Remembering Yesterday
Viewing comments for Chapter 103 "New House, New Projects"A widow's journey into her relationship with her
18 total reviews
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Wow! You had a lot more going on there, besides property changes. You did a good job helping to keep an eye on Connie, and helping to build her self-esteem with that room designing project. Meanwhile, it seems that you had all you could do to stop Don's girlfriend Kimberly from moving in -- bunny suit and all!
Here are my suggestions for changes. It looks like a lot, but mostly it's just matters of style, adding a comma and such:
It was the first time one of our children had uttered the words, "I hate you!' I can't wait to leave home."
-->
It was the first time one of our children had uttered the words, "I hate you!" She added, "I can't wait to leave home."
Christi got a job working as a receptionist for a Japanese Chemical company.
-->
Christi got a job working as a receptionist for a Japanese chemical company.
Most of her clothes in those days came from The Gap.
-->
Most of her clothes in those days came from the Gap.
You told them to stop doing that before someone got hurt.
-->
You told them to stop doing that, before someone got hurt.
On the second landing there was a wall on the left ...
-->
On the second landing, there was a wall on the left ...
We figured that it led to a space over our extra large double garage.
-->
We figured that it led to a space over our extra-large, double garage.
The floor for the area started about three feet higher than the landing so you got out your drafting tools and designed a way to make three steps going toward the space and began opening up another room.
-->
The floor for the area started about three feet higher than the landing, so you got out your drafting tools and designed a way to make three steps going toward the space, and began opening up another room.
We had a small hall leading to the three steps up to the new room and five steps leading up to the balcony on the right.
-->
We had a small hall leading to the three steps up to the new room, and five steps leading up to the balcony on the right.
Along with the sunken great room we had a multi-level house.
-->
Along with the sunken great room, we had a multi-level house.
She chose black and white tile around a 12 X 12 square of black carpet.
-->
She chose black and white tile, around a 12 x 12 square of black carpet.
I found a large fancy window at a salvage company that worked well for the back wall.
-->
I found a large, fancy window at a salvage company that worked well for the back wall.
This would be our first window that faced the West.
-->
This would be our first window that faced the west.
...it was not as close to a bathroom as the the other rooms were.
-->
...it was not as close to a bathroom as the other rooms were.
Now that we had five bedrooms, we had a guest room.
-->
Now that we had five bedrooms, we had a guest room besides.
Mom was anxious to see our new house so she and a cousin came up to visit for a week.
-->
Mom was anxious to see our new house, so she and a cousin came up to visit for a week.
Without us realizing it, Kimberly had started coming over late at night and sneaking around to the back of the house ...
-->
Without us realizing it, Kimberly had started coming over late at night, sneaking around to the back of the house ...
...you decided that it was time to put Kokomo in his house on the back deck which was beside Don's window.
-->
...you decided that it was time to put Kokomo in his house on the back deck, which was beside Don's window.
At times he was allowed inside, he went searching for shoes.
-->
Sometimes, when he was allowed inside, he went searching for shoes.
OR
However, when he was allowed inside, he went searching for shoes.
One day, he suggested that they get up early in the morning and go over to Lookout Mountain and watch the sunrise.
-->
One day, he suggested that they get up early in the morning, and go over to Lookout Mountain and watch the sunrise.
Their destination was Sunset rock.
-->
Their destination was Sunset Rock.
We still had our property in Mississippi and you had continued to sell timber from time to time.
-->
We still had our property in Mississippi, and you had continued to sell timber from time to time.
This made the pastor's wife so nervous she was afraid to live there.
-->
This made the pastor's wife so nervous, she was afraid to live there.
After the couple moved out another family with five children rented it.
-->
After the couple moved out, another family with five children rented it.
Still until we made a decision about what to do with it, the rental added a bit to our monthly income.
-->
Still, until we made a decision about what to do with it, the rental added a bit to our monthly income.
Your husband kept busy, even after he retired. It must have been hard when Connie lashed out at you. I know I gave my own Mom a very hard time, similar to that. We got through it, and I know that you did, too.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2021
  |
Wow! You had a lot more going on there, besides property changes. You did a good job helping to keep an eye on Connie, and helping to build her self-esteem with that room designing project. Meanwhile, it seems that you had all you could do to stop Don's girlfriend Kimberly from moving in -- bunny suit and all!
Here are my suggestions for changes. It looks like a lot, but mostly it's just matters of style, adding a comma and such:
It was the first time one of our children had uttered the words, "I hate you!' I can't wait to leave home."
-->
It was the first time one of our children had uttered the words, "I hate you!" She added, "I can't wait to leave home."
Christi got a job working as a receptionist for a Japanese Chemical company.
-->
Christi got a job working as a receptionist for a Japanese chemical company.
Most of her clothes in those days came from The Gap.
-->
Most of her clothes in those days came from the Gap.
You told them to stop doing that before someone got hurt.
-->
You told them to stop doing that, before someone got hurt.
On the second landing there was a wall on the left ...
