Remembering Yesterday
Viewing comments for Chapter 152 "Caregiver for My Dad"A widow's journey into her relationship with her
12 total reviews
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Tough times. Inheriting dad, stuck with Christi and a flea-ridden kitten. Christi is a piece of work--will she EVER leave? This narrative is superb--the &*(#@!! cat tirade is priceless.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Tough times. Inheriting dad, stuck with Christi and a flea-ridden kitten. Christi is a piece of work--will she EVER leave? This narrative is superb--the &*(#@!! cat tirade is priceless.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Thank you Elizabeth. It is so good to have you still around to read my post but I miss getting to read yours. I don't know what is happening with the storytelling vacuum repairman.
Beth
Comment from Spitfire
I don't know what year this was, but nowadays, daughters and sons stick their parents into assisted living homes and I wonder they can afford it! But usually the parents prefer it to living with their children!
Funny your dad's reaction to the doctor. I had the same shock when I sold our house and moved us to an assisted living place and a new doctor. Same kind of surprise when I had to find a new dentist.
Humor also helps a story. Love the bit about Dad's cat.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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I don't know what year this was, but nowadays, daughters and sons stick their parents into assisted living homes and I wonder they can afford it! But usually the parents prefer it to living with their children!
Funny your dad's reaction to the doctor. I had the same shock when I sold our house and moved us to an assisted living place and a new doctor. Same kind of surprise when I had to find a new dentist.
Humor also helps a story. Love the bit about Dad's cat.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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This was 1995. My dad would have hated being in an assisted living or a nursing home, and he was of the generation where family took care of the elderly. Of course, he didn't like being a burden on me either. Personally, I don't want to live with my kids although my son and daughter-in-law claim to want me. She is oriental and they still take care of their parents. I probably won't go there if I have a choice. Thanks for review and comments.
Beth
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My husband invited my mother to move in with us. She loved it. Me? Not so much.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Between aging parents, children having problems, and all the daily problems and responsibilities, the pressures of life can be great sometimes. But, in truth, we wouldn't have it any other way. Well, maybe just a little. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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Between aging parents, children having problems, and all the daily problems and responsibilities, the pressures of life can be great sometimes. But, in truth, we wouldn't have it any other way. Well, maybe just a little. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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Thank you for a excellent review and comments. There were times I wished it wasn't my responsibility, but I'm glad I did it and had that time with my dad.
Beth
Comment from Ulla
Oh, I have miscalculated, Beth,. I so wanted to give this a six and only now did I realise I don't have any left. Dang!!
As always, I follow your story with great interest. It's so well written. Can't wait for what's next. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022
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Oh, I have miscalculated, Beth,. I so wanted to give this a six and only now did I realise I don't have any left. Dang!!
As always, I follow your story with great interest. It's so well written. Can't wait for what's next. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 11-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022
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Thank you Ulla, I really appreciate you continuing to follow my story. Don't worry about the stars. I happy with five.
Beth
Comment from K. Lang-Slattery
For the purpose you state, as a journal for your children, this work serves well enough. However, my advise would be to try to write it more cohesively with some kind of message or smaller themes that tie part together. As it stands, it reads like a diary that simply catalogues happenings without tying them together in any way. Even our own children can set aside something that lacks emotional interest. Also, if you want your children to know their father, Evan needs to have more character and personality to make him come alive. I think he should be more than a sounding board you talk too. You could imagine what he would respond to your comments and how he might react. See the great novel AKIN by Emma Donoghue to see how this can be done.
Some specific editing notes:
. "The bed (in the room - unnecessary and confusing) he was using was too soft "
. would be better(better than what? this word implies a comparison) to buy . . .
. ever since he got (to a point) where he couldn't get around.
. was having, ( run-on sentence....maybe end after having and start new sentence with he) and he wanted the cat in his room at all times.
. another place to break a too long sentence. " privacy, because he"
. check tense. "She had lost her abi. . " doesn't need to be past perfect.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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For the purpose you state, as a journal for your children, this work serves well enough. However, my advise would be to try to write it more cohesively with some kind of message or smaller themes that tie part together. As it stands, it reads like a diary that simply catalogues happenings without tying them together in any way. Even our own children can set aside something that lacks emotional interest. Also, if you want your children to know their father, Evan needs to have more character and personality to make him come alive. I think he should be more than a sounding board you talk too. You could imagine what he would respond to your comments and how he might react. See the great novel AKIN by Emma Donoghue to see how this can be done.
Some specific editing notes:
. "The bed (in the room - unnecessary and confusing) he was using was too soft "
. would be better(better than what? this word implies a comparison) to buy . . .
. ever since he got (to a point) where he couldn't get around.
. was having, ( run-on sentence....maybe end after having and start new sentence with he) and he wanted the cat in his room at all times.
