while testing it on himself, and he ends up with the most psychologically addictive drug imaginable. Can Julia and others close to him, help him overcome this most heinous addiction and salvage the drug before it destroys him?
I'm currently posting the sequel called The Devil Fights Back now. Here's the blurb for that one:
A highly addictive new drug is running rampant in all the major cities of the US and threatens the country's economy because it ruins all motivation to work. FBI agent Fran Pekarski must try to figure out how the secret of this drug, which was invented by her own brother, Brian Kendrick, got out and, more importantly, how to stop its further spread. She enlists her brother and a crack team of experts to help her in this effort.
Fran meets Dana Padgett, who works for a large pharmaceutical company, in a bar one night and finds out that Dana has become disillusioned with her company because of its dishonesty, in particular its stance about a powerful new non-addictive painkiller drug that promises to replace their opioid cash cow. This drug also happened to be invented by Fran's brother. From this serendipitous meeting, the two women forge a powerful alliance against the evils of Big Pharma, which is attempting to suppress this miracle drug.
Joining this intrepid pair is Dr. Marie Schmidt, Brian Kendrick's mother-in-law. She is entitled, bigoted, foul-mouthed, and estranged from her daughter, whose relationship with Brian she tried to break off 14 years earlier. When she finds out she is now a grandmother, it changes the direction of her life.
This sequel to Duel with the Devil is an exciting story of scientific intrigue, treachery, uncommon bravery, and personal redemption.
Love, Jim
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
That is such a horrible dream. It sounds a little like sleep paralysis. I have gone through pain killer addiction too and it is as hard to come off of as heroin. Or so it seemed. Glad you turned it down later.never take the chance. Great story for the club prompt.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
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That is such a horrible dream. It sounds a little like sleep paralysis. I have gone through pain killer addiction too and it is as hard to come off of as heroin. Or so it seemed. Glad you turned it down later.never take the chance. Great story for the club prompt.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
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Hi Marilyn, I hope you didn't mind me using a true subject as it truly was the nightmare from Hell. But since you have gone through it too, I would love to hear about it sometime. If someone would tell you that you could be normal and still take them, would you do it?
In MN, back 25 years ago there was nobody fighting this dirty practice between doctors and big pharma. When the legislature cracked down there was a multi-billionaire settlement and I could have received compensation for the suffering. But I said no. I just wanted to try to forget it.
As they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." My faith was lower when I was on them because I was letting the pills rule my happiness and not Jesus.
I do live with a lot of pain, but I write and use mind over matter and I pray about it now instead of waiting for my next fix. It feels good to see the other side so it's not so easy to judge.
Thanks for the very kind words, dear friend. Love, Debi
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They could tell me I could be normal but I wouldn't believe them because those drugs took my life away for over 15 years while my daughter was growing. They stole my time seeing that si I would never go back. Plus I could never go through the withdrawals if I had to come off them. Using your true story was totally fine.
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I feel the same way that you do. I had someone tell me today that they flushed a whole bottle down the toilet and for a second my mind reacted to it. No, I made a choice of my family too. The only choice, but the addiction will always be there for me.
Comment from Terry Broxson
Debi, your prose writing remains a strong suit of yours. This is well written and well told. I have heard of others who were not as strong as you were when facing this challenge. Unfortunately, too many fell for the "Peace" these drugs offered only to find the hell you saw. Excellent. Terry.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2025
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Debi, your prose writing remains a strong suit of yours. This is well written and well told. I have heard of others who were not as strong as you were when facing this challenge. Unfortunately, too many fell for the "Peace" these drugs offered only to find the hell you saw. Excellent. Terry.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2025
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Hi there, Terry! Amazing what I will do to get a review out of you. LOL. Yes, now that I am kind of established with my poetry standings, I figured it was time to start getting a prose standing. I do love writing prose because there are a million stories to tell, but maybe I have enough fan base to do both and promote less. Have you looked at where top place is in poetry. I barely get on featured part with $1.03? It's ridiculously high in both areas right now.
Anyway, thank you so very much, for coming over and reviewing this. I always love your observations and wisdom. As much as I appreciate your six star, I never thought of that once. I just wanted to see you here.
Thanks again, my wonderful friend. Love, Debi
