| Biographical Non-Fiction posted August 10, 2021 | Chapters: |
...132 133 -134- 135... 
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Carol's divorce becomes final.
A chapter in the book Remembering Yesterday
Ending and Beginnings
by BethShelby
For new readers, who may not have read my author notes, this is written in a conversational way as I talk to my deceased husband. When I refer to someone just as "you" this means I am addressing my husband, Evan.
In late June of 1993, we went down to Mississippi to visit my parents, who had been having some health issues. Dad had always had knee problems, and lack of exercise since he’d retired had made it hard for him to get around. He had fallen a number of times, and Mom wasn’t strong enough to lift him. Both Mom and Dad had heart problems, even though they were reluctant to see a doctor. Since I was their only child, I felt it was up to me to try to help them, but we lived so far away, I was at a loss to know what to do. I knew they would be reluctant to leave their friends and the place where they had lived all their lives to move near me.
.
While there, we visited your sister, Helen. She was upset because her only son, Jimmy, didn’t have a job. She was having to help him. She said it wasn’t leaving her enough money for her medicine. Carol had some unpaid tithe money, and she gave it to Helen to help her out. I’m pretty sure you added to it as well, because you always helped your family when they were in need.
******
Don and Kimberly took a trip with the Dyes to celebrate his graduation. I think they went somewhere in North Tennessee to a timeshare Jane and Bobby owned. While he was there, Don got very sick and had to be hospitalized. It turned out he had kidney stones, which it took several days for him to pass. He claimed it had to be worse than giving birth. I had to laugh about that.
********
Carol returned to Florida in July for the final divorce hearing. Glen got in trouble as soon as he got to the courthouse. He was wearing a fanny pack, but remembered he would have to go through a metal detector. He took his knives and bullets and everything he could find that was metal out in the car. However, he forgot one of his pistols was in a hidden compartment. When he went through the metal detector, the weapon showed up. It is apparently a big no-no to bring a gun into court. This caused a delay and embarrassment for both of them. They were each questioned separately. They were also encouraged to delay the divorce and get counseling, but Glen's mind was made up. In the end, the divorce was granted. Carol drove her car back to Tennessee to live with us until she worked out another place to live. Carol could have gotten her maiden name back that day with no charge, but she was so sure Glen would want her back she didn't ask for it. Four years later, she would pay the court to have it changed back to Shelby.
One thing good about having her living with us was that she had a decent computer. I had an old Commodore 128, but I’d never been able to do much with it, other than play games. Carol showed me a few things, and I began to learn a bit about computers. By the time she left us, I was hooked and determined to have one of my own. This was when I first got the idea that if I ever had the time, I would like to start writing.
Carol only stayed with us for a couple of months. She found an apartment and signed a six-month lease. It wasn’t far away, and we were able to see her often. We realized that she was happier living on her own. I had often found her depressed and in tears when she lived with us. She needed some alone time to realize she could survive without a man in her life.
******
Connie continued to work at the furniture store, and go out with J.P. and other guys during her free time. Christi was still working for the chemical company, but she was doing a lot of after-hour massages in our house. We weren't happy about it, but it wouldn’t have been so bad, except that she was often late, and her client was forced to wait in our great room. This was very stressful for both of us. I’m sure the client felt awkward about it too, because they would often tire of waiting and leave.
Christi was a person who had little respect for the privacy of her family, or for time in general. Ever since she was a child, getting anywhere on time had been a constant problem for her, and an equally constant source of irritation for us. She hadn’t made it to church on time in years. Traveling with her was close to impossible. We knew most of her jobs didn’t last long, because bosses wouldn’t tolerate an employee who was consistently late for work. She kept herself stressed with knowledge that people had a problem with it. She reminded us of the white rabbit in the Alice and Wonderland story, running around saying “I’m late, I’m late, I’m late." Still, over the years, nothing changed.
In September, I turned fifty-six, which was the age you were when you retired. Since I was feeling burned out from the constant stress of my job, I had started to wish I could retire as well. The problem was my job offered no retirement plan. It wasn’t as though we needed the money, because we were debt free, and you were drawing Social Security. We both had money invested in IRAs and CDs. I figured a part-time job that didn't involve overtime might be easier to tolerate.
