***So far, Miranda has dealt with life's issues. But finding the town pervert in her place of employment, makes her take action.  After dealing with that, her nemesis comes calling. ***

 

 

 

 

Missy stands there looking at me like she's waiting on a hug or something.  "We have history, you and I.  And we used to have such a good time hanging out."

 

"That was close to twenty years ago.  People change.  I've changed.  You, you have definitely changed."

 

"I'm rich.  You're going to hold that against me?"

 

"Yeah, sure, we'll pretend that's where I was going with that."

 

"We have more in common now than we ever have."

 

I glance over at Rita who is watching all of this like it's the Movie of the Week.  "Missy, the only thing we have in common is that we both still think boot cut jeans are in style."

 

"What?"

 

"They aren't.   They haven't been in years."

 

That crazy smile creeps back on her face.  "You think I'm going to give up but I'm not.   I'm gonna win back my very best friend."

 

Silver dollars could have fit inside Rita's eye sockets.  She looks after Missy as she walks out of the store then she spins around to me.  "Shit, Miranda, she ain't playing around.  That girl right there is a narcissist. "

 

"English, please."

 

"It means she is someone who uses people.  She will treat you like crap and when you call her on it, she will say it's all your fault.  She will play the victim.  People like her are emotional vampires."

 

Her words aren't helping alleviate the unsettled feeling I have been experiencing since she walked in.  "So, tell me, Dr. Phil, what do I do?"

 

"I have no idea.  Just don't piss her off."

 

I'm getting ready to go put clean liners in the trash bins when I see the blue lights of Patterson County's finest turning into the parking lot.

 

"What the hell now?"

 

Sheriff Mitch climbs out of his squad car and slowly adjusts his hat.

 

I push the door open with my hip and nod.  "Coffee and donut emergency?"

 

"You're just who I'm here to see."

 

"Me?  What have I done now?"  Of course, I'm joking.  Other than a speeding ticket or four, I'm a model citizen.

 

"Someone has filed a complaint about you."

 

"Come again?"

 

"I said that someone has filed a complaint against you."

 

"Am I supposed to guess or are you gonna share with me?"

 

Mitch puts his hands on his hips and sighs.  "Ed Preston."

 

"This is a joke, right?"

 

"He said you threatened him with a pair of scissors."

 

"And?"

 

"And?  What do you mean "and?"  You can't go around threatening to stab people with scissors.  This is what's wrong with the country today, Miranda."

 

"I respectfully disagree," I say.  "How many times has that weirdo been caught rubbing his talleywacker in public?"

 

Mitch looks away.  I know he doesn't want to be here, especially at the prompting of Ed Preston.  "Jeez, don't call it that."

 

"Talleywacker?  What should I call it?  And answer the question.  How many times has he been caught?"

 

"Five or six times.  But that's beside the point.  You threatened to stab him.  You can't do that.  You can't. "

 

"For the record.  I didn't threaten him.  I might have poked him in the talley-, oh that's right, I'm not supposed to call it that.  I poked him in the crotch and told him to get his ass out of the store."

 

"Call me the next time he comes in.  If he files another complaint against you, I'll have to follow through."

 

"You have a teenage daughter, don't you, Mitch?"

 

He nods.  "Two."

 

"What are you gonna do if Ed visits their place of employment?"

 

"I guess my body cam will suddenly stop working."

 

"That's what I thought.  Now, go on inside and grab a coffee and a donut.  It's on me."

 

"Thanks.  I'll file this as a misunderstanding.  That sound good?"

 

"Sounds good to me."  I turn away and busy myself with the trash bins until Mitch comes back out.

 

"Got a sec?"  I ask, walking towards his car.

 

"So long as you don't utter the word talleywacker, sure."

 

"Has there been any new leads in the Justin Toblerone case?"

 

"There is no case, Miranda."

 

"So, a healthy thirty-three-year old man disappears and no one is suspicious?"

 

"People leave town all the time.  It's called freedom."

 

"He's not contacted anyone in two and a half years.  Left a mansion.  Took no money with him.  Do people do that all the time?"

 

"No.  They don't.   But his wife said he'd been acting odd and distant for quite some time."

 

I laugh. "And you bought that?  Have you met her?  She's certifiable."

 

"Miranda, worry about yourself.  Let the police do whatever they need to do.  But in this case, there isn't anything to do."  He opens his door and starts to sit down.  "Thanks for the coffee and muffin.  And remember, if you see Ed Preston, call me."

 

I muster up a smile and wave as he backs up.  Surrounded by nuts lately and I'm the one who gets a visit from the police.  Our tax dollars at work.

 

 

To be continued ...