The Miranda Chronicles
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Welcome the Calm (Miranda)"Miranda solves a mystery.
16 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You have an interesting story going here with a lot of potential. Miranda is an appealing and feisty character. There are a few things you might want to change: Every (space) time . . . Today she (has) confronted ... well-known . . . point(,) had a . . . Sher(iff) footsteps on pavement (grow) louder . . . jackass . . . I suggest you read what you have written aloud to yourself and listen closely. You have a few other little problems you will catch if you read i aloud.
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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2022
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You have an interesting story going here with a lot of potential. Miranda is an appealing and feisty character. There are a few things you might want to change: Every (space) time . . . Today she (has) confronted ... well-known . . . point(,) had a . . . Sher(iff) footsteps on pavement (grow) louder . . . jackass . . . I suggest you read what you have written aloud to yourself and listen closely. You have a few other little problems you will catch if you read i aloud.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2022
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Thank you so much for this thorough review.. I appreciate the help more than I can express here. Thank you again. Gretchen
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Okay, I'm in. You've written and engaging chapter that hooks the reader and causes them to want more.
Good writing and good pace. Is this the beginning?
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2022
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Okay, I'm in. You've written and engaging chapter that hooks the reader and causes them to want more.
Good writing and good pace. Is this the beginning?
Comment Written 29-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2022
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Thank you. This is a continuation of a book that wasn't really going to be a book. I'm glad you enjoyed it. The first chapter is "Allow Me to Introduce myself". Again, thank you for reading and your comments. Gretchen
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I have to agree with Miranda. A woman alone while working
at night is vulnerable. She put together a great plan to help
herself, Gretchen. Apparently, she and Mitch have some kind
agreement where she won't be arrested. Could he be sweet on
her? You did a great job giving readers many details of the
possible break in. I liked how Miranda didn't pry into Waylon's
phone after she got home. I believe that one hour scuba trip
will take much longer, and who knows what they will run into,
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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I have to agree with Miranda. A woman alone while working
at night is vulnerable. She put together a great plan to help
herself, Gretchen. Apparently, she and Mitch have some kind
agreement where she won't be arrested. Could he be sweet on
her? You did a great job giving readers many details of the
possible break in. I liked how Miranda didn't pry into Waylon's
phone after she got home. I believe that one hour scuba trip
will take much longer, and who knows what they will run into,
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 27-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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I think Mitch knows she just can't help herself. Lol. Thank you for the awesome review. Gretchen
Comment from lyenochka
Whew! You had me scared about who could be at the backdoor. But it was just Office Mitch making his rounds. Now why didn't he tell her that earlier? And why does he need to change? Did she scare him that badly?
I hope this diving venture makes it worth Miranda's risk! I'm thinking just the exposure to the pond scum is bad enough.
One typo:
"Sure. What do you need to ask?: (end quotes morphed into a colon)
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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Whew! You had me scared about who could be at the backdoor. But it was just Office Mitch making his rounds. Now why didn't he tell her that earlier? And why does he need to change? Did she scare him that badly?
I hope this diving venture makes it worth Miranda's risk! I'm thinking just the exposure to the pond scum is bad enough.
One typo:
"Sure. What do you need to ask?: (end quotes morphed into a colon)
Comment Written 27-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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Thanks for alerting me to the spags. I appreciate the help. I think he was joking about having to change. I think she will just supervise. Thanks for your insightful review. Gretchen
Comment from damommy
Whew! It wasn't a burglar or stalker after all. Instead of throwing the can of peas, the best way to use that as a weapon would be to swing the bag with the peas in it. Ouch!
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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Whew! It wasn't a burglar or stalker after all. Instead of throwing the can of peas, the best way to use that as a weapon would be to swing the bag with the peas in it. Ouch!
Comment Written 27-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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I'm sure in her head it was a perfect plan. Lol. Thank you so much for this awesome review. Gretchen
Comment from John Ciarmello
Miranda is quite a character. We saw a little bit of her more vulnerable side this time which I enjoyed, but not above her sarcastic wit. The characters and, of course, your dialog is what draws me to this book. I love it all! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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Miranda is quite a character. We saw a little bit of her more vulnerable side this time which I enjoyed, but not above her sarcastic wit. The characters and, of course, your dialog is what draws me to this book. I love it all! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 27-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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Awe, thank you. It makes me feel so good to know you like it. Thank you for this detailed review. Gretchen
Comment from Ric Myworld
I always consider it a privilege when you post a few chapters a week, rather than everybody's usual once a week. But it doesn't do much for improving your star count, since me and about everyone else is out by Thursday. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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I always consider it a privilege when you post a few chapters a week, rather than everybody's usual once a week. But it doesn't do much for improving your star count, since me and about everyone else is out by Thursday. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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I'm doing my darnedest not to focus on ratings. I'm going for critique and improving. But I won't turn down a six star. Lol. Thank you so much. Gretchen
Comment from Sankey
Well done. Good idea to let Waylon check his mobile or cell phone. This was another great chapter. You are pretty regular with your posting. Maybe like me and not much else to do these days?
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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Well done. Good idea to let Waylon check his mobile or cell phone. This was another great chapter. You are pretty regular with your posting. Maybe like me and not much else to do these days?
Comment Written 27-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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Thank you! I still work full time just a few years from retirement, then I'll be posting so much I'll get on your nerves. Lol. I like to post 2 chapters per week. Might do more occasionally. Gretchen
Comment from Jay Squires
Mitch is funny. Leaving to go change his uniform. I wondered if he soiled his pants and expected Miranda to make her snarky observation known. It was a good scene, tense enough to get the heart racing.
Jay
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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Mitch is funny. Leaving to go change his uniform. I wondered if he soiled his pants and expected Miranda to make her snarky observation known. It was a good scene, tense enough to get the heart racing.
Jay
Comment Written 26-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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Thank you. I appreciate your picking up on the uniform change. No one else has. Lol. Gretchen
Comment from Wendy G
The reader can sense her fear and then her relief ... and your great writing keeps her true to character in what she says to the cop. She is very real and likeable, even though some-one you wouldn't want to mess with ... and Missy (though absent in this chapter) needs to remember that. Well written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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The reader can sense her fear and then her relief ... and your great writing keeps her true to character in what she says to the cop. She is very real and likeable, even though some-one you wouldn't want to mess with ... and Missy (though absent in this chapter) needs to remember that. Well written.
Wendy
Comment Written 26-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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I'm not sure Missy understands who Miranda has become as an adult. She will find out however. Thanks for the great review. Gretchen