When the plant supervisor informed me the method we were using for stripping negatives was becoming obsolete, and the company had decided to go with the more modern method of doing plate preparation on computers, I realized my days there were numbered. The girl who I had been teaching stripping had really never gotten the hang of it. But she was already a computer expert from having worked in typesetting. She was more than willing to go for the training in computer plate preparations. By allowing them to lay me off, I was assured of drawing unemployment, while I looked for other work.
I was a bit irritated the troublemaker I had been training had gotten her way, but otherwise I didn’t regret saying goodbye to the printing company. I left on good terms and signed up for temporary jobs, which I could either take or turn down if I chose to. It didn’t pay as well, but it would be a lot less stressful. You were glad to have me home, since I wouldn't be working late, as I had sometimes done with the printing company.
A few weeks later, I ran into the assistant plant supervisor. He had also lost his job, along with the troublemaker. It was hard not to feel a bit of gratification, but I was glad none of that was a problem which concerned me.
Evan is 65 and a retired drafting supervisor from Chevron Oil.
Beth is 56 and has had a variety of jobs. She is presently working with a local printing company.
Carol is 31, a nurse who will be working at a hospital in Chattanooga. Her divorce is finalized.
Glen Egolf is Carol’s ex-husband. He is 28 and has just completed his nursing degree from Southern College in Orlando.
Don is a twin. He is 29 and just graduated from Life Chiropractic College.
Christi is Don’s twin. She is working as a receptionist at a chemical plant and doing massages on the side.
Kimberly Dye is Don’s wife. She is a nurse working in Atlanta.
Connie is our youngest daughter. She is twenty-one. She is working at a furniture store.
Helen is Evan's sister. Jimmy is her son.
.
For new readers, who may not have read my author notes, this is written in a conversational way as I talk to my deceased husband. When I refer to someone just as "you" this means I am addressing my husband, Evan.
In late June of 1993, we went down to Mississippi to visit my parents, who had been having some health issues. Dad had always had knee problems, and lack of exercise since he’d retired had made it hard for him to get around. He had fallen a number of times, and Mom wasn’t strong enough to lift him. Both Mom and Dad had heart problems, even though they were reluctant to see a doctor. Since I was their only child, I felt it was up to me to try to help them, but we lived so far away, I was at a loss to know what to do. I knew they would be reluctant to leave their friends and the place where they had lived all their lives to move near me.
.
While there, we visited your sister, Helen. She was upset because her only son, Jimmy, didn’t have a job. She was having to help him. She said it wasn’t leaving her enough money for her medicine. Carol had some unpaid tithe money, and she gave it to Helen to help her out. I’m pretty sure you added to it as well, because you always helped your family when they were in need.
******
Don and Kimberly took a trip with the Dyes to celebrate his graduation. I think they went somewhere in North Tennessee to a timeshare Jane and Bobby owned. While he was there, Don got very sick and had to be hospitalized. It turned out he had kidney stones, which it took several days for him to pass. He claimed it had to be worse than giving birth. I had to laugh about that.
********
Carol returned to Florida in July for the final divorce hearing. Glen got in trouble as soon as he got to the courthouse. He was wearing a fanny pack, but remembered he would have to go through a metal detector. He took his knives and bullets and everything he could find that was metal out in the car. However, he forgot one of his pistols was in a hidden compartment. When he went through the metal detector, the weapon showed up. It is apparently a big no-no to bring a gun into court. This caused a delay and embarrassment for both of them. They were each questioned separately. They were also encouraged to delay the divorce and get counseling, but Glen's mind was made up. In the end, the divorce was granted. Carol drove her car back to Tennessee to live with us until she worked out another place to live. Carol could have gotten her maiden name back that day with no charge, but she was so sure Glen would want her back she didn't ask for it. Four years later, she would pay the court to have it changed back to Shelby.
One thing good about having her living with us was that she had a decent computer. I had an old Commodore 128, but I’d never been able to do much with it, other than play games. Carol showed me a few things, and I began to learn a bit about computers. By the time she left us, I was hooked and determined to have one of my own. This was when I first got the idea that if I ever had the time, I would like to start writing.
Carol only stayed with us for a couple of months. She found an apartment and signed a six-month lease. It wasn’t far away, and we were able to see her often. We realized that she was happier living on her own. I had often found her depressed and in tears when she lived with us. She needed some alone time to realize she could survive without a man in her life.
