Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

I've missed a lot through my shingles, Beth. Time for a catch-up. I know just how Connie was feeling, but now she'll know how lonely it feels to be cast aside. I just hope her friends come back into her life.

Having your husband home after he retired is another new road to walk. We do have to learn about each other all over again, and it can be fun if handled right. I enjoyed this part, Beth. Well done! :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021

Thank you so much Sandra. I appreciate you going back ant reading the chapter you missed. That one was a little tough to write because I won't to be careful and not make my children feel bae when that read what I right later. I want to be truthful, but no unkind.
Beth

Comment from Elizabeth Emerald

Exceptional

SSSSSStunning. I don't know how I missed this chapter--thanks for clueing me in--please do so if I ever miss ANYTHING you write. Cheerssssss. LIZ

typo: Carol ... continued to work ... until [Augus,t=>AUGUST]

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021

Thanks for going back and reading that even though it had stopped paying. I'm so glad you liked it.
Beth I really apprecated all those stars.

Comment from Lyn Peters

Exceptional

BethShelby, your writing flows so beautifully and you share glimpses of your family's past so openly and honestly. What a difficult time this appears to have been, for Connie--my heart goes out to her, navigating early adolescence can be so tough. I look forward to reading more of your excellent and enjoyable work.

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021

Thank you so much for reading and commenting on this. I really appreciate the six stars.
Beth

Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante

Exceptional

You're such a great mother, caring so much about everything your children experience. Again, you've chosen a perfect title for your chapter, because it describes what was going on so well. There are so many things that can happen in a family, and some parents can be dismissive, but it's good that you were one of the ones who cared.

Here are some suggestions for revisions, but most are just matters of style, concerning punctuation:

Sometimes, she seemed clingy and didn't want us out of her sight,
-->
Sometimes, she seemed clingy and didn't want us out of her sight;

We often told Christi that was extremely attractive,
-->
We often told Christi that she was extremely attractive,

She would find some insignificant imagined flaw and become miserable feeling that it would make her the object of ridicule.
-->
She would find some insignificant, imagined flaw and become miserable, feeling that it would make her the object of ridicule.

At age twenty-four there was never a lack of boyfriends.
-->
At age twenty-four, there was never a lack of boyfriends.

Carol and Glen continued to live and work in Valdosta, Georgia until August
-->
Carol and Glen continued to live and work in Valdosta, Georgia until August,

I'm so happy for you, that you didn't need that hysterectomy. I ended up having one, after the estrogen creme I was prescribed caused bleeding (I think I figured that out a little too late). While it may have been for the best anyway (because the doctor discovered that my intestines were tangled up and had to be untangled), I still miss having the organs that were removed. I would have preferred to keep everything I was born with, but my husband says he would rather have me healthy. But I'm glad your situation worked out well. God bless you!

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021

Thank you Mary Kay. Your review are so through and I do appreciate them. You are always able to improve my work. I wanted to keep all my body parts too but I did lose my appendix, and two year later, my gall bladder. I think that gall bladder loss as caused some digestive problems. Thaan you for the six stars.
Beth

Comment from DonandVicki

Excellent

I think that is so sweet, talking to your beloved husband who has passed. My wife talks to me and she says that I don't hear her or I don't listen. I enjoyed your essay.

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021

Thank you so much for the review and comments You sound like you have selective hearing. My husband used to have that too, so I still get about the same response when I talk to him. LOL.
Beth

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Wow, this was still a very busy time for you even with most of the kids all grown. I always wondered if they added hormones to cow's milk and whether that affected our daughters during their hormonal transition.

So glad that the progesterone worked for you. My daughter is having that but the hormonal treatments have not worked.

Don't know if you already corrected this typo:
sometimew turkey sausage patties. (sometimes)

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021

Thank you Helen, I really appreciate the review and comments. I don't know that the progesterone would have worked if I'd not had things cleared out with the D&C. Once the walls of my uterus was clear, the blood clots didn't build up again. I hope your daughter doesn't get as anemic as I did.
Beth

Comment from robyn corum

Good

Beth,

I always enjoy your memoirs and you know that. This one, however, didn't have the same feel and ease to it. Made me think there might be something going on with you right now, maybe? Are you okay? Something stressful going on in your life right now? Feeling okay?
You need to let us know if something's going on, right? You know we all care about you and worry, too.

