Remembering Yesterday
Viewing comments for Chapter 104 "The Shelbys in Motion"A widow's journey into her relationship with her
18 total reviews
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
I like your title on this chapter! You continue to hold my interest, with so many developments in your lives. But I do wonder what kind of food the Shelbys were eating -- you don't usually write about your meals. I guess you were a very action-oriented family, not sitting around eating and gaining weight! (I grew up in an Italian home, where food was very important, especially for dinners on special occasions. And yes, some of us did gain weight!)
Here are the errors I found, with suggested revisions:
going over to the Hamilton Place Mall and walking everyday.
-->
going over to the Hamilton Place Mall and walking every day.
They made a three day trip to St Louis,
-->
They made a three-day trip to St. Louis,
Sometimes she and our Connie would go over to Connie W's apartment ...
-->
Sometimes she and our Connie would go over to Connie W.'s apartment ...
...if we were going to one of scenic spots out of town.
-->
...if we were going to one of the scenic spots out of town.
...doing art work was enjoyable,
-->
...doing artwork was enjoyable,
Curtis, who did the camera work and pletemaking was deaf.
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Curtis, who did the camera work and plate making was deaf. [you might want to write "hearing impaired" which seems to be the currently acceptable term]
Janice was new and she mostly there to touch up negarives.
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Janice was new and she was mostly there to touch up negatives. [note 2 errors to fix]
***
I am very curious to know what will happen with Don and Kimberly; and also with your new job -- it must have been so strange to be a new employee, just finding out that so many others had either left or been laid off. Yes, you can learn a lot by staying quiet! I guess you'll learn whether or not you made the right choice, when you decided to change jobs, among other things.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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I like your title on this chapter! You continue to hold my interest, with so many developments in your lives. But I do wonder what kind of food the Shelbys were eating -- you don't usually write about your meals. I guess you were a very action-oriented family, not sitting around eating and gaining weight! (I grew up in an Italian home, where food was very important, especially for dinners on special occasions. And yes, some of us did gain weight!)
Here are the errors I found, with suggested revisions:
going over to the Hamilton Place Mall and walking everyday.
-->
going over to the Hamilton Place Mall and walking every day.
They made a three day trip to St Louis,
-->
They made a three-day trip to St. Louis,
Sometimes she and our Connie would go over to Connie W's apartment ...
-->
Sometimes she and our Connie would go over to Connie W.'s apartment ...
...if we were going to one of scenic spots out of town.
-->
...if we were going to one of the scenic spots out of town.
...doing art work was enjoyable,
-->
...doing artwork was enjoyable,
Curtis, who did the camera work and pletemaking was deaf.
-->
Curtis, who did the camera work and plate making was deaf. [you might want to write "hearing impaired" which seems to be the currently acceptable term]
Janice was new and she mostly there to touch up negarives.
-->
Janice was new and she was mostly there to touch up negatives. [note 2 errors to fix]
***
I am very curious to know what will happen with Don and Kimberly; and also with your new job -- it must have been so strange to be a new employee, just finding out that so many others had either left or been laid off. Yes, you can learn a lot by staying quiet! I guess you'll learn whether or not you made the right choice, when you decided to change jobs, among other things.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Thank you Mary Kay for the review and comments and excellent help. I'm sorry I didn't get back to your sooner. I sent the day with two of my daughters yesterday. About the food, If Evan cooked, we had simple meal like a vegetable and cornbread and he liked chicken. If I cooked sometime is was spaghetti, pizza, sloppy joes, or casseroles I did a roast and potatoes and vegetables sometimes.
I stayed with the job five years. You'll find out about Kimberly.
Thank again for you help.
Beth
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You're very welcome, Beth. Thanks for answering my questions -- you're so sweet! So you shared the cooking responsibilities, that's really great -- and a variety of food, including that southern cornbread!
I'm glad you had a day with two of your daughters. I hope it was fun. God bless you and your family!
Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from RetroStarfish
Great chapter. You've foreshadowed trouble to come with Kimberly and ended with a cliff hanger. I really enjoyed reading this.
A couple of really minor typos:
'the night.. Christi and Connie had lived...' [extra period]
who I'd met when introviewed, introduced me. [interviewed.]
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2021
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Great chapter. You've foreshadowed trouble to come with Kimberly and ended with a cliff hanger. I really enjoyed reading this.
A couple of really minor typos:
'the night.. Christi and Connie had lived...' [extra period]
who I'd met when introviewed, introduced me. [interviewed.]
Comment Written 21-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and comment and for noticing the typos.
Beth
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Well Beth, no surprise here. Your family is as active as ever. Only Carol is missing. With new horizons to discover life does take on a bit of energy.
Don has some serious decisions to make and I'm wondering if you shouldn't have stayed at that other job. No problems here with Connie, so that is good. Time does mature young ones. Sounds like a nice place to settle in.
Ralf
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2021
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Well Beth, no surprise here. Your family is as active as ever. Only Carol is missing. With new horizons to discover life does take on a bit of energy.
Don has some serious decisions to make and I'm wondering if you shouldn't have stayed at that other job. No problems here with Connie, so that is good. Time does mature young ones. Sounds like a nice place to settle in.
