Play another Day
Another random act of violence:45 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Holey Moley! where does all that stuff come from? All that action, perfectly timed to meld together? where does writing like that come from? I don't have it.
I write short stories on viganettes mostly. A few days maybe in someone's small life. No big city stuff really. Small town stuff. Rural mostly. though I have not lived like that in this life time. Very good work. Karen
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2023
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Holey Moley! where does all that stuff come from? All that action, perfectly timed to meld together? where does writing like that come from? I don't have it.
I write short stories on viganettes mostly. A few days maybe in someone's small life. No big city stuff really. Small town stuff. Rural mostly. though I have not lived like that in this life time. Very good work. Karen
Comment Written 27-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, Karen, for another outstanding and encouraging review. You've got all the tools to do whatever you want and I look forward to reading your new levels of experimentation. I never know what I might right, but it's all started from trying to take myself outside my comfort zone all the time. I like what you write, and I'm glad you like some of my foolishness. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
This is written in such a way that I'm in Zach's shoes - I know how he feels, the slime covering him, the fear of death, and the regret of having to end an innocent animal's life.
The thing I appreciate the most about this piece is that you take your time with it. You give us a full accounting of Zach's escape, detailing every single move on his part in a slow, deliberate, you're right there with me account. Where many writers would have raced through this, you force us to stay and experience each electrifying moment.
I've read a couple of your "violent street" pieces, and you strike me as someone who has maybe not "been there, done that," but has "been close and seen that."
Excellent writing. I don't have any sixes left or I would:-)
reply by the author on 24-May-2023
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This is written in such a way that I'm in Zach's shoes - I know how he feels, the slime covering him, the fear of death, and the regret of having to end an innocent animal's life.
The thing I appreciate the most about this piece is that you take your time with it. You give us a full accounting of Zach's escape, detailing every single move on his part in a slow, deliberate, you're right there with me account. Where many writers would have raced through this, you force us to stay and experience each electrifying moment.
I've read a couple of your "violent street" pieces, and you strike me as someone who has maybe not "been there, done that," but has "been close and seen that."
Excellent writing. I don't have any sixes left or I would:-)
Comment Written 24-May-2023
reply by the author on 24-May-2023
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Thank you so much, Pam, for your kind words and generous review. Your perception is spot on. I have seen and been around more than any man should have. But you're right, I've always carefully managed to keep my own nose clean, other than a few blood splatters and brain particles. LOL. I'm sure this story isn't your cup of tea, which makes me all the more appreciative that you've taken time to read it. I appreciate YOU!
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You'd be surprised at what's in my cup of tea:-) I enjoyed this story all the more because of the way you wrote it.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Could relate to much of what Zack felt in Paragraph One.
The idiots shot the dog. Shoot them!
Zack killing the dog meant he had to put it out of its misery.
Lot of intense action in this tale that draws the reader in to see if Zack can escape those wanting to murder him.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2022
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Could relate to much of what Zack felt in Paragraph One.
The idiots shot the dog. Shoot them!
Zack killing the dog meant he had to put it out of its misery.
Lot of intense action in this tale that draws the reader in to see if Zack can escape those wanting to murder him.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2022
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You always start my day off on a happy note when I wake up and find another of your kind and encouraging reviews. Especially, one with a chartreuse plus sign, given more in kindness than for expertise. We put animals out of their misery, yet we let people suffer. But to shoot either would be a daunting task. That's the one part of this story I thought many times about deleting, but didn't. I appreciate you stories, reviews, and most of all YOU!
Comment from lyenochka
Oh, after reading your notes, I won't ask why. But you really put us into Zack's experience. I kept waiting for the video game to end but apparently, poor Zack lives like that! Great storytelling! Congrats on the Story of the Month!
Loved the paragraph beginning with "Time honored in segments, ..." What a great observation about the perception of time!
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
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Oh, after reading your notes, I won't ask why. But you really put us into Zack's experience. I kept waiting for the video game to end but apparently, poor Zack lives like that! Great storytelling! Congrats on the Story of the Month!
Loved the paragraph beginning with "Time honored in segments, ..." What a great observation about the perception of time!
Comment Written 04-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
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Thanks for reading yet another of my old stories that offers nothing in return. I'm always honored such a talented writer and extremely busy reviewer takes time out of your busy schedule for my foolishness. So kind and considerate, Helen, you are another precious commodity that compares to water and time. Blessings for the many smiles you spread every day!
