Flash Fiction
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Saying Goodbye"Collection of Flash, Micro, etc.
43 total reviews
Comment from MJMuraco
You have so much emotion in this story. It is well written and I couldn't find any SPAG. I know what it is like to bury a loved one even if things weren't perfect.
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2009
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You have so much emotion in this story. It is well written and I couldn't find any SPAG. I know what it is like to bury a loved one even if things weren't perfect.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2009
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MJMuraco
I answered these and got them back so just in case I want to thank you once again.
Carol
Comment from lerkun
well done carol.. at least it was an inanimate object that came to harm here, sad though the content may be, the main character of your under 150 word piece walks free
nice work
b well
lerk
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2009
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well done carol.. at least it was an inanimate object that came to harm here, sad though the content may be, the main character of your under 150 word piece walks free
nice work
b well
lerk
Comment Written 23-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2009
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lerk
Thanks for stopping by and reviewing my story. Appreciate you taking the time. Carol
Comment from WRITER1
Abuse is a terrible thing. I feel sorry for anyone who has ever suffered. This would be a closing. A good way to rid ones self of bad memories.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Abuse is a terrible thing. I feel sorry for anyone who has ever suffered. This would be a closing. A good way to rid ones self of bad memories.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Thanks..I thought it was too. The land had been his sanctuary while growing up, but the house held nothing but horrible memories. Why not remove the thorn from the rose garden. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Carol
Comment from Mastery
good entry, Carol. I sincerely think you may winthis one...Lots of imagination to the finish...I would just end it with him tossing the match...Leave off "the evil place" for better effect. (always leave em stunned, I say...Bob
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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good entry, Carol. I sincerely think you may winthis one...Lots of imagination to the finish...I would just end it with him tossing the match...Leave off "the evil place" for better effect. (always leave em stunned, I say...Bob
Comment Written 22-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Bob
Thank you for your encouragement. I greatly appreciate it. Thanks again. Carol
Comment from sgalletti
I am reviewing all of these 100 word entries before voting. Yours is well written and tells a complete story. Wow, what a way to end and begin again! As a poet and person who enters six word stories (and believes they are even more difficult to write than the 100 word stories) I am intrigued by this particular contest. Best of luck. Sue
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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I am reviewing all of these 100 word entries before voting. Yours is well written and tells a complete story. Wow, what a way to end and begin again! As a poet and person who enters six word stories (and believes they are even more difficult to write than the 100 word stories) I am intrigued by this particular contest. Best of luck. Sue
Comment Written 22-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Sue
Chiseling away at a story (I'm a 3000 word girl) and putting it in these small capsules is challenging to me, but I am beginning to really enjoy it. Thanks so much for the kind review. Have a great day! Carol
Comment from sfharper
You paint the conflict with father well and Kevin's resolution, but it doesn't seem to fit with being at peace with the place. The setting details are good. Also, I'm not quite clear about whether he was happy with dad dying alone or not, some of this could be tweaked to feel complete, I think. Otherwise, well written.
:)
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reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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You paint the conflict with father well and Kevin's resolution, but it doesn't seem to fit with being at peace with the place. The setting details are good. Also, I'm not quite clear about whether he was happy with dad dying alone or not, some of this could be tweaked to feel complete, I think. Otherwise, well written.
:)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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I was restricted by the number of words as well as the required words for the story. In the beginning, I said it had been his sanctuary from his father's anger inside the house. He was removing the thorns from his rose garden by burning it. Thanks for the review. Carol
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I can't wait to try my hand at one, so far I'm plugging away, but I do understand and that makes much sense. Thanks for letting me know.
:)
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You are most welcome!
Comment from zeezeewriter
Great job of bringing the moment to life. Your description is marvelous for so few words. These are great challenges. You did a fab job. Good luck in the contest. Zee
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Great job of bringing the moment to life. Your description is marvelous for so few words. These are great challenges. You did a fab job. Good luck in the contest. Zee
Comment Written 22-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Zee
Thanks so much for your kind words. This was a lot of fun to do. I'm learning with each one. Thanks again. Carol
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Begin Again ....
In this short story, you have cleverly incorporated all the prescribed words and I enjoyed reading what you have written.
You certainly have a most appropriate picture at the top. There is nothing to suggest changing and, as it is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
With love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Hullo Begin Again ....
In this short story, you have cleverly incorporated all the prescribed words and I enjoyed reading what you have written.
You certainly have a most appropriate picture at the top. There is nothing to suggest changing and, as it is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
With love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Nanette
Thanks for stopping by and reading my story. Carol
Comment from Slush Pile
I'm almost through reading all the entries for this contest. Thus far, yours is the best. It reads smoothly. The mandatory words blend into place naturally--like they should. Excellent story. Blessings, Slush Pile
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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I'm almost through reading all the entries for this contest. Thus far, yours is the best. It reads smoothly. The mandatory words blend into place naturally--like they should. Excellent story. Blessings, Slush Pile
Comment Written 22-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Slush Pile
I am flattered by your remarks. Glad you enjoyed the story. Carol
Comment from Blaidd Drwg
Great story, and an interesting way for Kevin to say goodbye to his sad past. Hopefully, he keeps the beautiful garden and builds a new property. failing that, I suppose he could sell it. :)
John
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Great story, and an interesting way for Kevin to say goodbye to his sad past. Hopefully, he keeps the beautiful garden and builds a new property. failing that, I suppose he could sell it. :)
John
Comment Written 22-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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John
He will most definitely keep it. He just needed to remove the thorns from his rose garden. Thanks for reading. Carol
