The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 62 "Thrills and Spills"A Novel
24 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Tony,
Another good instalment. Helen seems very keen on the idea of working together. I wonder her response to the convenient marriage? lol
"I thought these might help to restore your equilibrium," she said, with a smile.
"I know you are dying to tell me about Jeanne's visit and, yes, I did put her up to it. I thought it might teach you a lesson."- it be advantageous to put the second piece of dialogue after the tag rather than on a separate line. it can look like a different speaker.
'Well, she did, and it backfired. I spun round and dashed the gun from her hand. It went off when it hit the ground and, if you don't believe that, perhaps the shattered shower screen will convince you."- change the opening speech mark here to match the closing one.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
  |
Hi Tony,
Another good instalment. Helen seems very keen on the idea of working together. I wonder her response to the convenient marriage? lol
"I thought these might help to restore your equilibrium," she said, with a smile.
"I know you are dying to tell me about Jeanne's visit and, yes, I did put her up to it. I thought it might teach you a lesson."- it be advantageous to put the second piece of dialogue after the tag rather than on a separate line. it can look like a different speaker.
'Well, she did, and it backfired. I spun round and dashed the gun from her hand. It went off when it hit the ground and, if you don't believe that, perhaps the shattered shower screen will convince you."- change the opening speech mark here to match the closing one.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
-
Appreciate the spag catches. Glad you enjoyed it. I?m wondering when Charles is going to propose. He might just be idiot enough!
Comment from Ulla
Hahahaha, Tony, this is so funny and a wonderful write. I love the scene where Charles spills the wine all over himself followed by Helen's comments. Great writing. And now, what on earth next. All best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
 |
Hahahaha, Tony, this is so funny and a wonderful write. I love the scene where Charles spills the wine all over himself followed by Helen's comments. Great writing. And now, what on earth next. All best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
-
Thanks so much, Ulla. It's your continued support and enthusiasm that is keeping me going! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from LIJ Red
All bathroom hand dryers should have the hot air port at the end of a retractile hose for "lads" of my vintage to dry pants inseams...excellent post.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
|
All bathroom hand dryers should have the hot air port at the end of a retractile hose for "lads" of my vintage to dry pants inseams...excellent post.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
-
Perhaps you should commercialise the idea. The aging population is a captive market. I could never understand why old men took so long in the toilet. I have now come to realise that they were just waiting for their trousers to dry.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
It is possible to work on their terms and not the powers to be terms? I am not so sure about that. I do like Charles and Helen together. They make for a very interesting team. LOL
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
|
It is possible to work on their terms and not the powers to be terms? I am not so sure about that. I do like Charles and Helen together. They make for a very interesting team. LOL
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
-
Thanks, Barbara, for your review and for the sixth star. Charles and Helen may be optimistic in thinking they can operate independently without consequences. I admire their foolhardiness though! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Great chapter Tony with Charles emotions and Helen jumping on the train with him. Some nice light-hearted moments between these two make the characters really believable. A good ending to this chapter with their agreement - on our terms, not on theirs."
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
|
Great chapter Tony with Charles emotions and Helen jumping on the train with him. Some nice light-hearted moments between these two make the characters really believable. A good ending to this chapter with their agreement - on our terms, not on theirs."
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
-
Delighted that you thought this chapter worth a sixth star, Valda. Most affirming. Thank you for continuing to follow the story, giving your impressions along the way. The loyalty of readers is what is keeping me going, especially at those times when I begin to doubt myself!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was a perfect ending to that disastrous discussion, lol. The hair dryer trick is often used by me! Charles was right in observing how sadly opportune it was that his best friends wife had died. That is really sad that they couldn't have children so he'll be quite alone now apart from his dog. This was another excellent chapter, my friend, worth waiting to give you a six. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
|
That was a perfect ending to that disastrous discussion, lol. The hair dryer trick is often used by me! Charles was right in observing how sadly opportune it was that his best friends wife had died. That is really sad that they couldn't have children so he'll be quite alone now apart from his dog. This was another excellent chapter, my friend, worth waiting to give you a six. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
-
Very many thanks, Sandra. Delighted that you thought this worth a sixth star. Jim cast some doubt on BR providing electric hand dryers. Sufficient paper towels for the journey would be a minor miracle! LOL
All the best, Tony
Comment from djsaxon
Tony. The write has a distinctly "Victorian" feel to it which I find enchanting. It almost predates the DOWNTON ABBEY dialogue palette. (Julian Fellowes is something of a hero). I am liking this write. DJ
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
|
Tony. The write has a distinctly "Victorian" feel to it which I find enchanting. It almost predates the DOWNTON ABBEY dialogue palette. (Julian Fellowes is something of a hero). I am liking this write. DJ
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
-
Thanks, DJ. Glad you're still enjoying it. All the best, Tony
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Tony, Great continuation of your story, my friend.