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I'm like water and time? - does that mean I can slip away unnoticed? Or fill out whatever space you give me? Lol. Thank you for your sweet words, Ric! I think you're the most popular writer here for one who rarely posts. Let me know if there's anything you'd like me to review. I go hunting when the Inbox isn't overflowing like on the weekends. 💖
Comment from JennaG
I haven't been doing much on this site for a while, but saw that you placed very well in the Story of the Month contest and just had to congratulate you! That is so awesome!!! I can definitely see why with this piece. It took me on a journey of emotions. The dog had me close to tears, the killers had me angry, and Zack getting away had me cheering! Once again, your character and setting descriptions are so vivid and creative that I felt like I was right there in the action. So very well done! Congratulations again to you! :)
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
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I haven't been doing much on this site for a while, but saw that you placed very well in the Story of the Month contest and just had to congratulate you! That is so awesome!!! I can definitely see why with this piece. It took me on a journey of emotions. The dog had me close to tears, the killers had me angry, and Zack getting away had me cheering! Once again, your character and setting descriptions are so vivid and creative that I felt like I was right there in the action. So very well done! Congratulations again to you! :)
Comment Written 28-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much, JennaG, for the extra-special six-star review. But most of all, for your kindness and always encouraging words that have been a great motivation over the years. I had no idea that you had even noticed these last two posts when I read your first. Now, I'm like a little kind in the candy store, jumping up and down, hoping I don't wet my pants. LOL. It's so good to see you!
Comment from oliver818
This is a very nice story. It flows well and is exciting and interesting in all the right places. I think you could probably make this into a longer piece if you wanted too. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2021
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This is a very nice story. It flows well and is exciting and interesting in all the right places. I think you could probably make this into a longer piece if you wanted too. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
Comment Written 01-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much, Oliver818, for your kind words and generous review. Your comments and encouragement are greatly appreciated. It's always nice when talented writers like something I've written. Thanks, again.
Comment from JudyE
This is very powerful writing, with some very evocative descriptions throughout.
In a couple of places, I might have made one sentence out of two, as here: 'Then, startled, he froze in place. Blasted by Black Sabbath's deafening "War Pigs" as a drunk pushed open the roughneck-bar's front door and staggered out.' but it's of little consequence.
Congratulations on such a well-written piece.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2021
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This is very powerful writing, with some very evocative descriptions throughout.
In a couple of places, I might have made one sentence out of two, as here: 'Then, startled, he froze in place. Blasted by Black Sabbath's deafening "War Pigs" as a drunk pushed open the roughneck-bar's front door and staggered out.' but it's of little consequence.
Congratulations on such a well-written piece.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much, JudyE, for your kind words and extra-special six-star review. The sentence you brought up gave me fits. I changed it from one to two, back to one, back to two, every time I reread it. I still don't like it, but finally decided it's just a sentence. The dilemma was wanting the deafening music and the guy stumbling from the bar in the same instance; although, they are two different things and happenings. Oh, well, who knows, I may change it again. LOL. Your encouraging review is greatly appreciated. You've made my week! :-)
Comment from LJbutterfly
Prior to my retirement working with veterans, I visited homeless shelters and discovered some were homeless due to hard times, while others were homeless for the adventure. Zack sounded adventurous. Your descriptions are phenomenal, tantalizing my imagination. I spent extra moments on the phrase, "Exhibiting the grace of a wobbling ballerina in leg braces..." Like how does that even look? Haha. This story is suspenseful and masterfully written.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Prior to my retirement working with veterans, I visited homeless shelters and discovered some were homeless due to hard times, while others were homeless for the adventure. Zack sounded adventurous. Your descriptions are phenomenal, tantalizing my imagination. I spent extra moments on the phrase, "Exhibiting the grace of a wobbling ballerina in leg braces..." Like how does that even look? Haha. This story is suspenseful and masterfully written.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much, LJbutterfly, for your kind words and extra-special six-star review. I don't really know myself how a ballerina wobbling in leg braces looks, but I guess it all depends how many bottles of wine they've had. LOL. I can't thank you enough for encouragement. But most of all, I'm honored whenever such a talented writer as yourself take the time to bolster this old hacks confidence. I enjoy your writing! And appreciate YOU!
Comment from estory
I thought the colorful, descriptive language really drove this piece, the scene with the killers playing this cat and mouse game with this homeless man, in this morbid, dilapitated place was really tense. The fact that we never know why they are chasing him makes it all the more horrific, all the more frightening. The scene where he puts the dog out of his misery by choking it to death was also an eye popper. All the details of the scenes, and the explosion at the end that engulfs the killers in the inferno, puts us right in the middle of it. Great suspense too. estory
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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I thought the colorful, descriptive language really drove this piece, the scene with the killers playing this cat and mouse game with this homeless man, in this morbid, dilapitated place was really tense. The fact that we never know why they are chasing him makes it all the more horrific, all the more frightening. The scene where he puts the dog out of his misery by choking it to death was also an eye popper. All the details of the scenes, and the explosion at the end that engulfs the killers in the inferno, puts us right in the middle of it. Great suspense too. estory
Comment Written 30-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much, estory, for your kind words and extra-special six-star review. Encouraging praise from such talented writers as you that keeps me and others motivated and trying to improve their craft. You have made my week! And, I appreciate YOU!
Comment from papa55mike
That kind of violence is too prevalent in our society today. The homeless situation today is a black eye on America. What a wonderfully written story. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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That kind of violence is too prevalent in our society today. The homeless situation today is a black eye on America. What a wonderfully written story. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 30-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Hello, Mike, and thank you so much for your kind words and extra-special six-star review. Sadly, our world is in a terrible state, bubbling over with senseless anger and hatred. It's the encouragement from talented writers like you that keeps me plugging along. I can't thank you enough and appreciate you greatly!
