DUEL with the DEVIL
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "DUEL with the DEVIL - Chapter 23"The problem of creating a non-addictive painkiller
21 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
You, and Bian and Julia are becoming very inventive with keeping their love alive, Jim. I would imagine for all young people leaving home and living in a college dorm amongst strangers would be a big learning curve. Another good read, Jim
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
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You, and Bian and Julia are becoming very inventive with keeping their love alive, Jim. I would imagine for all young people leaving home and living in a college dorm amongst strangers would be a big learning curve. Another good read, Jim
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 12-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
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I know that it was for me, umpteen years ago. So many changes. So many new experiences. It really was a growing up time. Not freshman year so much. I was a bit of a goof then, but I met my future wife on the 4th day of school during my sophomore year, and we've been married for 50 years now.
Comment from lancellot
Well written and the character seems very nice. Also, both boys and Julia do not sound like immature 18-year-olds at all. Neither does Brian's description of Daniel. I would take out him calling another guy handsome. On the other hand, keep it in. It fits with the rest of story so far.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
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Well written and the character seems very nice. Also, both boys and Julia do not sound like immature 18-year-olds at all. Neither does Brian's description of Daniel. I would take out him calling another guy handsome. On the other hand, keep it in. It fits with the rest of story so far.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
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I guess I'm confident enough in my masculinity not to worry about what a guy might think if I call him handsome. Hey, I call my cat a handsome guy. When my son was growing up, and I took him to the barber for a haircut, I'd always say when it was over, "What a handsome guy!"
Yeah, I think I'll leave it in.
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That's fine. But your story isn't an autobiography. It is about a fictional character (not a self-insert?) one that you want to appeal to a wide readership, men and women.
Naturally, you would say that to your son, so would I. But neither of us would say that about the barber.
That's all I mean. These are simply suggestions. I know FanStory has changed. I can turn off the suggestions if you'd like.
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No, no, no! I love to get your input. I may not always agree with it, but I always find it thought-provoking. It helps keep me on my toes. You're like a devil's advocate for me.
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Jim,
this is another great chapter. I never went to college, I figured it would be a waste of time and money for me. I went into the navy instead, and was surrounded by a whole new variety of personalities that I'd never encountered before in my young life. It was kind of like a college dorm, but with more people in a small space, and you couldn't walk away from it if it didn't work out.
It's probably a good thing that there weren't computers around when I was young. I might have worn myself out. I can imagine that skype would provide for some relief, especially for Brian, but I'm not sure how that would work for Julia, unless she was a visual kind of gal. Well done buddy.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2024
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Hello Jim,
this is another great chapter. I never went to college, I figured it would be a waste of time and money for me. I went into the navy instead, and was surrounded by a whole new variety of personalities that I'd never encountered before in my young life. It was kind of like a college dorm, but with more people in a small space, and you couldn't walk away from it if it didn't work out.
It's probably a good thing that there weren't computers around when I was young. I might have worn myself out. I can imagine that skype would provide for some relief, especially for Brian, but I'm not sure how that would work for Julia, unless she was a visual kind of gal. Well done buddy.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2024
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You seem to have educated yourself very well despite not having gone to college, Tom. You learned more about people and life in the navy, perhaps better than if you'd gone to college.
These days, the way colleges have become, I think you might even be better off educating yourself. The pendulum has swung too far from classical learning, and many college educations today are virtually worthless in preparing young folks for a decent future.
Thanks for your continual interest in this story. We are entering a lull before the storm period with a few tame and friendly chapters before we get some more excitement. That's been kind of the pattern with this novel.
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Hi Jim,
without conflict, the story wouldn't be worth reading. However, continuous conflict leaves the reader unsettled and in a dark mood. I think you're striking a good balance Jim.
Blessings,
Tom
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Thanks, Tom. I really appreciate that. It definitely is a balancing act. I just know that a couple reviewers will probably get on me for too much of this niceness, but we'll start to balance that out again soon.
This story has more raw emotion in it than any I've written before, and it will get very intense much later in the story. But, of course, that will be balanced out again by the end.
Comment from royowen
I'm glad that Brian has met a boy from Botswana, we have a fair influx of African immigrants here, I taught guitar to three brothers from the Congo in Africa, there mother was a refugee from there, two of the brothers play on the music platform at our church now, and one is studying a pharmaceutical PH.D, and the other majoring in business studies, they are an asset to our country, beautifully written Jim, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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I'm glad that Brian has met a boy from Botswana, we have a fair influx of African immigrants here, I taught guitar to three brothers from the Congo in Africa, there mother was a refugee from there, two of the brothers play on the music platform at our church now, and one is studying a pharmaceutical PH.D, and the other majoring in business studies, they are an asset to our country, beautifully written Jim, blessings Roy
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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It's funny how I got the idea to make Daniel an international student. It's because in doing my research about actual dorm names at NC State, Alexander Hall was at the top of the alphabetical list so I chose it for that reason. Then I read about it to see when it was built because I didn't want to create an anachronism, and I found out that a large number of international students housed there. That's when I got the idea to make him from Botswana that I have a little familiarity with from reading Alexander McCall Smith's novel series called The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency that takes place in Botswana. There you have it.
Comment from tfawcus
I liked the way you played with different speech patterns in this to help delineate and differentiate between the two new roommates. It's an interesting way of giving sharper definition to dialogue.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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I liked the way you played with different speech patterns in this to help delineate and differentiate between the two new roommates. It's an interesting way of giving sharper definition to dialogue.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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I wish more Americans spoke as precisely as Daniel speaks. It would be refreshing to hear.
