Trouble In Red
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Ethan Goes Waffles"Let's Write This
16 total reviews
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
Now, this is a very clever addition to this book. I can only read yours but I am sure the rest are good too. This was fun and suspenseful too. Somehow I never took you as the private eye, detective or cop type, but it looks good on you.
And the story was awesome. You had me wondering at each paragraph which way it was going to go. And now at the end of your story I am more intrigued than ever. Thank you for this amazing action post. Loved the waffle theme and one of my Otis Redding favorites.
Dang, I wish I had a six left, but please accept my virtual.
Thanks again, dear brother.
Love and hugs, Debi
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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Now, this is a very clever addition to this book. I can only read yours but I am sure the rest are good too. This was fun and suspenseful too. Somehow I never took you as the private eye, detective or cop type, but it looks good on you.
And the story was awesome. You had me wondering at each paragraph which way it was going to go. And now at the end of your story I am more intrigued than ever. Thank you for this amazing action post. Loved the waffle theme and one of my Otis Redding favorites.
Dang, I wish I had a six left, but please accept my virtual.
Thanks again, dear brother.
Love and hugs, Debi
Comment Written 06-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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This had been a fun venture, being a part of this multi author writing scheme.
You should chime into it.
Thank you sweet sis for supportive review and generous rating including the virtual (that means a lot).
Love ya...
John
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I did the Sally and Jack's wedding and had a lot of fun. Oh, that's right, you were there. LOL
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Brother John,
Hmmmm, or should that be Brethren John?
Straight into it.
I'd consider a rearranging of words to accommodate its purpose for being there... eg...
Comforting was the sound of the wakes the water made slapping the bulk head and the ripples of moonlight on the water.
The sounds of solace in the wash of water slapping the bulkhead, the ripples across the moonlit water gave comfort to what was a usually tense life... of course, only my take and example John.
Now who doesn't love that song and rendition? Yep, you've done it now... I'm singing it!:>)
Too much eye shadow and lipstick to-for his liking?
you work'ed' here long?
What have I missed? To be continued by the next writer?
Well you certainly set that ending up stellar for someone else to come in and run with it John. Well done Brother!
Kindest regards,
James.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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Hi Brother John,
Hmmmm, or should that be Brethren John?
Straight into it.
I'd consider a rearranging of words to accommodate its purpose for being there... eg...
Comforting was the sound of the wakes the water made slapping the bulk head and the ripples of moonlight on the water.
The sounds of solace in the wash of water slapping the bulkhead, the ripples across the moonlit water gave comfort to what was a usually tense life... of course, only my take and example John.
Now who doesn't love that song and rendition? Yep, you've done it now... I'm singing it!:>)
Too much eye shadow and lipstick to-for his liking?
you work'ed' here long?
What have I missed? To be continued by the next writer?
Well you certainly set that ending up stellar for someone else to come in and run with it John. Well done Brother!
Kindest regards,
James.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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Hey my brother... it's good to hear from you. I got your PM yesterday and was waiting a few days to respond as you wrote about a cyclone hitting your area. I wasn't sure if you were going to evacuate for a bit. I pray all is well.
FYI... this post is chapter 11 on a multi author book. Carol (beginagain) wrote chapter 1 and another writer requests and writes subsequent ones.
Your suggestions were perfect. Thank you. I'll probably go in and change them.
In your PM you mentioned that the emails kept getting kicked back. I hope you don't mind but I asked our FS sister, Debi for your email. This way I can send you an email and you can then respond. Hopefully it won't get rejected. Debi is a sweetheart! I'm fortunate to have you two as my friends.
Before I get sappy I'm going to end this here. For now!
Love you my brother!!
John
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No Worries John, I'll send it to our Sister. Kill two birds with one stone so to speak... and I really hate using those analogies about killing or maiming God's creatures. We won't be evacuated from our home. Once the river comes up, there's no leaving the conventional way. We will hunker down, she'll be right me ol' mate. worst case scenario... we'll be flooded in for a while... and there's always a possibility of power outages... we've had one already this morning that piqued our anxiety this early on in the campaign. Take care Brother, talk soon. Love you mate!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Serious? Who decides who the next writer is?
Satisfied he shook the likes of Vito and his goons for the time being, - I don't understand this line.
Next writer (me): Boom! Before the gunsmoke cleared, the door chime signaled the shooter's departure. Cole lay dead in a pool of his no longer needed blood and spilled Waffle House syrup.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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Serious? Who decides who the next writer is?
Satisfied he shook the likes of Vito and his goons for the time being, - I don't understand this line.
