What a Night!
Boys Racing Cars in High School.22 total reviews
Comment from Tim Margetts
You've got the bones of a really entertaining memory here, Harry.
Fast cars, dumb choices, laughter, a bit of danger, and that perfect crash at the end (mechanical, thankfully, not human).
I got a real sense that you were having fun telling it, and that kind of energy carries across.
Some of the details-like the sound of the gear shift slamming your knuckles, or the girls pulling up and flashing you-made me grin. It's the kind of tale that would go down well at a campfire or family barbecue.
That said, it's running a bit long for the kind of story it is.
There's quite a bit of repetition (you mention being young, dumb, and liking speed more than once), and the tone could do with a little tightening-less generalising, more focus on your voice and your moment.
You don't need the whole Mars/Venus bit or lines like "we all do dumb things." We know-we're here for your dumb thing. Maybe, trim the fat and keep the engine purring.
Tim
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2025
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You've got the bones of a really entertaining memory here, Harry.
Fast cars, dumb choices, laughter, a bit of danger, and that perfect crash at the end (mechanical, thankfully, not human).
I got a real sense that you were having fun telling it, and that kind of energy carries across.
Some of the details-like the sound of the gear shift slamming your knuckles, or the girls pulling up and flashing you-made me grin. It's the kind of tale that would go down well at a campfire or family barbecue.
That said, it's running a bit long for the kind of story it is.
There's quite a bit of repetition (you mention being young, dumb, and liking speed more than once), and the tone could do with a little tightening-less generalising, more focus on your voice and your moment.
You don't need the whole Mars/Venus bit or lines like "we all do dumb things." We know-we're here for your dumb thing. Maybe, trim the fat and keep the engine purring.
Tim
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2025
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Lol! Yes, you are so right Tim. I do get wordy at times. Thanks for the great review and great advice! I truly appreciate you!
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Did the girls in the truck die from the fireball blast that hit the road when your driveshaft broke? You never said in your story that after they showed you their breasts while driving past, whether they lived to tell the tale. Dumb and silly things while driving a vehicle is a great story to remember, but it is sad to say that you sound proud to be dumb and silly when you were a teenager.
Going fast while driving is a bad way to live and one that I hope you have outgrown.
Jesse
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2025
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Did the girls in the truck die from the fireball blast that hit the road when your driveshaft broke? You never said in your story that after they showed you their breasts while driving past, whether they lived to tell the tale. Dumb and silly things while driving a vehicle is a great story to remember, but it is sad to say that you sound proud to be dumb and silly when you were a teenager.
Going fast while driving is a bad way to live and one that I hope you have outgrown.
Jesse
Comment Written 04-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2025
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No, the girls survived and went on. I never saw them again. Yes, it was a dumb thing to do, but I was young. Yes, Jesse, I did outgrow that and became a professional driver. I drove semis across the country for five years and attended many driving schools and the National Council for Safety on Driving LOL!
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Well, I am glad you grew up and started driving carefully.
I think you should add that to your notes.
Jesse
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Lol! Well, I started to, but I did say I don't drive like that any more lol...
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But the fact that you are now a professional driver should be said.
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Yes, you are right. I could have entered that...
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Great story. Hard to believe the girls in a pickup truck kept up.
He had been racing it in Michigan, at the tracks. - Comma not needed
So, we cruised up to the truck-stop, parked the car in back, and hurried in, and sat at a table. - the 'and' in front of 'hurried' makes the sentence awkward.
Glad you survived.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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Great story. Hard to believe the girls in a pickup truck kept up.
He had been racing it in Michigan, at the tracks. - Comma not needed
So, we cruised up to the truck-stop, parked the car in back, and hurried in, and sat at a table. - the 'and' in front of 'hurried' makes the sentence awkward.
Glad you survived.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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Thank you so much Wayne for the great review and editing too lol! I truly appreciate that!
Comment from Karen Cherry
Guys and their toys.How so many survive into adulthood is a mystery. You wove a good story. My last husband was a huge car nut. Oldsmobile Cutlass Hid dad had a 1969 pacer car convertible. He had a 1970, and I had a 1977.