Ralf
Comment Written 21-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2021
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Thank you Ralf, Actually Carol and Glen did come that Christmas, and liked our new house. I forgot to put that in. She wasn't telling me much about what was going on with them. I would learn later that on many levels they weren't that compatible. They argued over everything.
Beth
Comment from Ben Colder
Must agree with this write Amazing how people of the Word react to the scriptures sometimes with out realizing. Proverbs teaches to be swift to hear and slow to speak.
I can see Don doing the carpentry things from is draftsman father. Hidden desire to build. Skill showed in fence building as well.
We did he stop flying. Did the Blood pressure thing have an effect?
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Must agree with this write Amazing how people of the Word react to the scriptures sometimes with out realizing. Proverbs teaches to be swift to hear and slow to speak.
I can see Don doing the carpentry things from is draftsman father. Hidden desire to build. Skill showed in fence building as well.
We did he stop flying. Did the Blood pressure thing have an effect?
Comment Written 20-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Thanks for the review. Don is a better builder and carpenter than his Dad was. Even could put up an fence and grow a garden and design anything on paper but he wasn't as fast or as good as Don with building.. Don has is an excellent builder. He is remodeling his house now.
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u r blessed.
Comment from mermaids
Your full life of a new job and your children's friends and their schooling,. remains interesting. Many people use to make walk when make were at their peak. Excellent writing that takes the reader on a journey through your life with your husband and children.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Your full life of a new job and your children's friends and their schooling,. remains interesting. Many people use to make walk when make were at their peak. Excellent writing that takes the reader on a journey through your life with your husband and children.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Thank you for the review. I enjoy your comments and I'm pleased you are still reading my story.
Beth
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Beth, You titled this chapter just right, indeed the whole family was in motion. I am glad that you got the better paying job at the printing company but there were two ominous notes that you included in that paragraph. Number one, the low morale at the company, and number two, the low cost housing project.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Dear Beth, You titled this chapter just right, indeed the whole family was in motion. I am glad that you got the better paying job at the printing company but there were two ominous notes that you included in that paragraph. Number one, the low morale at the company, and number two, the low cost housing project.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Those things were the draw backs but it turned out okay for a few years. Thanks so much for the review and comments.
Beth
Comment from Lyn Peters
Love that your family had (has) such diverse interests - singing in the church choir, joining bell choir, hiking. And, you and your family held such interesting jobs. As always, appreciate your sharing these snippet of family life with your readers. I'll look forward to finding you how things went with the new job (where morale was low). Best regards.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Love that your family had (has) such diverse interests - singing in the church choir, joining bell choir, hiking. And, you and your family held such interesting jobs. As always, appreciate your sharing these snippet of family life with your readers. I'll look forward to finding you how things went with the new job (where morale was low). Best regards.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Thank you for continuing to read my story. I enjoy your comments.
Beth
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I certainly agree with that. I have always been that way. Not much of a conversationalist because of it, and I believe in keeping a low profile when I am among strangers.
Good job. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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I certainly agree with that. I have always been that way. Not much of a conversationalist because of it, and I believe in keeping a low profile when I am among strangers.
Good job. Nancy:)
Comment Written 20-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Thank you Nancy. I appreciate the review and comment as always.
Beth
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Once again I enjoyed reading. I have enjoyed a few times visiting Lookout Mountain and the area. I've pointed out a few places that have extra works. There are more. You might want to watch that, especially if you are interested in getting this published.
but Don hesitated about telling her that he'd met someone else and that they were dating. (extra words, else and they were dating)
The new owner, who I had met when I was interviewed, introduced me as someone with a pleasant personality and a nice smile, but mentioned that I was a bit on the quiet side (extra words who I had met when interviewed & mentioned I was ...)
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Once again I enjoyed reading. I have enjoyed a few times visiting Lookout Mountain and the area. I've pointed out a few places that have extra works. There are more. You might want to watch that, especially if you are interested in getting this published.
but Don hesitated about telling her that he'd met someone else and that they were dating. (extra words, else and they were dating)
The new owner, who I had met when I was interviewed, introduced me as someone with a pleasant personality and a nice smile, but mentioned that I was a bit on the quiet side (extra words who I had met when interviewed & mentioned I was ...)
Comment Written 20-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Thank you for the review and the suggestions. As always they are good one and I will take out a bit of the extra wording .
Beth
Comment from Mistydawn
It sounds like the kids are settling in nicely, making new friends. I wonder if this thing with Don and Denise was to test the waters, see if he's making the right choice. Hopefully the choir and her new friends will help Connie with her defiance. I hate to hear about your job being in jeopardy. Your chapter is well-written, interesting, I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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It sounds like the kids are settling in nicely, making new friends. I wonder if this thing with Don and Denise was to test the waters, see if he's making the right choice. Hopefully the choir and her new friends will help Connie with her defiance. I hate to hear about your job being in jeopardy. Your chapter is well-written, interesting, I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Thank you for the review and comments. There was always something going on with the kids. Connie isn't through causing trouble and I stay with that job for quite a while.
Beth
