Comment from Michael Ludwinder

Excellent

Your poem strikes deep. I feel the pain that can be hidden behind closed doors reading this. I'm moved by how you've captured the internal battle.
You really show how depression can leave someone isolated and misunderstood. The emotion in this piece is powerful. It's heartbreaking but beautifully written.

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2025

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reply by the author on 05-Feb-2025

Thank you, you're very kind.

Comment from Barry Penfold

Excellent

Suicide is a horrible way to die. Too many people meet their end through suicide. I like the way you have put this poem all together. Sad but carefully put. I really like your last stanza.
Regards
Barry Penfold.

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2025

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reply by the author on 05-Feb-2025

Thanks so much, appreciate it.

Comment from JSD

Excellent

This is the best of the poetry I have read by you. I particularly like the intriguing beginning which introduces the whole theme. The soaked fluffy dice become a potent image, even better than the stopped watch. Well done. This is excellent.

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023

Thank you for this great review and for your kind words. :)

Comment from Aaron Milavec

Exceptional

Powerful. Just the right amount of detail. This let's the reader to fill in the gaps. Flows nicely from beginning to end.

Peace and joy in writing,
Aaron M

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023

Thank you for this exceptional review, it means a lot to me. :)

Comment from kiwisteveh

Excellent

Depression is a big deal and we need to throw all the resources we have at it, both within families and as a community.

I liked the structure here with the refrain-like single lines, all on the same rhyme, punctuating the longer narrative of the poem.

Grim reading with no chance of a happy ending, but very emotional write. Thank you for sharing.

Steve

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023

Thank you for taking the time to read my poem and for this thoughtful review.

Comment from Douglas Goff

Excellent

I liked this. It is a thinker meaning I had to mull over meaning more than once. I like the color scheme and picture as well. It would be a great Bible book mark. Keep up the good work!

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2022

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2022

Thanks for reading my poem and for your insightful comments. :)

Comment from pookietoo

Excellent

wow, suicide is very rough. Your pain tells it very well. I enjoyed reading i Keep up the great work, and have a nice day. Enjoy the little things. Keep smiling.

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2022

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2022

Thanks for taking the time to read my poem. :)

reply by pookietoo on 13-Sep-2022

Welcome

Comment from Elena Deas

Exceptional

And this is what is so great about this site. Thank you so much for taking some time out to speak about this topic! As great literature continues to perform, it opens the topic for discussion. If you have a moment, how did this become your topic of discussion? Managing my battles it's refreshing to not constantly feel this subject is so taboo. Much love and blessings to you ð???

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2021

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2021

I have a close family friend whose son committed suicide. This poem however, came from watching a documentary about divers who volunteer to search lakes around where someone has gone missing, to bring closure to the families of missing relatives. On this occasion they were just doing a lake clean up and they came across a car with human remains inside. It turned out to be a 17 year old boy who had been missing for 12 years. He had been troubled according to the family, and letters were found sealed up in the car, which brought the family comfort and closure. It was late at night, but I couldn't get it out of my head, so I just started writing. Thank you for reading my poem and for this exceptionally thoughtful review.

reply by Elena Deas on 12-Aug-2021

Wow thank you so much for taking the time to write a review. Going through the motions and not knowing what to do can be so hard and I can only imagine what that poor son and family were going through. I appreciate having the opportunity to express my thoughts about it because I go through those struggles and have to keep reminding myself that even though it's hard and I'm unsure there's still love out there. And just to piggyback on what you said about the lake. It hits my heart because my father passed away at a lake from drowning. Obviously it's not the same but we didn't know how he died and still to this day don't have a complete answer. So, I can understand what your friends family went through because I still have my questions. I do think and hope he's in a better place and in peace and maybe one day I'll find the answer but thank you for sharing. It makes me feel less alone. Much love and blessings to you!

Comment from AliMom

Excellent

What an extraordinary in-depth poem about depression. The confusion between the sufferer and those around him who would try to help is clear. The overwhelming, inexplicable feeling of sadness from which there is no escape is so poignantly expressed. Makes one understand the ultimate way out, not approve it, but understand it. Good job.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2021

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2021

Thank you for reading my poem and for your insightful comments....I appreciate them.

Comment from Aiona

Exceptional

Wow..... very good imagery and metaphor. And it rhymes even! I like rhyming poems. I think it takes quite a bit of skill to include rhyme, metaphor, and meter in such a poem to paint a picture of a submerged and sinking car and embue the reader with ESP into the mind of the soon-to-be deceased. Nicely done!

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2021

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2021

That you for this exceptional review and for your thoughtful comments...both are very appreciated.