Body of a Horse, Heart of a Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "The Sparrow's Message"A modern twist on Greek Mythology.
19 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is another great pivotal part of the whole story. I really enjoy your story and wish I could say more, but six days of flu have left me not very bright.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2025
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This is another great pivotal part of the whole story. I really enjoy your story and wish I could say more, but six days of flu have left me not very bright.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2025
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Oh my, Carol, I'm so sorry you've been going through that, but glad you're back in business!!
Thank you for your heartfelt review!!
Comment from Faith Williams
Hello, Rhonda,
I have missed some chapters, but I enjoyed reading this backstory of Diantha. It seems like Concorde Valley is never at peace for long.
Suggestions to consider:
"Hey, I see you're (quite) the marksman." Within a few paragraphs, the word 'quite' is used four times. I suggest reviewing them and deciding if the word is really needed each time or maybe switch to another word.
'... then flew away, (seemingly) bent on a mission.' Again, the word 'seemingly' or a counterpart, 'seemed' is repeated throughout this chapter. Same suggestion as above.
"Apparently he was jumped from behind by a group of (Caracki.)" Throughout this chapter, Caracki/Karaki is spelled two different ways. I suggest sticking to one spelling, so readers don't get confused.
'(About that time), the door to the house flew open.' I'm not sure the first part of this sentence is needed.
"Brandon hinted you had other motives." Diantha said. Comma after 'motives'.
'Atrius shook his head, (no,)... ' I think you could delete this part, as 'no' is implied with shaking.
"... they want it to be a final all-out war where domination of the two
(valley's) is determined." I don't think an apostrophe is needed here.
As always, these are merely suggestions. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2025
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Hello, Rhonda,
I have missed some chapters, but I enjoyed reading this backstory of Diantha. It seems like Concorde Valley is never at peace for long.
Suggestions to consider:
"Hey, I see you're (quite) the marksman." Within a few paragraphs, the word 'quite' is used four times. I suggest reviewing them and deciding if the word is really needed each time or maybe switch to another word.
'... then flew away, (seemingly) bent on a mission.' Again, the word 'seemingly' or a counterpart, 'seemed' is repeated throughout this chapter. Same suggestion as above.
"Apparently he was jumped from behind by a group of (Caracki.)" Throughout this chapter, Caracki/Karaki is spelled two different ways. I suggest sticking to one spelling, so readers don't get confused.
'(About that time), the door to the house flew open.' I'm not sure the first part of this sentence is needed.
"Brandon hinted you had other motives." Diantha said. Comma after 'motives'.
'Atrius shook his head, (no,)... ' I think you could delete this part, as 'no' is implied with shaking.
"... they want it to be a final all-out war where domination of the two
(valley's) is determined." I don't think an apostrophe is needed here.
As always, these are merely suggestions. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2025
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Thank you for your thorough review. I can tell you took a lot of time, Faith.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
Could this book get any better? I am amazed how good this is getting and how great this chapter is. I knew that this was going to be exciting but when Atrius' son was hurt and then to have them come back and say that the men's games were going to be attacked with a war, it wasn't done there.
I loved that the sparrow brought the information about Atrius' son being hurt.
Brandon must be a pretty good guy too if he went along to help Atrius.
Atrius wanting to take Diante back to Tennessee made me a little nervous but I knew she wouldn't go. I think he was kind of relieved too that she wouldn't go.
She really has become strong and I know that Mary and the kids have fallen in love with her too. But I can't wait once more to see what happens at the games for the women as well as the men.
Thanks for this amazing chapter. It is so exciting and I am more intrigued by the week. Love it so much. Thank you dear friend for the great talent I get to experience every week. Awesome Job!! Love, Debi
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2025
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Could this book get any better? I am amazed how good this is getting and how great this chapter is. I knew that this was going to be exciting but when Atrius' son was hurt and then to have them come back and say that the men's games were going to be attacked with a war, it wasn't done there.
I loved that the sparrow brought the information about Atrius' son being hurt.
Brandon must be a pretty good guy too if he went along to help Atrius.
Atrius wanting to take Diante back to Tennessee made me a little nervous but I knew she wouldn't go. I think he was kind of relieved too that she wouldn't go.
She really has become strong and I know that Mary and the kids have fallen in love with her too. But I can't wait once more to see what happens at the games for the women as well as the men.
Thanks for this amazing chapter. It is so exciting and I am more intrigued by the week. Love it so much. Thank you dear friend for the great talent I get to experience every week. Awesome Job!! Love, Debi
Comment Written 12-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2025
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Debi,
You are so sweet to write such a detailed review, and you not feeling your best. I am so blessed!!
Thank you for the six stars and for the support. You really encourage me, my friend.
Brandon is a real sweetheart, which makes Diantha's predicament even worse. At least she has a choice to make, which is better than she had where she came from, for sure.
Yeah, Atrius wanted to hide Diantha away, which shows a bit of growth on his part, too. He was relieved, I think, too. He seemed to have a plan B ready to go.
Mary and her family adore her as well. They will get even closer, I suspect!!
Thank you, again, dear lady.
Love and hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine chapter, Rhonda------so the next chapter ought to reveal their fate. Will they kick ass or get theirs kicked? Makes fore a suspenseful wait
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2025
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Another fine chapter, Rhonda------so the next chapter ought to reveal their fate. Will they kick ass or get theirs kicked? Makes fore a suspenseful wait
Comment Written 12-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2025
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Hi Mike,
I think there will be a little of both, lol. No fun if you don't make your characters suffer a little anyway.