******
Connie continued to work at the furniture store, and go out with J.P. and other guys during her free time. Christi was still working for the chemical company, but she was doing a lot of after-hour massages in our house. We weren't happy about it, but it wouldn’t have been so bad, except that she was often late, and her client was forced to wait in our great room. This was very stressful for both of us. I’m sure the client felt awkward about it too, because they would often tire of waiting and leave.
Christi was a person who had little respect for the privacy of her family, or for time in general. Ever since she was a child, getting anywhere on time had been a constant problem for her, and an equally constant source of irritation for us. She hadn’t made it to church on time in years. Traveling with her was close to impossible. We knew most of her jobs didn’t last long, because bosses wouldn’t tolerate an employee who was consistently late for work. She kept herself stressed with knowledge that people had a problem with it. She reminded us of the white rabbit in the Alice and Wonderland story, running around saying “I’m late, I’m late, I’m late." Still, over the years, nothing changed.
In September, I turned fifty-six, which was the age you were when you retired. Since I was feeling burned out from the constant stress of my job, I had started to wish I could retire as well. The problem was my job offered no retirement plan. It wasn’t as though we needed the money, because we were debt free, and you were drawing Social Security. We both had money invested in IRAs and CDs. I figured a part-time job that didn't involve overtime might be easier to tolerate.
When the plant supervisor informed me the method we were using for stripping negatives was becoming obsolete, and the company had decided to go with the more modern method of doing plate preparation on computers, I realized my days there were numbered. The girl who I had been teaching stripping had really never gotten the hang of it. But she was already a computer expert from having worked in typesetting. She was more than willing to go for the training in computer plate preparations. By allowing them to lay me off, I was assured of drawing unemployment, while I looked for other work.
I was a bit irritated the troublemaker I had been training had gotten her way, but otherwise I didn’t regret saying goodbye to the printing company. I left on good terms and signed up for temporary jobs, which I could either take or turn down if I chose to. It didn’t pay as well, but it would be a lot less stressful. You were glad to have me home, since I wouldn't be working late, as I had sometimes done with the printing company.
A few weeks later, I ran into the assistant plant supervisor. He had also lost his job, along with the troublemaker. It was hard not to feel a bit of gratification, but I was glad none of that was a problem which concerned me.
Evan is 65 and a retired drafting supervisor from Chevron Oil.
Beth is 56 and has had a variety of jobs. She is presently working with a local printing company.
Carol is 31, a nurse who will be working at a hospital in Chattanooga. Her divorce is finalized.
Glen Egolf is Carol’s ex-husband. He is 28 and has just completed his nursing degree from Southern College in Orlando.
Don is a twin. He is 29 and just graduated from Life Chiropractic College.
Christi is Don’s twin. She is working as a receptionist at a chemical plant and doing massages on the side.
Kimberly Dye is Don’s wife. She is a nurse working in Atlanta.
Connie is our youngest daughter. She is twenty-one. She is working at a furniture store.
Helen is Evan's sister. Jimmy is her son.
.
In late June of 1993, we went down to Mississippi to visit my parents, who had been having some health issues. Dad had always had knee problems, and lack of exercise since he’d retired had made it hard for him to get around. He had fallen a number of times, and Mom wasn’t strong enough to lift him. Both Mom and Dad had heart problems, even though they were reluctant to see a doctor. Since I was their only child, I felt it was up to me to try to help them, but we lived so far away, I was at a loss to know what to do. I knew they would be reluctant to leave their friends and the place where they had lived all their lives to move near me.
.
While there, we visited your sister, Helen. She was upset because her only son, Jimmy, didn’t have a job. She was having to help him. She said it wasn’t leaving her enough money for her medicine. Carol had some unpaid tithe money, and she gave it to Helen to help her out. I’m pretty sure you added to it as well, because you always helped your family when they were in need.
******
Don and Kimberly took a trip with the Dyes to celebrate his graduation. I think they went somewhere in North Tennessee to a timeshare Jane and Bobby owned. While he was there, Don got very sick and had to be hospitalized. It turned out he had kidney stones, which it took several days for him to pass. He claimed it had to be worse than giving birth. I had to laugh about that.
