Remembering Yesterday
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "First Dates"A widow's journey into her relationship with her
11 total reviews
Comment from alexisleech
I love the little details you recollect about your early relationship with your husband. There is a refreshing honesty about the way you refer to both your looks back then. When the world was focussing on movie stars and their attractions, you remind us that most of us found something exceptional in our partners, something beyond the flesh, and something that remained for many of us through the years.
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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I love the little details you recollect about your early relationship with your husband. There is a refreshing honesty about the way you refer to both your looks back then. When the world was focussing on movie stars and their attractions, you remind us that most of us found something exceptional in our partners, something beyond the flesh, and something that remained for many of us through the years.
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 19-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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Thank you again Alexis, I really appreciate the review sand you lovely comments. Yes, we were lucky to find that special someone to make our lives complete.
Beth
Comment from Sankey
This is a lovely story. I am thoroughly enjoying the "ride." Just so you know the SIXES all come up weekly on Sunday your time. If you like SIXES you have to wait to post each chapter on Sunday your time. Now only one tiny spag. you of being conce(it)[d]ed. Or proud, stuck up ....I looked for this word everywhere, Sigh!
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
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This is a lovely story. I am thoroughly enjoying the "ride." Just so you know the SIXES all come up weekly on Sunday your time. If you like SIXES you have to wait to post each chapter on Sunday your time. Now only one tiny spag. you of being conce(it)[d]ed. Or proud, stuck up ....I looked for this word everywhere, Sigh!
Comment Written 08-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
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It is so nice of you to go back and read all these long stories. I wonder why my spell checker didn't catch that. I so appreciate that you did. Thanks again.
Comment from Spitfire
I got sucked into taking that 'draw me' course, too!
"you interviewed me"-- what a great way to put it. Glad you followed it up with examples.
my four inch heels and hose with the black lines running down the middle of my legs that would never stay straight. -- I can relate to this. Remember those garter belts?
Descriptions of you and him are skillfully planted into the narrative.
before I realized how germ conscious you were. Even after we were married, you kept your toothbrush safely hidden for fear of having me pick it up by mistake. . -- ah, a character flaw. Terrific.
And those drive-in movies - a place to neck and pet.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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I got sucked into taking that 'draw me' course, too!
"you interviewed me"-- what a great way to put it. Glad you followed it up with examples.
my four inch heels and hose with the black lines running down the middle of my legs that would never stay straight. -- I can relate to this. Remember those garter belts?
Descriptions of you and him are skillfully planted into the narrative.
before I realized how germ conscious you were. Even after we were married, you kept your toothbrush safely hidden for fear of having me pick it up by mistake. . -- ah, a character flaw. Terrific.
And those drive-in movies - a place to neck and pet.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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Wow! Thanks again. I think most of the people who like this story are the ones old enough to relate. For me, it a chance to relive some of the days of being young and laugh at some of the stupid things we did. Love those stars.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
All I can really think to say is AHH, but you can't just say that in a review. It's such a wonderful story that AHH is all that's needs to be said. Thank you for sharing this with us.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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All I can really think to say is AHH, but you can't just say that in a review. It's such a wonderful story that AHH is all that's needs to be said. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much for the review. I'm flattered by the AHH. The fact you read it is enough for me.
Beth
Comment from Mastery
HI dear friend. Long time no see. I am so glad to see you tackle writing a novel. Good for you. I have no doubt that you will succeedvery nicely.
I do have some suggestions if you do not mind. And I will from time to time if you sant my advice. If not, just let me know. since we last spoke I have had four novels published. (really published not self-published)
Three of them ae detective novels with the same protagonist in the series. My pen name is R. C Hartson and my most successful novel is a family saga called "Falling Up The Stairs" (All five star reviews) ...about twenty of them... so I am a happy camper.... especially when I receive royalty checks.
You will have the same success I am sure, Beth.
Anyway..What is the chapger number here. They should be a big note at the top of each one giving the number.
with this part: I think you should start a new paragraph here: " We chatted a while about the art course. You'd actually done the "Draw Me" girl from the magazines like I did to try to win the same art course. Like me, you'd had a salesman call to try and sell it to you. (and here another one)
After about ten minutes, we seemed to run out of things to talk about, and you asked if I'd like to take a ride."
Here I would put these sentences in italics to denote thoughts "Would I ever. Get me out of here before Daddy gets back." or add on "I thought"
And I suggest you break up all of ypur paragraphs whenever there is a defined change of subject ...like here again Beth: "We drove two towns over etc etc....
Bless you my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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HI dear friend. Long time no see. I am so glad to see you tackle writing a novel. Good for you. I have no doubt that you will succeedvery nicely.
I do have some suggestions if you do not mind. And I will from time to time if you sant my advice. If not, just let me know. since we last spoke I have had four novels published. (really published not self-published)
Three of them ae detective novels with the same protagonist in the series. My pen name is R. C Hartson and my most successful novel is a family saga called "Falling Up The Stairs" (All five star reviews) ...about twenty of them... so I am a happy camper.... especially when I receive royalty checks.