Now, with that being said - you have thus far introduced us to a certain very careful and comfortable style of writing - and this piece was lacking a bit of that. It felt like it was a bit stiff and stilted, a little awkward and bounce - moving around in time. (Sorry!)

Here are some specific notes for you:
1.) Your taste(s) ran to country cooking,
--> (sounds delicious, btw)

2.) fry the vegetables we grew (along) our fence,

3.) usually eggs, grits, biscuits and(, sometimes,) turkey sausage patties.

4.) but it seemed worse when we were in the car returning from a visit to my parents(') home.
--> each time? one night? how often, exactly?

5.) but my parents had no liquor in their home.
--> I haven't read all the way through yet - but did you ever get this figured out? I have heard, several times in the last year - which is so weird now that I'm hearing this, about folks with these same symptoms. Docs think they are drunk but it turns out they have a certain condition where their stomach ferments any sugars into alcohol!

Here's a (cut and paste) link for info:

https://www.healthline.com/health/auto-brewery-syndrome#:~:text=Auto%20brewery%20syndrome%20is%20also,foods%20(carbohydrates)%20into%20alcohol.

6.) Personally(,) on these trips, I always suffered from excruciating gas pains.

7.) (We often told Christi she) was extremely attractive, but she refused to believe it.

8.) I don't think she was capable of caring for them because she couldn't accept herself.
--> Bless her heart! And bless her poor mama's heart, too!!!

9.) After I'd undergone my second D&C, which had required five pints of blood,
--> the transitions in this piece are very sharp -- we were talking about Connie and then jumped to Christi without much crossing over. Then we jumped over to you with no transition at all. Just mentioning this so you can check on it. I mostly remember your posts having very smooth flow

10.) Connie a long letter and sent her an arrangement with balloons(.) I think it helped to make her feel better.
--> what a sweet thing to do! You did good, Mama! (Sometimes they impress us, don't they?) *smile*

I hope you'll find something useful here. And I hope you won't be too frustrated about the rating. Let me know if you decide to edit and I'll pop back over immediately and change it. Have a marvy week -- hugs!



This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021

You are the only one that seem to notice anything different and I would say there if there is, it is likely because my Christi has a lot of emotion problems carried over from childhood and when she reads this chapter, I want to be careful in what I say to let her know that she is still loved and we do understand where some of her anger comes from. I have a great relationship with all of my family except her, and I would love to have a better one with her. I want to write the truth but not make her feel worse in so doing. I will talk all of your suggestions and likely use them all. I appreciate the review and I'm sorry you didn't find it as smooth as some of the others but I hope ;you understand why. My daughter Carol said I handled this one really well.
Beth
Beth

reply by robyn corum on 26-Jan-2021

I understand completely. We have a 'Christi', too. Thank you!

reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021

I did make many of the changes you suggested. Especially the errors The vegetable were growing on the fence. It wasn't a garden fence. The vegetable were on vines that ran on the fence. We traveled to my parent from Metairie to Mississippi every two week. I mentioned that before.

reply by robyn corum on 26-Jan-2021

Gotcha!

Comment from Y. M. Roger

Excellent

Young girls are the cruelest bit#$es there are... middle and high school ones especially. Another great chapter Beth -- see you're still rolling along, my lady!! ;) Thanx for sharing! ;) Yvette
Sounds like mom used MSG in her cooking.... perhaps she used 'Kitchen Bouquet' or 'Accent' (it's the worst culprit) as an ingredient?

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021

Thanks Yvette, I appreciate the review and the tip on what might have caused the problem with the chemical reactions. Could be. I'll check that our. It is good to have you back.
Beth

reply by Y. M. Roger on 26-Jan-2021

Welcome, my lady. My oldest is highly susceptible to it... ;) :)

Comment from Devine Writez

Excellent

This was beautiful, I liked the fact that keeping the memory of your husband close to your heart by recalling the moments shared is so important. This shows a gracious loyalty to the love of your life.

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021

Thank you so much for the review and for the nice comments.
Beth

Comment from Iza Deleanu

Excellent

Kids and growing up is not an easy task, when they still want to enjoy the perks of childhood. thank you for sharing and good luck with the new chapter.

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021

Thank you so much Isa. I appreciate you reading and commenting.
BEth