********
Carol returned to Florida in July for the final divorce hearing. Glen got in trouble as soon as he got to the courthouse. He was wearing a fanny pack, but remembered he would have to go through a metal detector. He took his knives and bullets and everything he could find that was metal out in the car. However, he forgot one of his pistols was in a hidden compartment. When he went through the metal detector, the weapon showed up. It is apparently a big no-no to bring a gun into court. This caused a delay and embarrassment for both of them. They were each questioned separately. They were also encouraged to delay the divorce and get counseling, but Glen's mind was made up. In the end, the divorce was granted. Carol drove her car back to Tennessee to live with us until she worked out another place to live. Carol could have gotten her maiden name back that day with no charge, but she was so sure Glen would want her back she didn't ask for it. Four years later, she would pay the court to have it changed back to Shelby.
One thing good about having her living with us was that she had a decent computer. I had an old Commodore 128, but I’d never been able to do much with it, other than play games. Carol showed me a few things, and I began to learn a bit about computers. By the time she left us, I was hooked and determined to have one of my own. This was when I first got the idea that if I ever had the time, I would like to start writing.
Carol only stayed with us for a couple of months. She found an apartment and signed a six-month lease. It wasn’t far away, and we were able to see her often. We realized that she was happier living on her own. I had often found her depressed and in tears when she lived with us. She needed some alone time to realize she could survive without a man in her life.
******
Connie continued to work at the furniture store, and go out with J.P. and other guys during her free time. Christi was still working for the chemical company, but she was doing a lot of after-hour massages in our house. We weren't happy about it, but it wouldn’t have been so bad, except that she was often late, and her client was forced to wait in our great room. This was very stressful for both of us. I’m sure the client felt awkward about it too, because they would often tire of waiting and leave.
Christi was a person who had little respect for the privacy of her family, or for time in general. Ever since she was a child, getting anywhere on time had been a constant problem for her, and an equally constant source of irritation for us. She hadn’t made it to church on time in years. Traveling with her was close to impossible. We knew most of her jobs didn’t last long, because bosses wouldn’t tolerate an employee who was consistently late for work. She kept herself stressed with knowledge that people had a problem with it. She reminded us of the white rabbit in the Alice and Wonderland story, running around saying “I’m late, I’m late, I’m late." Still, over the years, nothing changed.
In September, I turned fifty-six, which was the age you were when you retired. Since I was feeling burned out from the constant stress of my job, I had started to wish I could retire as well. The problem was my job offered no retirement plan. It wasn’t as though we needed the money, because we were debt free, and you were drawing Social Security. We both had money invested in IRAs and CDs. I figured a part-time job that didn't involve overtime might be easier to tolerate.
When the plant supervisor informed me the method we were using for stripping negatives was becoming obsolete, and the company had decided to go with the more modern method of doing plate preparation on computers, I realized my days there were numbered. The girl who I had been teaching stripping had really never gotten the hang of it. But she was already a computer expert from having worked in typesetting. She was more than willing to go for the training in computer plate preparations. By allowing them to lay me off, I was assured of drawing unemployment, while I looked for other work.
I was a bit irritated the troublemaker I had been training had gotten her way, but otherwise I didn’t regret saying goodbye to the printing company. I left on good terms and signed up for temporary jobs, which I could either take or turn down if I chose to. It didn’t pay as well, but it would be a lot less stressful. You were glad to have me home, since I wouldn't be working late, as I had sometimes done with the printing company.
A few weeks later, I ran into the assistant plant supervisor. He had also lost his job, along with the troublemaker. It was hard not to feel a bit of gratification, but I was glad none of that was a problem which concerned me.
Evan is 65 and a retired drafting supervisor from Chevron Oil.
Beth is 56 and has had a variety of jobs. She is presently working with a local printing company.
Carol is 31, a nurse who will be working at a hospital in Chattanooga. Her divorce is finalized.
Glen Egolf is Carol’s ex-husband. He is 28 and has just completed his nursing degree from Southern College in Orlando.
Don is a twin. He is 29 and just graduated from Life Chiropractic College.
Christi is Don’s twin. She is working as a receptionist at a chemical plant and doing massages on the side.
Kimberly Dye is Don’s wife. She is a nurse working in Atlanta.
Connie is our youngest daughter. She is twenty-one. She is working at a furniture store.
Helen is Evan's sister. Jimmy is her son.
.
 Recognized |
I'm continuing to recall memories of life with my deceased husband, Evan, as if I am talking aloud to him. I'm doing this because I want my children to know us as we knew each other and not just as their parents.
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