. another place to break a too long sentence. " privacy, because he"
. check tense. "She had lost her abi. . " doesn't need to be past perfect.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Thank you for your in depth review and comments. I'm glad since you are only giving four star, you are stating what you think could be improved. I guess it works for some and not others. It's a little late to change my style. This is the 152 chapter and the book has 2022 reviews and many or them are six star reviews. My children are reading it as I write it and and they love it. I will take all of your specific editing notes into account. Thanks again.
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I'm glad your children are enjoying your memoir. That said, it's never too late to make changes to improve writing you might want to publish at some point. I wrote my novel first as YA non-fiction, then on the advice of an agent, I rewrote the whole thing as a novel and it was much improved! Now my novel has won prizes and lots of readers. Never stop working to improve your writing. I would encourage you to try show more about your husband and his character.
Comment from lyenochka
You're amazing to handle all the stresses of being your dad's caregiver and at the same time managing the household and worrying about all your children and their lives. I'm so glad you got into writing!!
interested in bying it but no firm offers. (buying)
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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You're amazing to handle all the stresses of being your dad's caregiver and at the same time managing the household and worrying about all your children and their lives. I'm so glad you got into writing!!
interested in bying it but no firm offers. (buying)
Comment Written 10-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much Helen. Yes this an adjustment for me but it was also the first time I'd had a little time to see if I would be able to write.
Beth
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I'm glad you used the time to start writing as it's good therapy considering all the stress you were under! 💖
Comment from royowen
Fortunately we didn't have parental problems when we were younger, with my parents being taken care of by nursing homes. Dad was completely paralysed and needed full time medical care, and mum collapsed a few times and was unable to pick herself up, and it hard for me, impossible by Elaine, we were frightened she'd lie there when we were out, beautifully written Beth, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Fortunately we didn't have parental problems when we were younger, with my parents being taken care of by nursing homes. Dad was completely paralysed and needed full time medical care, and mum collapsed a few times and was unable to pick herself up, and it hard for me, impossible by Elaine, we were frightened she'd lie there when we were out, beautifully written Beth, blessings Roy
Comment Written 10-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Thank you Roy, I appreciate you reading and commenting on this. If there is more than one child you can get input from the others. Since there was just me, I was the one to make the decision.
Beth
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That?s true
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your chapter reads well, Beth. You expressed your thoughts and feelings of being a caregiver well. I believe that job is one where no matter what you do, it isn't enough, However, you just have to believe you are doing the best you can and let comments from others slide. The information on your kids was interesting. I don't understand why Christi was no help to you in caring for her granddad. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Your chapter reads well, Beth. You expressed your thoughts and feelings of being a caregiver well. I believe that job is one where no matter what you do, it isn't enough, However, you just have to believe you are doing the best you can and let comments from others slide. The information on your kids was interesting. I don't understand why Christi was no help to you in caring for her granddad. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 10-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Thank you Jan. I really appreciate the review and comments. My Christi was was always so caught up with her own problems that she couldn't seem realize we could have used some help. My dad was her grandfather, and she always insisted that she loved him more than anyone else, but when it came to doing anything to help she always had something more important to do.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this post with us. I always enjoy reading your memoirs. I know I've said it before, but I think it's a good idea to write these down for your children and grandchildren to read.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Thank you for sharing this post with us. I always enjoy reading your memoirs. I know I've said it before, but I think it's a good idea to write these down for your children and grandchildren to read.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Barbara. I appreciate you continuing to read and comment on my story.
Beth
Comment from Judy Lawless
What a complicated life you had at this time, Beth. You've done a great job sharing it with us. You were a perfect example of the "sandwich generation".
One suggestion: "She had other friends which(who) she played volleyball with," - who and whom refer to people whereas which and than refer to inanimate objects. Grammar rules have changed since I studied them. I would have written the whole sentence this way in the day: She had other friends with whom she played volleyball. - it eliminates the dangling participle "with" but some consider this form pretentious these days so it's up to you. :)
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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What a complicated life you had at this time, Beth. You've done a great job sharing it with us. You were a perfect example of the "sandwich generation".
One suggestion: "She had other friends which(who) she played volleyball with," - who and whom refer to people whereas which and than refer to inanimate objects. Grammar rules have changed since I studied them. I would have written the whole sentence this way in the day: She had other friends with whom she played volleyball. - it eliminates the dangling participle "with" but some consider this form pretentious these days so it's up to you. :)
Comment Written 10-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Thank you Judy. I really appreciate the review and thank you for your suggestion. I'm always a little uncomfortable with the work "whom" because I don't hear many using it but it is correct so I will change that sentence.
Beth
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You are most welcome, Beth.
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Her daughter was the one who had an extremely short lifetime. Sad.
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Her daughter was the one who had an extremely short lifetime. Sad.
