Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

You did a fantastic job telling the story in this ballad-like poem! I particularly liked how with each first line, you added an internal rhyme. I remember the movie. It is such a tragedy but you have given the event a fine tribute. Hope this does well in the contest!

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024

Thanks, Helen. Sebastian Junger did a great job with the book.

Comment from CrystieCookie999

Excellent

This is a fantastic poem. I think you did very well with the rhyme scheme. I hope it does well in the contest.
Here are some great details that remind me of some of the better poems from the 19th Century, too:
Where their bones now all ride in the surge of the tide
That washes the deep ocean floor.

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024

Thanks, Crystie. The Wreck of the Hesperus is a good example of what you mentioned.

reply by CrystieCookie999 on 24-Feb-2024

That sounds familiar from college, ha ha.

Comment from Lisasview

Excellent

I really love how you immediately bring the reader into your very well told story for the Share a Story in a Poem contest.
I wish you the very best of luck.
Lisa

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024

Thanks, Lisa. I worked in the commercial fishing industry for over forty years.

reply by Lisasview on 25-Feb-2024

Wow, now that is a rather long time... We eat no eat or chicken but wee do eat fish about twice a week...
Lisa

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

I think that was the first time I heard the phrase Perfect Storm. Paul this is an immense piece of work, an epic poem of impressive story-telling quality. You certainly don't do things by halves! I've fully absorbed the details of this tragedy that many would have given up recounting in verse, preferring prose. Well done and good luck in the contest! This one deserves to win! Take care Debbie

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024

Thanks, Debbie. There is a book and a movie that tell this story.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

What a great story told here in good metre and rhyme Paul and I enjoyed the journey even though it ended in tragedy, your poem immortalised the moment here.

(Finally has 3 syllables).

I wish I have a six for you, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024

Thanks, Christine. Finally has two syllables in downeast Maine.

reply by Dolly'sPoems on 24-Feb-2024

Oh dear, is that so?

Comment from jenintorre

Exceptional

WOW! That is what I call totally brilliant writing. Your true story in a poem is so sad but so incredibly well written and surely must win the contest . I was going to enter but could never compete with that. Love Jen.

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024

Thanks, Jen. I worked in the commercial fishing industry for over forty years, so this story hit close to home.

Comment from Mrs. KT

Excellent

Hello, Paul!
I so appreciate your poetic offering.
The event itself reminds me of the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgeralald on Lake Superior in 1975...
Back to your poem:
I appreciate the varied meter, = adds to the feel of hearing a story being told, as well as the beautiful imagery.
Read it aloud = wonderful!

Thank you for sharing!
Best Wishes!
diane

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024

Thanks, Diane. I love Gordon Lightfoot's song.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Thank you for sharing this story/poem contest entry with us. I saw the movie, "The Perfect Storm" and your poem told the story extremely well. I enjoyed reading and wish you the best of luck with the contest.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024

Thanks, Barb. The book is very well written, too.

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

I just watched the movie last night, so when I saw the title of your poem, I had to read it.

I really like the first stanza - a great introduction to the story.

What a haunting tale you've told here, and the bones riding the surge of the tide that washes the deep ocean floor is such a descriptive picture of what happens to those lost at sea.

I think this is a wonderful poetic story and tribute to all those who do our fishing, often risking their lives to bring as much home as they can for both market and their own well being.

The story is an interesting one, but not the only one, especially in those Massachusetts fishing villages.

A great entry for this contest, Paul. Good luck!

xo
Pam

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024

Thanks, Pam. You are right about there being others who have been lost at sea. I worked in the commercial fishing industry for over forty years and have had friends in our company whose bones are being washed on the sea floor.

Comment from Elise H

Exceptional

This is the best poem I've read in days. You've masterfully worked in the rhythm and the rhyme without sacrificing detail or resorting to awkward phrasing. Your story of these fishermen is rich with imagery and tension. Thank you so much for sharing. This is a six star poem for me easily.

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024

Thanks, Elise. This was an easy one for me. I worked in that business for over forty years.