Comment from LJbutterfly
I enjoyed the description of Brian's first day in college. It's exciting to begin a new adventure away from your family and on your own.
When my daughter came home after her first year away at college, we couldn't believe how much weight she had gained. Weekdays she ate in the cafeteria and on weekends, her and friends bought pizza. That was in the late eighties. Some things never change.
I don't understand what Skype sex is. I guess you'll explain.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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I enjoyed the description of Brian's first day in college. It's exciting to begin a new adventure away from your family and on your own.
When my daughter came home after her first year away at college, we couldn't believe how much weight she had gained. Weekdays she ate in the cafeteria and on weekends, her and friends bought pizza. That was in the late eighties. Some things never change.
I don't understand what Skype sex is. I guess you'll explain.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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Skype was the early version of Zoom video conferencing. You get to see who you are talking to in real time over the computer. Need I say more?
For me it was the freshman 25. I really pigged out my freshman year. I was pretty skinny to start though, so it didn't look too bad on me.
Comment from Wendy G
A fine chapter, and Daniel sounds like a fine roommate who will be good for Brian. A pity Julia's roommate is not a person she can be close to, but at least she has some friends close by. Looks like they will be into Sex by Skype, but I don't think it will be very satisfying for either of them, and there's always the chance of getting caught. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Wendy
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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A fine chapter, and Daniel sounds like a fine roommate who will be good for Brian. A pity Julia's roommate is not a person she can be close to, but at least she has some friends close by. Looks like they will be into Sex by Skype, but I don't think it will be very satisfying for either of them, and there's always the chance of getting caught. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Wendy
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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Thanks vey much, Wendy. Daniel will become a very good friend, but he will also provide some humor in coming chapters. Can't keep this too serious all the time.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
LOL, Jim! You are describing my son's and daughter's first housing experience at UConn - buildings that were meant as housing for returning WWII vets back in the 40s.
The "freshman fifteen" - yup, that's still a thing, and I believe my daughter excelled at it. Of course, I think a lot of those calories come from alcohol.
They certainly have done a good job of getting the required sex-time in, lol! You've got to pay attention to those priorities!
And I love the conversation between Daniel and Julia; I think Brian needs a friend like him to keep in on the straight and narrow when things get rough and tempting.
Another very good chapter, Jim.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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LOL, Jim! You are describing my son's and daughter's first housing experience at UConn - buildings that were meant as housing for returning WWII vets back in the 40s.
The "freshman fifteen" - yup, that's still a thing, and I believe my daughter excelled at it. Of course, I think a lot of those calories come from alcohol.
They certainly have done a good job of getting the required sex-time in, lol! You've got to pay attention to those priorities!
And I love the conversation between Daniel and Julia; I think Brian needs a friend like him to keep in on the straight and narrow when things get rough and tempting.
Another very good chapter, Jim.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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Thanks so much, Pam. Daniel and Brian will be very good for each other. We'll get to see some humorous situations for them soon.
In my case, it was the "freshman 25!" I went in weighing 150 and came out weighing 175. We had a flat rate "all you can eat" meal plan that freshman year, and I took advantage of it. The only meal they didn't serve was Sunday night, so we used to get pizzas then. It was not that unusual to down an entire 16" pizza by myself. It's no wonder I gained so much.
Then I met Elise at the beginning of my sophomore year, and all my weird behaviors started to moderate. (Did you ever read my "Confessions of a Stumpy" story from a while ago? You'll see what I mean if you did. https://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?hd=1&id=1093023).
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
These lovers have gone their own separate ways and anything could happen from now on Jim. Young love has a tendency to just become a part of our growing up. Your story is progressing nicely after a traumatic start. Love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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These lovers have gone their own separate ways and anything could happen from now on Jim. Young love has a tendency to just become a part of our growing up. Your story is progressing nicely after a traumatic start. Love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Dolly. Let's see how realistic I can make it so that they manage to stay together through the four years. (Maybe the skype-sex will help in that regard!)
Comment from lyenochka
I don't know how they will do anything x-rated via Skype but I guess the imagination helps. Come to think of it, I heard that there are phone services like that.
I liked the roommate you gave Brian. Meeting people from different countries really broaden our horizons.
One comment about the accent "Is not Daniel a delightful fellow" struck me more of an Indian English accent than a Botswana accent. But of course, the only one I have heard is an Audiobook reader. Lol.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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I don't know how they will do anything x-rated via Skype but I guess the imagination helps. Come to think of it, I heard that there are phone services like that.
I liked the roommate you gave Brian. Meeting people from different countries really broaden our horizons.
One comment about the accent "Is not Daniel a delightful fellow" struck me more of an Indian English accent than a Botswana accent. But of course, the only one I have heard is an Audiobook reader. Lol.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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Skype is visual and was the early version of Zoom, so it shouldn't take that much imagination on their part!
You're probably right about that syntax for Daniel sounding more Indian. I haven't heard enough Botswana-style English to really know. My knowledge of how they speak English in Botswana comes from my reading of Alexander McCall Smith's series The No. 1 Lady's Detective Agency which takes place in Botswana. I don't actually recall those characters using that syntax.
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That's the book I listened to! Loved that story and it intrigued me the G was pronounced as an H as in Gaborone. You could listen to some Botswana speech on YouTube.