Spit, Gum and Shoe Laces
Viewing comments for Chapter 49 "Away For Two"A Progression Of Expression From Fiction To Faith
7 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
I like the 6/7/7/6 construction - I don't think I've ever tried that.
I also like your abcb rhyming.
A most romantic story of secret interludes stolen between the estate owner's daughter and the hired help
I like his spirit of determination :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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I like the 6/7/7/6 construction - I don't think I've ever tried that.
I also like your abcb rhyming.
A most romantic story of secret interludes stolen between the estate owner's daughter and the hired help
I like his spirit of determination :-) Brooke
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Thank you for your time and effort in reviewing this piece... sincerely.
Comment from Galadriel's Lyric
What a wonderful tale you tell here, of sweet love. I enjoy the 6-7-7-6 meter too. You are quite a talented writer. And SO funny:
As your Father's daughter,
you are his bright shining sun
but I am the hired help
fearing hot lead from his gun
I love it!! You make me want to be a better writer, you and Gungalo, that lovely lady I call friend! Thanks for the write!
~Kristie Jo
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2011
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What a wonderful tale you tell here, of sweet love. I enjoy the 6-7-7-6 meter too. You are quite a talented writer. And SO funny:
As your Father's daughter,
you are his bright shining sun
but I am the hired help
fearing hot lead from his gun
I love it!! You make me want to be a better writer, you and Gungalo, that lovely lady I call friend! Thanks for the write!
~Kristie Jo
Comment Written 01-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2011
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Thank you so very much... Gungalo and I have recently befriended as fans. as of yesterday, how cool is that. Thank you KJ so much for taking the time to read and review.
Comment from Gungalo
The thrill of it all, the meeting of love's call ... oh my it is something that magnifies the love. Your poetic story is quite good and tells, as you said, an age old story. Love will go where it may, they say.
Your 6/7/7/6 meter has some flaws, as here:
fearing hot lead from his gun. (7 where it should be 6)
I love this, your final verse:
At this hour we embrace
taking love close to the edge
and hopefully time itself
won't drive a parting wedge.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2011
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The thrill of it all, the meeting of love's call ... oh my it is something that magnifies the love. Your poetic story is quite good and tells, as you said, an age old story. Love will go where it may, they say.
Your 6/7/7/6 meter has some flaws, as here:
fearing hot lead from his gun. (7 where it should be 6)
I love this, your final verse:
At this hour we embrace
taking love close to the edge
and hopefully time itself
won't drive a parting wedge.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2011
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what an eye... that you caught that, thank you so much for another great review... to love loving, a lovely life.
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Wonderful poetry you!!!
Comment from Jewell McChesney
Diehard romantics write the best poetry.;)
The form does it justice and your stanzas create perfect romantic imagery. Reminds me of some of my old writes when I believed love could come. Thanks for sharing!!! You have a true gift! May God richly bless it!
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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Diehard romantics write the best poetry.;)
The form does it justice and your stanzas create perfect romantic imagery. Reminds me of some of my old writes when I believed love could come. Thanks for sharing!!! You have a true gift! May God richly bless it!
Comment Written 30-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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thank you for your efforts in reviewing this piece.
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No effort a'tall. You write beautiful poetry
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maybe you could review "Neither fore or neither aft" if you get a chance and haven't already,
i will review the piece i missed yesterday, your hard to keep up with, lol. ty
Comment from el twelve
that was nicely done, all flowed smoothly and elegantly. the story within was precious and young loveish (not a word i made it up) . good work
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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that was nicely done, all flowed smoothly and elegantly. the story within was precious and young loveish (not a word i made it up) . good work
Comment Written 30-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your time and effort in reviewing this piece.
Comment from mermaids
This is like watching a movie, you captured my attention and I was caught up in the story. Great flow of words and verses and an enjoyable poem to read. I admire your ability to tell a story in a poem.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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This is like watching a movie, you captured my attention and I was caught up in the story. Great flow of words and verses and an enjoyable poem to read. I admire your ability to tell a story in a poem.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your time and effort in reviewing this piece.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing this poem about the stolen moments that lovers find, this is a beautiful descriptive poem....
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing this poem about the stolen moments that lovers find, this is a beautiful descriptive poem....
Comment Written 30-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your time and effort in reviewing this piece.