So, what's your vote on plastic vs paper straws, lol.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Ulla
Hi Rhonda, first of all, I just don't have any six left to give you. They are all gone.
Now, Diantha has come a long way. It's amazing to seeing her evolve from a young shy girl into this strong and powerful woman. I love this story. A big hug, Ulla xxx
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2025
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Hi Rhonda, first of all, I just don't have any six left to give you. They are all gone.
Now, Diantha has come a long way. It's amazing to seeing her evolve from a young shy girl into this strong and powerful woman. I love this story. A big hug, Ulla xxx
Comment Written 12-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2025
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Hi Ulla,
That's okay on the stars. I posted late this week, and, besides, you and I tend to do that to each other, lol, but we mean well.
Thanks for the review and noticing the evolution of Diantha in this chapter.
Hugs
Rhonda
Comment from Harry Craft
Very interesting story Rhonda. I was trying to follow this and mostly understood it too. It seems like sort of science fiction, but not. It kept me interested to the end though. Keep up the great work!
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2025
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Very interesting story Rhonda. I was trying to follow this and mostly understood it too. It seems like sort of science fiction, but not. It kept me interested to the end though. Keep up the great work!
Comment Written 12-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2025
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Hi Harry,
Thank you so much for the review. Yeah, it's fantasy, which to me, is sort of like Science Fiction, but apparently, there's a difference. I blur the edges sometimes.
It's hard to come in the middle of a book and pick up. I should probably add in a summary. I did last book under author's notes. Thanks for pointing it out!
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You are so welcome.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Great artwork and story to go with it, Rhonda. I'm glad to see Atrius has returned. He makes things interesting, as well as the chemistry between him and Diantha. You do a good job with the scene involving the sparrow. A small bird with a big mission is more interesting than a large predatory bird. You do a good job with the scene between Atrius and Diantha. They know how to push each other's buttons. I think Mary had good advice at the end of this scene.
I don't think Atrius always has the most diplomatic way about him, but he has probably been through a trying time, but Diantha doesn't appreciate his directives and lets him know she wants to be a part of things. Probably not a good idea, though.
I like his comment about learning to walk in trees. A nice way to reflect on how the story began. A good ending that shows agreement between the two characters. Is there a king or is that used metaphorically?
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2025
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Great artwork and story to go with it, Rhonda. I'm glad to see Atrius has returned. He makes things interesting, as well as the chemistry between him and Diantha. You do a good job with the scene involving the sparrow. A small bird with a big mission is more interesting than a large predatory bird. You do a good job with the scene between Atrius and Diantha. They know how to push each other's buttons. I think Mary had good advice at the end of this scene.
I don't think Atrius always has the most diplomatic way about him, but he has probably been through a trying time, but Diantha doesn't appreciate his directives and lets him know she wants to be a part of things. Probably not a good idea, though.
I like his comment about learning to walk in trees. A nice way to reflect on how the story began. A good ending that shows agreement between the two characters. Is there a king or is that used metaphorically?
Comment Written 12-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2025
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Hi Pam,
Thank you so much for the six stars!!! They are most appreciated.
I thought about using the bird, which I used in the first book as well, because they are hard to detect as they fly about, and then the play on "a little birdie told me".
Atrius is the king, which he brings up now and then. It's a more pronounced position in the last book, but he exercises that authority now and then, thus his proclivity for ordering people about. Apparently, Diantha isn't as awed by it, or at least at this point, than might be advisable.
Thank you again,
Rhonda
Yes, she will get to walk in trees, lol. Our next chapter!
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Rhonda. Thanks for sharing in your reply, especially about Atrius and Diantha.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Wow, another chapter that pulled me in right away! I love how Diantha's growth shines through. She is really coming into her own. Atrius' mix of authority and care is so well done. The tension is real! I felt that weight when the men returned with haunted faces. This is shaping up to be an unforgettable adventure. Keep going - this is great stuff!
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2025
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Wow, another chapter that pulled me in right away! I love how Diantha's growth shines through. She is really coming into her own. Atrius' mix of authority and care is so well done. The tension is real! I felt that weight when the men returned with haunted faces. This is shaping up to be an unforgettable adventure. Keep going - this is great stuff!
Comment Written 12-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2025
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Awwww, Michael, what a lovely review!! It's so encouraging. I'm glad the elements I added in, you picked up on and that they are working. Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from lyenochka
Hooray for Diantha! You've really developed this character from a shy and introverted girl, second-guessing herself to a woman with a backbone, ready to defend a new country that she's just arrived in! Great job!
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2025
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Hooray for Diantha! You've really developed this character from a shy and introverted girl, second-guessing herself to a woman with a backbone, ready to defend a new country that she's just arrived in! Great job!
Comment Written 12-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2025
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Hi Helen,
Thank you so very much for the wonderful and supportive review. I'm glad Diantha is coming through as a growing character. Now it's time to teach her how to control her new found strength, lol.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from nomi338
When will some men learn that many, maybe even most women are far stronger than most men suspect. I was raised by a mother who was despite her small stature, was a real warrior. As a young teenager I made the mistake of thinking she needed my protection, I quickly learned that it was I who needed protection. I never forgot that lesson.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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When will some men learn that many, maybe even most women are far stronger than most men suspect. I was raised by a mother who was despite her small stature, was a real warrior. As a young teenager I made the mistake of thinking she needed my protection, I quickly learned that it was I who needed protection. I never forgot that lesson.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Awwww, what a sweet review, Nolan!! I knew you were a Mama's boy!! Strong women grow strong sons!
I appreciate your review, my friend,
Take care,
Rhonda
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I am, tried and true, through and through.
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Amen!