Karen
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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Guys and their toys.How so many survive into adulthood is a mystery. You wove a good story. My last husband was a huge car nut. Oldsmobile Cutlass Hid dad had a 1969 pacer car convertible. He had a 1970, and I had a 1977.
Karen
Comment Written 02-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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lol! Yes, Karen, you are so right. I don't know how I made it this far lol. Thanks so much for the great review!
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No problemo. Karen
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Lol! Roger that!
Comment from royowen
Yep, they say the part of the brain that develops common sense, isn't fully functional until one is 25, so I can understand the process, so many young drivers are killed or maimed, the worst is in the loss of motor bike riders in the hills, beautifully written Harry, thanks for sharing, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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Yep, they say the part of the brain that develops common sense, isn't fully functional until one is 25, so I can understand the process, so many young drivers are killed or maimed, the worst is in the loss of motor bike riders in the hills, beautifully written Harry, thanks for sharing, blessings Roy
Comment Written 02-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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Well, thank you so much Roy for the great review. I truly appreciate you!
Comment from Brenda Strauser
Hi Harry, I liked your story. I would follow along easily. It is well written and describes your story very well. I thought maybe tge cop would catch you at the end. I remember when my husband drove way too fast. He wouldn't listen to me. He just wanted to drive too fast. He did get a couple of speeding fines. Great story, Brenda
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025
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Hi Harry, I liked your story. I would follow along easily. It is well written and describes your story very well. I thought maybe tge cop would catch you at the end. I remember when my husband drove way too fast. He wouldn't listen to me. He just wanted to drive too fast. He did get a couple of speeding fines. Great story, Brenda
Comment Written 02-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025
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Thank you so much Brenda. I truly appreciate the great review and kind words!
Comment from Sanku
I wonder if this generation youngsters do this with their cars .I suppose for them it would be selfies -or at at least that is what we generally see here. They try to take selfies from running trains, from the edges of cliffs and what not ; of course many lose their lives too.
I enjoyed reading your adventures..
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025
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I wonder if this generation youngsters do this with their cars .I suppose for them it would be selfies -or at at least that is what we generally see here. They try to take selfies from running trains, from the edges of cliffs and what not ; of course many lose their lives too.
I enjoyed reading your adventures..
Comment Written 02-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025
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Thank you so much Sanku for the great review. I would have to say yes, the younger generation today is much worse because the cars are so much more powerful today and dangerous...
Comment from Teri7
This is a very interesting story about drag racing back in the day. You used very good descriptive words and I am glad you all were o.k. and not harmed in any way. It is amazing that we lived this long in my eyes! I did some stupid things when I was younger too! Thanks for sharing! Teri
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025
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This is a very interesting story about drag racing back in the day. You used very good descriptive words and I am glad you all were o.k. and not harmed in any way. It is amazing that we lived this long in my eyes! I did some stupid things when I was younger too! Thanks for sharing! Teri
Comment Written 02-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025
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Thank you so much Teri for the kind words, great review and you!
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
Harry,
What a fun story about being dumb. Did you ever see those girls again and did your car get fixed? I bet you felt a huge adrenaline rush while you were going that fast. It had to be a little scary going that fast. The great thing is you lived to tell the story.
Well done my friend
Cecilia
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025
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Harry,
What a fun story about being dumb. Did you ever see those girls again and did your car get fixed? I bet you felt a huge adrenaline rush while you were going that fast. It had to be a little scary going that fast. The great thing is you lived to tell the story.
Well done my friend
Cecilia
Comment Written 01-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025
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Thank you so much Cecilia for the great review. No I never saw those girls again. I did get my car fixed. And yes, it was an adrenaline rush lol!
Comment from Sally Law
Yes, we all have done REALLY stupid and dangerous things when we were younger. Your angels must've been looking out for you, Harry, and the passengers in your car. Many have died in their stupidity. The roads are even more dangerous nowadays.
Thanks for sharing your true story and the need for speed.
Take care!
Sal :))
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025
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Yes, we all have done REALLY stupid and dangerous things when we were younger. Your angels must've been looking out for you, Harry, and the passengers in your car. Many have died in their stupidity. The roads are even more dangerous nowadays.
Thanks for sharing your true story and the need for speed.
Take care!
Sal :))
Comment Written 01-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025
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Thank you so much Sally for the great review! Yes, the roads today are horrible...