You will have the same success I am sure, Beth.
Anyway..What is the chapger number here. They should be a big note at the top of each one giving the number.
with this part: I think you should start a new paragraph here: " We chatted a while about the art course. You'd actually done the "Draw Me" girl from the magazines like I did to try to win the same art course. Like me, you'd had a salesman call to try and sell it to you. (and here another one)
After about ten minutes, we seemed to run out of things to talk about, and you asked if I'd like to take a ride."
Here I would put these sentences in italics to denote thoughts "Would I ever. Get me out of here before Daddy gets back." or add on "I thought"
And I suggest you break up all of ypur paragraphs whenever there is a defined change of subject ...like here again Beth: "We drove two towns over etc etc....
Bless you my friend. Bob
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Hi Bob, It is so good to hear from you. I knew you would be successful. Before I left FanStory in 2013, I read the Falling Upstairs story and most of one of the detective stories. I've noted on Facebook how you've become a well-know author. I'm proud of you.
If you saw the prologue which is still paying and chapter one, you know that my husband passed away. I am writing this as I talk to him.
Of course, I'd love your input. I was writing this for my children and I decide to see if would generate any interest with people who aren't related.
I"m going to take you suggestions so please tell me anything you see that needs fixing.
I'm telling this story just as I remember it. No fiction. Thank you so much for the review.
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Awwww. How sweet you are to do this. I will try to stay caught up and help whenever I can :) Bob
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I was surprised to find you still have time to come back and help those of us still struggling. Thanks so much.
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I haven't had a best seller yet, Beth. LOL I will someday I hope. :) Bob
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I laugh reading this :" Your kisses were nice, but no moisture escaped your lips. It was much later before I realized how germ conscious you were. Even after we were married, you kept your toothbrush safely hidden for fear of having me pick it up by mistake. " I love your story which is developing slowly with the thrills of first dates under parents supervisions and grandparents blessings. Also back then these subject for compatibility were very well defined: go to church, don't drink, don't smoke etc. Thank you for sharing and waiting for the next chapter.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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I laugh reading this :" Your kisses were nice, but no moisture escaped your lips. It was much later before I realized how germ conscious you were. Even after we were married, you kept your toothbrush safely hidden for fear of having me pick it up by mistake. " I love your story which is developing slowly with the thrills of first dates under parents supervisions and grandparents blessings. Also back then these subject for compatibility were very well defined: go to church, don't drink, don't smoke etc. Thank you for sharing and waiting for the next chapter.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much for the review and your comments I love it when something I write make you laugh. It was a different back then.
Comment from Sasha
This is very well written with vivid details of the characters and their emotions. I was born in the the mid 40's and not yet dating in the 50's. Thanks for sharing your memories with us, I enjoyed reading this very much. Now that it is 2020 the 50 seems like a long, long time ago.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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This is very well written with vivid details of the characters and their emotions. I was born in the the mid 40's and not yet dating in the 50's. Thanks for sharing your memories with us, I enjoyed reading this very much. Now that it is 2020 the 50 seems like a long, long time ago.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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You are right. That is a long time ago. Still some of it seems as familiar as yesterday. Thank you so much for the review and comments.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Sefiros
I like the gradual progression of the story - first date, church date, then drive-in date. I do like how you describe your appearance. I wish you introduced your grandmother a little earlier on. Her appearance is a surprise and seems a little forced. Otherwise, nice job.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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I like the gradual progression of the story - first date, church date, then drive-in date. I do like how you describe your appearance. I wish you introduced your grandmother a little earlier on. Her appearance is a surprise and seems a little forced. Otherwise, nice job.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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I really appreciate you review and comments. I never thought about introducing my grandmother since she won't pay a large part in this story but you may be right. I may go back and do that.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is really interesting, Beth. You are bringing back a lot of memories for me. We must be the same age. I was married in the summer of 1954. I met Jim on my 19th birthday.
The seam on the hose and garter belt made me chuckle. Remember some of the hose had jewels behind the ankle on the heels? We all just had to have a pair of them for prom. I am enjoying your story. Good job, dear. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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This is really interesting, Beth. You are bringing back a lot of memories for me. We must be the same age. I was married in the summer of 1954. I met Jim on my 19th birthday.
The seam on the hose and garter belt made me chuckle. Remember some of the hose had jewels behind the ankle on the heels? We all just had to have a pair of them for prom. I am enjoying your story. Good job, dear. Nancy:)
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much for your review. I had thought you were a lot younger than me. I got married in 1956, at eighteen. I turned 19 that September. We do share some memories. A lot has changed since those days.
Comment from Mistydawn
This is a well-written, interesting addition to your story. I love all the fond memories that you shared with us. The way you added the awkwardness, nervousness to the situations brought it to life. Made it seem more realistic, believable. Very nicely done.
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reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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This is a well-written, interesting addition to your story. I love all the fond memories that you shared with us. The way you added the awkwardness, nervousness to the situations brought it to life. Made it seem more realistic, believable. Very nicely done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much for the great review. I appreciate your comments and stars.