-->
On the second landing, there was a wall on the left ...
We figured that it led to a space over our extra large double garage.
-->
We figured that it led to a space over our extra-large, double garage.
The floor for the area started about three feet higher than the landing so you got out your drafting tools and designed a way to make three steps going toward the space and began opening up another room.
-->
The floor for the area started about three feet higher than the landing, so you got out your drafting tools and designed a way to make three steps going toward the space, and began opening up another room.
We had a small hall leading to the three steps up to the new room and five steps leading up to the balcony on the right.
-->
We had a small hall leading to the three steps up to the new room, and five steps leading up to the balcony on the right.
Along with the sunken great room we had a multi-level house.
-->
Along with the sunken great room, we had a multi-level house.
She chose black and white tile around a 12 X 12 square of black carpet.
-->
She chose black and white tile, around a 12 x 12 square of black carpet.
I found a large fancy window at a salvage company that worked well for the back wall.
-->
I found a large, fancy window at a salvage company that worked well for the back wall.
This would be our first window that faced the West.
-->
This would be our first window that faced the west.
...it was not as close to a bathroom as the the other rooms were.
-->
...it was not as close to a bathroom as the other rooms were.
Now that we had five bedrooms, we had a guest room.
-->
Now that we had five bedrooms, we had a guest room besides.
Mom was anxious to see our new house so she and a cousin came up to visit for a week.
-->
Mom was anxious to see our new house, so she and a cousin came up to visit for a week.
Without us realizing it, Kimberly had started coming over late at night and sneaking around to the back of the house ...
-->
Without us realizing it, Kimberly had started coming over late at night, sneaking around to the back of the house ...
...you decided that it was time to put Kokomo in his house on the back deck which was beside Don's window.
-->
...you decided that it was time to put Kokomo in his house on the back deck, which was beside Don's window.
At times he was allowed inside, he went searching for shoes.
-->
Sometimes, when he was allowed inside, he went searching for shoes.
OR
However, when he was allowed inside, he went searching for shoes.
One day, he suggested that they get up early in the morning and go over to Lookout Mountain and watch the sunrise.
-->
One day, he suggested that they get up early in the morning, and go over to Lookout Mountain and watch the sunrise.
Their destination was Sunset rock.
-->
Their destination was Sunset Rock.
We still had our property in Mississippi and you had continued to sell timber from time to time.
-->
We still had our property in Mississippi, and you had continued to sell timber from time to time.
This made the pastor's wife so nervous she was afraid to live there.
-->
This made the pastor's wife so nervous, she was afraid to live there.
After the couple moved out another family with five children rented it.
-->
After the couple moved out, another family with five children rented it.
Still until we made a decision about what to do with it, the rental added a bit to our monthly income.
-->
Still, until we made a decision about what to do with it, the rental added a bit to our monthly income.
Your husband kept busy, even after he retired. It must have been hard when Connie lashed out at you. I know I gave my own Mom a very hard time, similar to that. We got through it, and I know that you did, too.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2021
-
Thank you so much, Mary Kay. I made a lot of work for you on this one. I see I left out an awful lot of commas. I know better. I'll try to read over it more carefully next time.
Beth
-
You're very welcome, as always, dear Beth. Sometimes it's just a matter of style. But I try to give you my best opinion. You're always so receptive and appreciative, which makes it all worth it!
Blessings and hugs, Mary Kay
-
There is another one but please don't feel obligated.
Beth
-
I always enjoy reviewing your stories, Beth! Sometimes I take it slow, but I am trying not to miss anything. Don't want to :-)
Comment from lyenochka
What a lot of comings and goings. I hope Don knows what he's getting into with Kimberly. And how hard it must have been for you going through that with Connie. I hope she chose better friends after that.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
 |
What a lot of comings and goings. I hope Don knows what he's getting into with Kimberly. And how hard it must have been for you going through that with Connie. I hope she chose better friends after that.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
-
Thank you for the review and comment. Connie gave us problems for a while. Kimberly is another story. If I keep writing, I'll eventually get to all of that.
Beth
Comment from Begin Again
Oh my, I'm not sure I would want to remember several of my children's teenage years - never really bad, but enough to grate on my nerves seriously. You are writing a marvelous series for your family to look back on. Bravo!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
|
Oh my, I'm not sure I would want to remember several of my children's teenage years - never really bad, but enough to grate on my nerves seriously. You are writing a marvelous series for your family to look back on. Bravo!
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
-
Thank you for the review and comment. I told her I was writing some bad stuff about her teenage years. She turned out well but she gave some headaches.
Beth
Comment from Ben Colder
You have had a very interesting life and I know at times you miss some of the moments. I could relate with your husband taking precaution with the improper actions from the neighbor girl. Sorry out of 6
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
|
You have had a very interesting life and I know at times you miss some of the moments. I could relate with your husband taking precaution with the improper actions from the neighbor girl. Sorry out of 6
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
-
I have had a good life, but I still feel life is good. People's attitude about life is pretty even unless their health keeps them in pain. My son used to quote some philosopher who said "wherever you go, there you are." I guess that means you carry your frame of mind with you, whatever your circumstances.