Next writer (me): Boom! Before the gunsmoke cleared, the door chime signaled the shooter's departure. Cole lay dead in a pool of his no longer needed blood and spilled Waffle House syrup.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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This is a multi author book started by Carol (beginagain). PM her if you want to write a chapter. Mine was chapter 11.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Wonderful chapter for the Trouble In Red
Good dialogue and character development.
You got me at waffles and the song, "sittin' on the dock of the bay".... I love both.
Great cliffhanger it will be interesting what the next writer comes up with.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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Wonderful chapter for the Trouble In Red
Good dialogue and character development.
You got me at waffles and the song, "sittin' on the dock of the bay".... I love both.
Great cliffhanger it will be interesting what the next writer comes up with.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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Gypsy. Thank you so much for this great review.
John
Comment from barbara.wilkey
On the Dock of the Bay (Now I'll be singing this song all say.)
I am hoping Ethan has something up his sleeve or else this doesn't look good. Maybe this hostess is a gun packing mama. One never knows. I enjoyed reading. Great job.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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On the Dock of the Bay (Now I'll be singing this song all say.)
I am hoping Ethan has something up his sleeve or else this doesn't look good. Maybe this hostess is a gun packing mama. One never knows. I enjoyed reading. Great job.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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Thank you Barbara
It is a good song. There are so many from back in the day.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I've read before that Ethan has quite a sweet tooth so great consistency here. Immediately likable, he's the perfect protagonist, an unfulfilling background but now keeping himself on the straight and narrow in his pursuit of justice. I like the way his mind thinks too, attentive to detail:make-up, name tags and swaying butt! And what an ending for the next writer to pick up. Lovely! Well done, John! Debbie PS Did you mean "waves" instead of "wakes." I sort of recognise the latter but am just checking:)
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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I've read before that Ethan has quite a sweet tooth so great consistency here. Immediately likable, he's the perfect protagonist, an unfulfilling background but now keeping himself on the straight and narrow in his pursuit of justice. I like the way his mind thinks too, attentive to detail:make-up, name tags and swaying butt! And what an ending for the next writer to pick up. Lovely! Well done, John! Debbie PS Did you mean "waves" instead of "wakes." I sort of recognise the latter but am just checking:)
Comment Written 06-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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Yes, it should've been waves, darn auto-correct!
Thank you for the great review as you picked up all the little nuances.
Enjoy your evening. Check your email...
John
Comment from jim vecchio
You left us at the most exciting point! Good, that's what a writer should do if he's continuing story. I just had breakfast, but you made my mouth water for a Waffle House. Keep up the good work!
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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You left us at the most exciting point! Good, that's what a writer should do if he's continuing story. I just had breakfast, but you made my mouth water for a Waffle House. Keep up the good work!
Comment Written 06-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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Jim.
A great review. Thank you so much.
John
Comment from Begin Again
First, you make me hungry because those waffles sounded good, and then we don't even get to eat them because someone is about to blow Ethan away. This is a nice buildup for the man's mid-life crisis and the dilemma he finds himself in. Thanks for writing a chapter and making it so entertaining. Hope the finger is doing better!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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First, you make me hungry because those waffles sounded good, and then we don't even get to eat them because someone is about to blow Ethan away. This is a nice buildup for the man's mid-life crisis and the dilemma he finds himself in. Thanks for writing a chapter and making it so entertaining. Hope the finger is doing better!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 06-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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Phew... I was worried about your review. It is your book/thought process. I'm glad you enjoyed.
John
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You didn't need to worry about me, John. Everyone writes with a different style and this was just for fu to see how different authors' thought processes sent the story in different ways. thanks so much and if you feel like it...you can jump back in after Jim, Steve and Lori have their turn. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Tom Horonzy
You have set the scene and with colorful backdrops. Didn't her the word "Cut!" however I look forward to hearing the alternative - "A c t i o n !"
Always yours.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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You have set the scene and with colorful backdrops. Didn't her the word "Cut!" however I look forward to hearing the alternative - "A c t i o n !"
Always yours.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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Thank you, Tom.
Always good to hear from you.
John
Comment from Lori Mulligan
I so enjoyed the direction you took this story. Great descriptions and authentic dialogue and good surprise!
I may jump in again. Have to think it over. Great job!
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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I so enjoyed the direction you took this story. Great descriptions and authentic dialogue and good surprise!
I may jump in again. Have to think it over. Great job!
Comment Written 06-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2025
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Wow. Thank you Lori. Your review is positive and uplifting. Also your generous stars made me smile.
Thanks again.
John