Good images like this throughout: "Worse than that, I'm afraid." I ran my fingers through my hair and barely restrained the trembling of my bottom lip."
Suggestions:
Oooooh! "The fact that Helen was unquestioningly dropping everything to be by my side at this dark......"
"unquestionally??? No no no. LOL You know why, Tony, so I won't bother to explain, my friend. (Suffice to say say this without that nasty adverb.)
Good job, Tony. Sorry no sixes left, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2019
|
Hi, Tony, Great continuation of your story, my friend.
Good images like this throughout: "Worse than that, I'm afraid." I ran my fingers through my hair and barely restrained the trembling of my bottom lip."
Suggestions:
Oooooh! "The fact that Helen was unquestioningly dropping everything to be by my side at this dark......"
"unquestionally??? No no no. LOL You know why, Tony, so I won't bother to explain, my friend. (Suffice to say say this without that nasty adverb.)
Good job, Tony. Sorry no sixes left, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 01-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2019
-
They have a way of creeping in unnoticed. I?m more rigorous than I used to be in cutting them out, but this one escaped.
-
:) Bob
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
I think the opening concern about Bistro is on the mark.
A solid chapter that maintains interest, develops relationships
and points to the inevitable return to Pakistan.
That "misandrous yashmak" might come in handy in Hindu Kush.
A bit surprised Helen would "dearly love to return to the land
of my birth and childhood" after all she went through there.
This chapter does exactly what it needs to:
build the story, reinforce connections,
and dangle the mystery and danger of Pakistan.
Well done.
Robert
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
|
Hello Tony,
I think the opening concern about Bistro is on the mark.
A solid chapter that maintains interest, develops relationships
and points to the inevitable return to Pakistan.
That "misandrous yashmak" might come in handy in Hindu Kush.
A bit surprised Helen would "dearly love to return to the land
of my birth and childhood" after all she went through there.
This chapter does exactly what it needs to:
build the story, reinforce connections,
and dangle the mystery and danger of Pakistan.
Well done.
Robert
Comment Written 01-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
-
Thanks, Robert, for the review and extra star. Down the track, I hope to show something of Helen's ambivalence about her return. Her love for the land will, naturally, be tempered by her trauma and bitter memories. All the best, Tony
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A good chapter, Tony, that very
nicely picks up from the last one.
-You show the compassion of Charles
for his friend Bisto's loss very well.
-Helen senses his distress and gets
them on their way to see Bisto.
-After a bit of banter between Helen
and Charles, he waits for the opportune
moment to bring up Jeanne.
-Helen still has faith in her until
Charles mentions the gun and bullet,
and the condition of her bathroom
for extra proof, if needed.
-But Helen does have a good idea at the end.
-We will see how that all plays out.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
|
-A good chapter, Tony, that very
nicely picks up from the last one.
-You show the compassion of Charles
for his friend Bisto's loss very well.
-Helen senses his distress and gets
them on their way to see Bisto.
-After a bit of banter between Helen
and Charles, he waits for the opportune
moment to bring up Jeanne.
-Helen still has faith in her until
Charles mentions the gun and bullet,
and the condition of her bathroom
for extra proof, if needed.
-But Helen does have a good idea at the end.
-We will see how that all plays out.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
-
Many thanks for your observations, Pam, and for the sixth star. Appreciated, as always.