-
Yes you have and glad to have met you.
Comment from Sankey
I found this one all by myself! What a great chapter. Are Kimberley and Don "doing it?" after she gets in the back. Good reading and absolutely NO SPAGS! Wow!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
|
I found this one all by myself! What a great chapter. Are Kimberley and Don "doing it?" after she gets in the back. Good reading and absolutely NO SPAGS! Wow!
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
-
He claims that they didn't until they were married. It doesn't mean there were doing some heavy petting. Thank so much for the review.
I hope you are feeling better. You said ;you were sick on Facebook.
Beth
-
I am improving not sure I mentioned the UTI as well as the flu. UTI getting better flu on the improve. Slept better last night not getting up so much as previously. Thanks for caring.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Your recall continues to be amazing. The children sound like they all grew up, except Connie, as very responsible adults. Connie's teenage years seem to be a challenge that hopefully, she will overcome. The new house must have kept you fairly busy at the beginning with the innovative alterations.
Ralf
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
|
Your recall continues to be amazing. The children sound like they all grew up, except Connie, as very responsible adults. Connie's teenage years seem to be a challenge that hopefully, she will overcome. The new house must have kept you fairly busy at the beginning with the innovative alterations.
Ralf
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
-
Connie grew up to be the most responsible adult. The other three grew up, but sometimes I question their judgement. My grandmother used to say "Everyone climbs fool's hill sometimes. It's best to do it while you're young." Thanks so much for the review and comments.
Beth
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Never a dull moment. Very amusing--Kokomo on guard against Kimberly sneaking in. The sunrise bit is hilarious.
They sold a lot of unisex clothes [SEMICOLON] most of them were loose and didn't look very feminine.
She didn't see us quite as often as she had when we lived nearer, but she was seventy-five now and Dad was eighty. Having us visit them so often probably made more work for her than she needed.
SUGG=>
She didn't see us quite as often as she had when we lived nearer. Given that she was seventy-five now and Dad was eighty, having us visit them so often probably made more work for her than she needed.
You and Don had stored the furniture we had there when a pastor's family had contacted us about renting it. DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU STORED THE FURNITURE BECAUSE THE PASTOR WANTED IT, or stored it UNTIL the pastor moved in (with his own furniture)?
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
|
Never a dull moment. Very amusing--Kokomo on guard against Kimberly sneaking in. The sunrise bit is hilarious.
They sold a lot of unisex clothes [SEMICOLON] most of them were loose and didn't look very feminine.
She didn't see us quite as often as she had when we lived nearer, but she was seventy-five now and Dad was eighty. Having us visit them so often probably made more work for her than she needed.
SUGG=>
She didn't see us quite as often as she had when we lived nearer. Given that she was seventy-five now and Dad was eighty, having us visit them so often probably made more work for her than she needed.
You and Don had stored the furniture we had there when a pastor's family had contacted us about renting it. DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU STORED THE FURNITURE BECAUSE THE PASTOR WANTED IT, or stored it UNTIL the pastor moved in (with his own furniture)?
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
-
Thank you for the review. Yep, Kimberly didn't care for Kokomo. It stopped her nightly visits. Thank for the suggestion for rewording. It sounds better that way.
Beth
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Beth, this chapter is an honest revelation of what your own children did, both good and bad as they developed their own personalities. As human beings, we change as we grow and mature. People do change their nature, but it sounds like Kokomo never did. (smile)
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
|
Dear Beth, this chapter is an honest revelation of what your own children did, both good and bad as they developed their own personalities. As human beings, we change as we grow and mature. People do change their nature, but it sounds like Kokomo never did. (smile)
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
-
Thank you Suzanne. Yes, my children did eventually mature and they all seem to care about me so I'm not complaining. Kokomo was an interesting dog that never to over his irritable disposition. He may have scared some prowlers aways. The problem was he scared almost everyone.
Comment from forestport12
Small town rumors about ghost and a nervous pastor's wife. I like the homespun and realism of the family improving themselves, and I can see and relate to the maturity and growth as a couple. So much you write is relatable.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
|
Small town rumors about ghost and a nervous pastor's wife. I like the homespun and realism of the family improving themselves, and I can see and relate to the maturity and growth as a couple. So much you write is relatable.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
-
Thank you so much for your review and comments. I appreciate you reading my story.
Beth
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Connie sounds like a typical teen. They seem to like testing their parents to see how much they can get away with. In a hurry to grow up. Your new home sounds nice. Was it expensive to heat? Good job, Beth. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
|
Connie sounds like a typical teen. They seem to like testing their parents to see how much they can get away with. In a hurry to grow up. Your new home sounds nice. Was it expensive to heat? Good job, Beth. Nancy:)
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
-
Thank you for the review and comments. The heating wasn't bad. We had gas but we also had two fireplaces that burned wood. The air conditioning was a little worse in the summer because it tended to be warm upstairs.
